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New Esteban Guitar Too Hilarious to Miss


Fireproof777

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Ok, ok, I know this should be in the Acoustic forum, but this was too hilarious to keep there.....

 

So there I was channel surfing when what flashes across the screen??? Only the "A Tribute To Paula Abdul Limited Edition" Esteban guitar!!! :facepalm: It was like watching a wreck in slo-mo...I couldn't look away... Seriously, I think the proverbial shark has been jumped, missed the ramp, and got eaten...

 

Damn, I needed a good laugh like that today!!!

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I forgot to watch the Esteban Concert on HSN that this probably was shown on.

 

Speaking of Esteban, I'll come clean about posting nasty reviews on the Estebans over on Harmony Central Reviews. I posted under the following names: "Dwastat E." on American Legacy Limited Edition and Master Class, "Alex" on Black/Silver Limited Edition, "Your a lamo productions" and "Anonymous" on Burswood Acoustic, "Amy Rose" on D-100 American Legacy, "The One From Esteba" on Master Class, and "The Anti-AOL" on Unknown Guitar.

 

Was I really doing wrong if my original goal was to keep people from buying these turds and instead supporting their music stores? Amy and Dwastat's reviews were particularly well-written if I do say so myself, Amy's was a Sonic the Hedgehog fan fiction written from that character's perspective and Dwastat's gave advice on guitars to get instead of Esteban. Plus, the last of my Esteban "reviews" was written November 23, 2007, a little before I started lurking here and far before I joined.

 

Should I go back to these evil ways and write a review on this piece of junk? Or has Esteban changed his ways of churning out crappy guitars and turned to churning out wall hangings that look like guitars?

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The truth is that most guitars end up in the attic. Only a small percentage of people who pick up a guitar, whether they are young or old, stick with it to the point where they can actually play a song all the way through.

 

Esteban knows that, and he is an enterprising entrepreneur living the American dream. He's not doing any harm, and most people would be thrilled to get one of his beginner packs as a gift. I guarantee you that my first Sears/Harmony guitar was not anywhere close to being as playable as Esteban's.

 

My guess is that a lot of people who are into gear are not really players. They are nitpickers, tinkerers, and a lot of them could tell you why your Gibson sucks ass, but they couldn't play a complete song on one if their life depended on it.

 

I love to poke fun at Esteban and Ed Roman, but I'm not gonna argue with their success!

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If not, there should be.


I almost hate to admit it, I have an esteban acoustic that I had bought for my daughter... not a bad playing guitar after I recut the nut, took my belt sander to the bridge wood and lowered it, then lowered the bridge saddle and did a fret level.

You mean you had to work on your "Totally made by hand" guitar, as estaban say's, that dude couldn't play his way out of a wet paper bag, unless of course it's a competion for "House o teH rising sun".

 

I like in his HSC spots when he goes "and now I hit teH overdrive for some rock-n-roll" I wish Kerry King or Zakk Wylde was behind him with 2 stacks lettin loose at 75% volume and roll that fake dude off the set.:cop::poke::eek::lol::facepalm:

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Even if his guitars were legit, I don't trust anyone on TV trying to sell me something wearing jet black shades especially at night-time.
:facepalm:

 

Thats just his personna... the man of mystery... wooo...

 

or he's just all fucking tweaked out or stoned.

 

My guess is the latter. I couldn't sell a piece of crap guitar talking it up like its something great on national television in any sober state of mind.

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Thats just his personna... the man of mystery... wooo...


or he's just all fucking tweaked out or stoned.


My guess is the latter. I couldn't sell a piece of crap guitar talking it up like its something great on national television in any sober state of mind.

The latter indeed, whats scary is I think he believes his own crap.:bor::blah::eek::facepalm:

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Dude... we get it: you're this total super-badass who posts false reviews about guitars. Get over yourself. Nobody's commenting on it because it really isn't funny.

:cry::mad:

 

I refuse to get over myself!

 

This is the last time I ever try humor. Next time I'll rob a bank and pay a humor writer to start posting under my name while I rot in jail or in my grave. Either that or shackle myself in my room with my guitar chained to me and adopt 23 hour practice days so by a year's time when my playing is better than the Jonas Brothers my opinions mean something and I'll be able to try the Sticky Jam. Anything to make me a better and less irritating poster here.

 

Maybe if I start getting high like Esteban I'll be funny or able to sell total crap. :idea:

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Thats just his personna... the man of mystery... wooo...


or he's just all {censored}ing tweaked out or stoned.


My guess is the latter. I couldn't sell a piece of crap guitar talking it up like its something great on national television in any sober state of mind.

 

 

IIR the story, when he got f'd up in a car wreck his vision got screwed up and he has to wear the shades all the time because light bothers him.

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he's not, your are...he's actually funny, your a tight-ass.

You're right, but he's also right. I did put a lot of effort in those "reviews", but I shouldn't have tried to force them down people's throats. Now if I posted a song I wrote and am proud of then I'll be shoving it down your throats if no one listens.

 

My last response in this thread was fueled by blind rage after receiving a "nobody cares" response. If I dare try to be a "funny" (read: irritating to some) poster I'll need some kind of get-up. No I won't be stealing Esteban's look, no I won't be robbing banks as I said in my previous post--WAIT A SECOND, MAYBE PUTTING THE TWO TOGETHER COULD WORK...:idea::evil: but only for something like the plot for a YouTube video.

 

I've learned my lesson: I shouldn't try to be funny, and if I do, I shouldn't force it. Actually, replace "funny" with "creative" (as in writing songs, the one thing that is holding me back in my playing) and that still would stay true.

 

Let's get this thread back to where it belongs: bashing Esteban for good reasons.

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