One Step

[Heckxx]

It's been absolutely forever since I finished up a song, but I'm definitely proud of this one. Please take a listen, let me know what you think!

 

I hope that the lyrics and topic are easy to understand, yet not too simplistic. I hope this music make you want to dance, I hope it hits the heart deeply. Those are my goals!

 

-Jeff

 

 

 

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One Step

 

[Verse1]

This world is pressuring me

Expectations way too high

And I'd rather fall than fail tonight

Less than one hour of sleep

And I gotta get up, and get back on my feet

Nothing about this life is easy

 

[Chorus]

And I'm one step from the edge

A little more wind could carry me

Down this cliff

Into the deepest seas

And I'm one step from the fall

I can't take this hell after all

My story gets so tragic

When my back's against the wall

 

[Verse2]

There's no one here to say

"Slow down, take it easy, breathe"

I'm just alone in my misery

Nobody seems to understand

This pain I feel, this suffering

Like needles in my skin

It makes me cringe

 

[bridge]

I'm gonna show this city I've been through it all

I'm tired of this living like an animal

Obeying orders, never free

Working hard to make ends meet

Someday I'll be living on the street

 

[Ending]

Just one step

I'm just one step away

Give me a reason

Show me the meaning

Of this life today

[revrnrGuitar]

I really like the imagery, and especially the rhyme scheme in the chorus. The lyrics are really good, I can relate to a lot of it. The music is good too, but it would be cool if there was something else going on in the music. I don't know what, maybe more guitar (haha, of course I'd say that)

Are you singing? The vocals sound great.

Overall, it's a great song, great lyrics, and the chorus is really catchy too. Good work.

[rockinrobby]

Hey Jeff, good song, great lyrics. The mix feels a little bottom heavy. And the vox need to come up, and could use some more brightness/excitation.

[Heckxx]

Thanks Robby and rG! This mix could definitely use more instruments and better mastering, I tried to focus on just the basic elements here, mostly with the vocals and drums. I'm always surprised how simple some of the song mixes you hear on the radio, so I tried to take some influence from that, focusing on as few elements as necessary.

 

I am singing here, and I wouldn't have it any other way!

 

-Jeff

[Marshal]

I would say;

"Nobody seems to understand

This pain I feel, this suffering"

about sums it up.

 

There are some great images here. Nice music. It's just missing anything specific for the listener to relate to.

 

How are we supposed to relate to this person? Do we pity him; envy him; dislike him; root for him? We don't have a clue, because we don't know anything specific.

[Heckxx]

Thanks for the feedback Marshal!

 

I tried to make the lyrics as general as I could, so that more people could relate to it. Listeners would relate to the emotion, the feeling. Being too pressured in a high-stress life. Feel like giving up. Like nobody understands the pain we feel sometimes, when life gets a bit crazy. In an extreme sense, it can mean suicide or perhaps just a figurative suicide.

 

You're not supposed to pity or envy him. You're supposed to BE him. That was my intention, I think.

[Marshal]

Well, you'll hear from me every time that "specifics" sell stories. Generalities wither on the vine.

 

But I don't have any lock on "songwriting truth."

 

 

PS - The first verse you introduce falling:

And I'd rather fall than fail tonight

 

Then there's no sleep:

Less than one hour of sleep

And I gotta get up, and get back on my feet

Nothing about this life is easy

 

Then back to falling:

And I'm one step from the edge

A little more wind could carry me

Down this cliff

Into the deepest seas

And I'm one step from the fall

I can't take this hell after all

My story gets so tragic

 

Then you introduce a wall:

When my back's against the wall

 

How many walls are built next to a cliff? Fortresses I suppose. But as a listener I'm a little confused. There seems to be mixed metaphors.

 

(But there are Many very nice things about this one. Feel free to ignore what I say. Most intelligent people do.)

[Heckxx]

Lol, well I very much appreciate your analysis Marshal, it shows you're really listening and that sort of feedback is invaluable.

 

I agree that "my back's against the wall" could be better, but I can't think of anything. Perhaps something along the lines of "when I got nowhere to turn", "when I'm staring down the pit", or something, but neither of those rhyme correctly.

 

"id rather fall than fail tonight" doesn't have to be about falling, I didn't mean for it to "connect" with the chorus (the "falling" could be chorus-exclusive, I think that would be fine). I do find that line clever, though. I like clever.

 

-Jeff

[Claudia27]

I really like the lyrics!