Lessons Burned In

[Okieslims]

The songwriters thread has got me cooking

This is the opening to a song about painful life lessons. and I'm trying to use some kind of branding imagery.. I figure I'll come up with a couple more lessons and call it a wrap...

This songs guitar arpeggio was inspired by the Iron and Wine albums that blue suggested. I've been going through them and really dig his approach to the guitar.

Thumbs up? Thumbs down? Any suggestions?

 

She stayed to teach me of love

then she left and I learned of longing

Now I drink and try to look tough

but my chest is caving in

 

it was hard

hard

hard lesson

 

to learn

to burn

in my skin

 

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7809258

 

 

 

I also wrote this little ragtime song.. I can't play ragtime yet, but I thought it was good enough to post

 

 

Burn Me Up

 

It's such a shame

What they charge these days

for an 8 by 5 by 6 foot grave

so burn me up, I won't feel no pain

 

Buy 10 acres with the money you saved

 

 

 

When I die won't you burn me up

and mix me in some grape koolaid

when the death dealers have had a cup

tell them about the money you saved

 

 

 

Therapy you say? lol .. I worked at a hospital for a long time. I grew to hate everybody in the death business..

[Nick*]

I liked it. I thought it was a nice start to a successful song. I definitely like the first two lines.

 

Now, Burn Me Up...lyrically, I love it. I think this is really good...REALLY good.

 

Awesome job

[Okieslims]

Thanks Nick

 

Both these songs represent a new direction for my writing. I am now beginning with a complete story in mind. I then develop a structure. Then I will go over each line to improve it poetically. I think it's going to make me a much better writer in the long run.

 

The second song was inspired by Lucinda WIlliams' son called fancy funeral. It's the nice approach to this subject. I wanted to get a little evil about it:D

 

Thanks for the support man. I will check out your tune once I get home.