Members Monkey Uncle Posted August 6, 2012 Author Members Share Posted August 6, 2012 Thanks, LCK. Your feedback has been most helpful. Jack, I was going for a "Calgon, take me away!" vibe with this song. Life really does suck, so the protagonist wants to go sit and stare at the ocean to forget about it all. So, I did notice that I have created a logical problem with the re-write. In the first verse, the car is now already dead. Then in the chorus, we're going a few miles down the road to the water. How are we going to get there? (Assuming this is semi-rural or suburban America, with no public transportation.) Does that bother anyone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted August 6, 2012 Members Share Posted August 6, 2012 I have created a logical problem with the re-write. In the first verse, the car is now already dead. Then in the chorus, we're going a few miles down the road to the water. How are we going to get there? (Assuming this is semi-rural or suburban America, with no public transportation.) Does that bother anyone? Yeah, that's a lapse in logic. If you lived close enough to the river, you could just hoof it. LCK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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