Kathie D DEMO

[rickidoo]

THREAD IS CLOSED - ALL SET ON THE DEMO! THANKS.

 

 

Hi everyone,

 

This is a song in progress; lyrics are not finalized... appreciate any comments in regard to this.

 

It's not really a personal song. I have to admit, I was thinking about McCartney's song "Sally G" when I thought about a title "Kathie D". Then the song was written, 'tho Kathie (wife) was used as the inspiration.

 

All ideas, suggestions, compliments, aspersions welcome.

 

KATHIE D

© 2011 Rick Dieffenbach

 

V1: Driving in my car, on this a sunny day

The wheels are turning to the beat as my sweet ipod plays

 

=======================================

CHORUS:

I'm on my way back home to her, to see my girl

The sun is bright the sky is blue, in my world

 

======================================

 

V2: She's the one for me, of that you can be sure.

She taught me all I need to know that love is so much more

 

(CHORUS)

 

Instrumental

 

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She's everything to me, kathie d

She's made my life complete, kathie d

=======================================

 

 

Now it won't be long, 'til I am back at home

The miles they pass so quickly as I sing this happy song

 

CHORUS

[lynn51]

For a rough demo, this is pretty good. The production is clean and clear, which is right on for this style, and it had my toes tapping. I don't think you need to do much to this unless you want to add some backup vocals or a harmony to the lead vocal. It's like how many more spices do I need to add to the recipe? So far, so good.

[Monkey Uncle]

No need to apologize for the demo; some of "us" have posted much rougher material.

 

All in all, it's a great little love ditty. I really like what you've done with the rising melody line in the verses. However, there are a couple of places where the lyrics bug me a bit:

 

1) The phrase "sweet ipod" struck me as a little odd. I'm not sure I love any of my personal electronics enough to call them "sweet." You could just drop that word and the line would make perfect sense, and it would also be easier to sing within the musical space that you have.

 

2) I realize this is supposed to be a syrupy-sweet love song, so I think you can be given a little license to re-use some well-worn phrases. However, the lyrics in the bridge are a bit too trite for my tastes ("she's everything to me", "she's made my life complete"). They seem like filler instead of heart-felt sentiments. I don't have any specific replacement suggestions, but there are plenty of e-rhyme words out there from which to choose.

 

Thanks for sharing. Your wife is one lucky gal to have you writing multiple love songs for her.

[rickidoo]

 

For a rough demo, this is pretty good. The production is clean and clear, which is right on for this style, and it had my toes tapping. I don't think you need to do much to this unless you want to add some backup vocals or a harmony to the lead vocal. It's like how many more spices do I need to add to the recipe? So far, so good.

 

 

Thanks Lynn,

 

It's closer now. I do need to rerecord the vocals they were place holders until the lyrics were finalized. Thanks for listening!

 

Rick

[rickidoo]

No need to apologize for the demo; some of "us" have posted much rougher material. All in all, it's a great little love ditty. I really like what you've done with the rising melody line in the verses. However, there are a couple of places where the lyrics bug me a bit: 1) The phrase "sweet ipod" struck me as a little odd. I'm not sure I love any of my personal electronics enough to call them "sweet." You could just drop that word and the line would make perfect sense, and it would also be easier to sing within the musical space that you have. 2) I realize this is supposed to be a syrupy-sweet love song, so I think you can be given a little license to re-use some well-worn phrases. However, the lyrics in the bridge are a bit too trite for my tastes ("she's everything to me", "she's made my life complete"). They seem like filler instead of heart-felt sentiments. I don't have any specific replacement suggestions, but there are plenty of e-rhyme words out there from which to choose. Thanks for sharing. Your wife is one lucky gal to have you writing multiple love songs for her.

 

Hi Monkey,

 

I do need to rewrite those lyrics, you are spot on about the trite and overused phrases. I wrote the core of the song about 6 months ago and have learned so much since then; I will give'er a try to improve that. The vocal is just a placeholder and I was hoping to get some lyrical comments. It may be an age thing, but I've used the word "sweet" to describe things that are very nice, and unique. BUT.,.. it may be just me. If I can find a better way to word it, I'll try it.

 

But you are totally absolutely wrong when you say she is a lucky gal. It is I who am the lucky one.

 

Thank you Monkey for your thoughtful review of the song!

 

Rick