two sets of lyrics

[Poor Yorick]

Comments? Questions? Concerns?

 

Yeah, yeah -- I know, y'all can't do lyrics without music...

 

st. andrews apartments

 

Little Davey McIntyre

got collared in the street

He sold us cheap

-- like cut-rate sweets --

to the long arm of the law

 

We had a sack of dynamite

a powder blue cutlass supreme

we're gonna make our stand

gonna make 'em scream

gonna give 'em all what for

 

instead of glory, guts, and powder

-- of course without consent --

we'll be doing fifteen long

in the st. andrews apartments

 

instead of glory, guts, and powder

-- of course without consent --

we'll be doing fifteen long

in the st. andrews apartments

 

***

 

wearing king's evil

 

wearing king's evil on a wednesday noon

it's blackish weather here

and and the grey platoon

they're drop-dead sorry

but they're leavin' real soon

 

the knave he's in his counting house

he's sucking on a spoon

wagered lost and soused

penniless, so sad and

tugging the barmaid's blouse

 

october orange and wintergreen

sights unsaid and whims unseen

cross yourself and say goodnight

last one out switch off the light

 

wearing kings's evil on all hallows day

a cask of bourbon liquor

and a curse you cannot say

hang the knave all high

as you warble, gasp and pray

 

october orange and wintergreen

sights unsaid and whims unseen

cross yourself and say goodnight

last one out switch off the light

[tbry]

Good stuff on both...I especially liked theses lines...in the second lyric

 

october orange and wintergreen

sights unsaid and whims unseen

cross yourself and say goodnight

last one out switch off the light__________________

 

These are good also...from the first lyric

 

instead of glory, guts, and powder

-- of course without consent --

we'll be doing fifteen long

in the st. andrews apartments

 

 

Overall I like the second best...a real errie kind of vibe...good writing:)

[Poor Yorick]

 

Good stuff on both...I especially liked theses lines...in the second lyric october orange and wintergreen sights unsaid and whims unseen cross yourself and say goodnight last one out switch off the light __________________ These are good also...from the first lyric instead of glory, guts, and powder -- of course without consent -- we'll be doing fifteen long in the st. andrews apartments Overall I like the second best...a real errie kind of vibe...good writing:)

 

 

Thanks. I'm not even sure what that second one is about. It just happened. I guess I was feeling "spooky."

[myredshoes]

nice Tania av...

 

 

I like the second better for it's sense of being misplaced in time. I hesitate to say it has a 17th century rock feel to it because I don't wish to offend you, but the words of your language are old though the way they're assembled is not. That stacatto last line is just great.

 

I don't feel the first lyric as well though the story's there and I think that's because the meter is just not one I'm conversant with. My verse tends to be very simple, between 6 and 10 syllables per line and served straight up. So I would need to hear that one to understand how it works.

[Poor Yorick]

 

nice Tania av... I like the second better for it's sense of being misplaced in time. I hesitate to say it has a 17th century rock feel to it because I don't wish to offend you, but the words of your language are old though the way they're assembled is not. That stacatto last line is just great. I don't feel the first lyric as well though the story's there and I think that's because the meter is just not one I'm conversant with. My verse tends to be very simple, between 6 and 10 syllables per line and served straight up. So I would need to hear that one to understand how it works.

 

 

The 17th Century rock thing is totally fair. A lot of what I write winds up in as a mash-up of modern and archaic. I assume it's my interest in Dylan and ballads and colliding with my love of punk rock and "difficult" fiction.

 

The meter in the first song is a bit tricky. It's certainly something that works when I hear it in my head, but it'll also get tweaked a little (I'm sure) when I set it to music.

[myredshoes]

 

The 17th Century rock thing is totally fair. A lot of what I write winds up in as a mash-up of modern and archaic . I assume it's my interest in Dylan and ballads and colliding with my love of punk rock and "difficult" fiction. The meter in the first song is a bit tricky. It's certainly something that works when I hear it in my head, but it'll also get tweaked a little (I'm sure) when I set it to music.

 

 

I'm glad you feel that way because that's the way I hear it in my head and it seems a good mix.

I don't like to tweak when setting to music. I am too attached to my word constructions and sometimes take forever to never to set them to music rather than change them. Depends on the piece I suppose.

[Sentry68]

I gotta agree, I get the bard thing from a lot of your lyrics. Very oaken barrels and pistol shot. You really do a good job at setting a scene across several lines pieced together, no matter the subject.

 

I really like the --of course without consent-- rejoinder. It puts the criminal intent into perspective. It makes me think of Guy Fawkes.... wonder what they're going to blow up...

 

In 'Wearing King's Evil', I don't really get the story, but I like the superstitious late autumn imagery. It really doesn't spend a lot of time setting the scene, but I found it to be very effective. I really like the 'tugging the barmaid's blouse' line. The only drawback is the 'switch off the light' line in the chorus... shouldn't that be 'blow' out the light?