Members Heckxx Posted August 17, 2008 Members Share Posted August 17, 2008 This is a rough version of one of my first new songs (but I have been writing music and playing in bands for a long time). First time I released stuff that was entirely written/performed/sung by me tho. Song is called "Autumn Edows" and it is about a documentary I saw aboutthe tragic realities of teenage online lives on such sites like Myspace or Facebook. Listen to song here The predators will takeThe last life you makeThe others laugh in the distance You slip right through and escapeInto a dark, godly placeWhere no one finds resistance Your beauty stuns themIn ways you neverExpected or in-tended everYour love has blindedThe clueless mentorsA war one-sidedLike it's been forever Oh, why, do they burn your cities down? Just hold your breathExpect for the worstAnd hope for the best And Autumn EdowsHas left the buildingShe rests her elbows on keyboard's movingAnd soon enough herStory's endingAs they all force her toBegin the tearing Oh, why, do they burn your cities down? Just hold your breathExpect for the worstAnd hope for the bestLive with the curseAnd ignore the restYou don't deserveThis horrible messStand for your wordAnd ignore the rest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Craigly Posted August 17, 2008 Members Share Posted August 17, 2008 Wow. Very nice. Very polished. I was caught up in the sweeping emotions of it. And the bass line is pleasing, indeed! If I was to be critical, it would be the whoa oa o's after the first chorus. It pulled me out of it a little. Everything else, yes! Very impressive. -C Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Heckxx Posted August 17, 2008 Author Members Share Posted August 17, 2008 Thanks for the listen...yeah those oo'hs I think were mixed too loud, they shouldn't be the main focus, the guitar line should be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members OAFCORE Posted August 19, 2008 Members Share Posted August 19, 2008 Well done...at first it struck me as the typical emo stuff you hear around all the time that is very played out....but as the song progressed it was more an alternative balad which appealed to me more... A couple suggestions: The vocals on the verse seem rather repetitive. The rhythms and melodies sounded very similar on each line; change it up a bit... Your voice almost reminds me of the guy from collective soul...kind of scratchy and soulful. It's sounds like you're aware of this and try to smooth it out while your playing which causes your voice to sound uncontrolled...I'm not a vocalist AT ALL so I don't have much room her to critisize...but own your voice man...just feel it and let it go, be confident! Over all I like it! Thanks for sharing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Heckxx Posted August 19, 2008 Author Members Share Posted August 19, 2008 Thanks for the suggestions...yeah the verse line is repetitive, I guess that was actually intentional, but I think I have a new idea for a variation now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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