Kozmo

IF you had a drum/music store close to you I would suggest taking the drums to them and pay/bribe someone who knows how, to tune them for you. Given that you are in the country, find a drummer and buy them a beer and have them come over to tune them for you. You will learn a lot from watching them, and you may also learn what to listen for. Its all about listening and playing with it until you start to understand, In other words, call in a ringer!

Pull out all the frets above the third fret. You don't need them anyway, and the neck will resonate clearer without them. Also, if you like the tone of Willie Nelsons guitar, fashion your own "extra soundhole" then let the sweet sound pour out of your axe. You can also help a new guitar "open up" by strapping it down to whatever heavy duty industrial electric equipment you have handy. If nothing else, have your wife strap that new axe to her vacume cleaner while she cleans.