She Sings So Many Songs

[FranklinPearl]

She sings so many songs

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7031960

 

It has been awhile since I have submitted anything. I expected to be able to get more recording done over the past year, but oh well.

 

Thanks in advance for listening. With all due respect, however, don't bother telling me I am not a great vocalist. I know that already, though I am working hard.

 

Drums were done by a friend of mine who is still a high-schooler. He is a little shaky at first, but that's how it goes. He is great, and a great person to work with. Incredible mature for his age.

 

The bass was recorded straight into the mixer, and on a very bad instrument. The drums were essentially done with one mic, as the second mic's track was removed. My room, however, seemed to help.

 

Strat into a Musicman 112-65 for all the guitars, except the acoustic, which is tuned down a step (and a little lower in the mix than I wanted, i think).

 

There's one Where she whispers

And you can barely hear her say

She sings so many songs

And times She's so loud

That you can't help but hear

She sings so many songs

 

Did you ever hear the one

Where she says

Can't you see I'm standing here

And she says she'll take a chance

She says she'll show She really cares

 

She writes In the rain

My girl don't need no sun

She sings so many songs

And when The clouds go

She won't need the shine

She sings so many songs

 

And if you listen closely

You might even see her cry

She sings so many songs

[WrdsNmuzik]

My demos used to sound a lot like this (especially the one-mic drums), so I can appreciate the slightly shaggy-dog sound, and the arrangement ain't bad, with the panning guitar note and whatnot.

 

But . . I'm having trouble with the shape of the piece. I don't hear any real structure, and the lyrical lines don't seem to work together.

 

The better ones create a mood and a kind of oblique quality: "And you can barely hear her say/she sings so many songs" Neat, the listener's not sure if "she" is actually saying "she sings so many songs" or if that's going to be a repeated refrain.

 

But it doesn't really get clarified as the song goes on, and bringing rain into it seems a bit weak. And the weakest lines don't even make much sense (if you listen closely you might see her cry).

 

Sorry to sound negative; I get the sense that you're not quite sure what you want to say about this woman.

[palimino]

The link you have takes me to the general soundclick site. I can't offer any ideas for the lyric. Seems to me this one is more dependent on music than the norm.

[FranklinPearl]

don't know why that is, palimino.

I will look into it when I am off work...or when the boss leaves.

EDIT: It is fixed...

 

as for the previous comments...I can see what you are saying, and don't wholly disagree.

 

I do prefer oblique lyrics.

 

the second verse (where rain comes in) is really about this girl's unyielding in the face of obstacles and difficulties and such, with the second line "when the clouds go, she won't need the shine" suggesting that, in the end, it doesn't matter the situation, she has her mind made up and will accept no concessions or accomodation. She doesn't need your help or your thanks. I am not above losing the rain reference, but i like the overall verse...if something comes to mind, i will have a decision to make.

 

The last line is a play on the images that come to mind when you listen to songs. If you listen, you can see a girl crying, despite whatever else there might be.

 

Some of her 'songs' are quiet, some are loud, etc. My lyrics are, more often than not, i guess, impressionistic. I like to think i am outlining an image, even if it is confusing.

 

Thanks for listening

[tbry]

Link did not work for me either...from reading your response to lyrical content it doesn't appear you would want to change anything anyway so I won't comment...will wait to hear the music...

[FranklinPearl]

Link did not work for me either...from reading your response to lyrical content it doesn't appear you would want to change anything anyway so I won't comment...will wait to hear the music...

 

Sorry...everything is always up for revision. I was simply trying to...apologize, i guess, by explaining what i was going for. To be honest, the second verse required some convincing of myself on my part. Believe me, if I come up with something better, you can bet it will substituted.

 

EDIT: new link works for me...

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=765316&content=songinfo&songID=7031960

[tbry]

This has a lot going for it...wish I could hear the harmony vocals...I have a feeling they are cool...just can't hear them that well...good guitar work also...good rhythm repeating sound...good job!!