Are These Lyrics Too...

[Writer]

Wow...Yes, I do look fat in those jeans might just make a funny song!!! Think of the possibilities, lol...

[Marshal]

OK. I came to this late. And I haven't read all the comments. But here's what I thought upon first reading.

 

I feel that there are no negatives and positives discussed. Somehow, we (the listeners) want to hear how the trophy-wife-hunting doesn't lead to happiness. In fact, just the opposite. It's a false premise. And that looking beyond superficial traits will give a treasure chest of rewards.

 

A song is always about the listener. Sure we tell individual stories. But if the listener can't get something out of it for themselves, then it's not a song worth listening to.

 

(Not bad mouthing your song. It's got some solid things happening. I'm talking in general [about my songs ])

[The Rand Man]

For whatever it's worth, I've been following this thread, and I like the flow of this bridge better than the latest one:

 

 

(Bridge) Don't wanna be no man's trophy Just an object, like his shiny new car Don't need to spend half the day at the spa And half the night at the bar I may not look too fancy Don't need to dress real smart 'Cause there's a prize Money can't buy Deep inside my heart.

 

 

Either way, it's good, but it seems to me like you've already said she doesn't need things like a fancy car, so why not move to what she wears instead of mentioning "things," which to me (maybe only to me) suggests things other than clothes. Anyway, there's my two cents. I like the song; it's got a good message, and it flows nicely.