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OT: Totally bummed out today..


JesterRace51

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Just got home from spending the last two days upstate at my uncle's cabin(new construction and VERY nice) on his 50 acre piece of land(absolutely beautiful, rural new york). We performed a "green funeral" on my aunt Mary, who was 51 when she passed on November 12th from stage 4 cancer finally spreading to her liver, and attacking/destroying it entirely.

 

She was a very simple person at heart, and loved nature, and always considered herself to be one with it. She loves all animals, and is a natural with animals of any kind(ok, maybe not a vicious man eating shark) so she wanted to be buried privately on the kind of property she's lived on for the last 25 years of her life. She's been married to my uncle for 32 years. They met in the Air Force when they were 18, fell in love, and ran off and married one year later at the age of 19. They then went on to work for Nasa, my aunt as a systems analyst and my uncle as a Payload Specialist(having relatives working in "top secret" style clearance areas is a real perk when you're a space geek at heart :p).

 

She didn't want your typical over the top coffin. She was very old fashioned. She wanted just a pine-box made for her, and lined with wool(she was a sheep herder on the farm, and owned many, many sheep in her day, but believe me...she wasn't amish or anything like that, she's just a very unique woman, and always will be.

 

My uncle, who is now 54, has been my "hero" ever since I can remember the earliest periods of my life. He has always been my best friend, when I was little he would stay up with me(against my mother's wishes, he lived with us briefly for a couple years) and play Mario on Nintendo with me and I'd always watch in awe as he would beat it for me. The man has a heart of gold, and also a heart of stainless steel. He's a true softie, and he'd do anything to help anyone but the man is as tough as nails emotionally. Yesterday was my first time, in my 26 years of life ever seeing that man cry, let alone to each other as we hugged and patted each other on the back for what felt like hours. To see him cry really changed my entire perspective on my life, and makes me cherish the things I love most that much more, one of them...who I recently posted was my soon to be fiance, who is now working things out with me, after she agreed to attend to the funeral with me due to knowing my aunt fairly well, and had met several times throughout our relationship.

 

The ceremony was beautiful though. Really gorgeous. The setting was absolutely perfect. She looked beautiful. Like I said, the woman lived by the word "natural" so there was no embalming done or anything. They had just dressed her in her favorite clothes(the hospice people anyway). I was on of the bearers(is that the correct spelling?) in carrying her coffin, and when we opened it up, to give everyone a chance to leave her with something special to ourselves and to her, I was simply amazed at how peaceful she looked, finally as well as simply beautiful. I've watched this woman battle some of the most aggressive cancer for 2 1/2 years, and at one point we thought she had it beat. She came so close, but it was some medical fluke they called it that it came back from being completely eradicated and ended up being much, much more severe. I can't tell you how unfortunate this is, I think that goes without saying but we are also very fortunate that she is finally pain free as the last 2.5 years have been a nightmare for her and she really struggled to do anything she wanted to do. She was unfortunately not in any condition to really try knocking things off her bucket list, which is terribly {censored}ty and chokes me up just thinking about it.

 

Anyway, our family has always been a little disconnected, which is unfortuante, but Mary's final wish was that our family became closer from her death, and I know for a fact our families, both mary's immediately familys, and ours all sat down and talked for hours and made promises to each other that we'd be visiting each other as often as possible, and always spending the holidays together. My aunt's mother, and sister live in cocoa beach florida, so we'll be spending some time down there every year from now on since they have a house big enough to accommodate all of us. My uncle has lives only about 4 hours away, and I made a promise to him that I'll be coming up at least once every couple months to stay for a weekend, and we'll go out to eat and drink some beers(he's a huge beer snob lol), and do as much hunting as we can depending on what's open as far as the seasons go. I told him if he feels up to it in a couple weeks, and wants to at least spend a weekend out on his property for gun(just started I believe, or it's next monday) season(whitetail deer) that I will make it my priority to come up since I have my license and put in as many hours out in the woods as we can to try and put some venison in his freezer. Venison is his favorite food, and when he doesn't have a freezer packed full of it, the man gets pissed lol. So once he's had enough alone time to grieve, and feels up to spending some time doing his favorite past-time, I'm hoping he agrees to give it a shot. It's just there's lots of things to be taken care of now after my aunt's passing, and deer season doesn't last all that long. Usually about a month for gun season, although there's a special muzzleloading season that starts in mid december, which we could give a whirl. I have an in-line muzzleloader that's accurate enough for 3" groups out to about 125 yards(and due to the type of property it is, I doubt I'd have to shoot much longer than that) but I'll always feel more confident with my Remington 700 VTR(atacs camo) chambered in .308 winchester, which is probably the most accurate gun I've owned, and has plenty of velocity and power even with the shorter barrel, which gives it a great balance for situations when you have to be quick and shoot free-handed. It also has a built in muzzle-break which helps eliminate the muzzle from rising much when fired. And the recoil isn't {censored} compared to most .308s I've fired, and nothing like my 30-06 that's for sure. For the quality of firearm it is, I got it at a great deal at just a little bit over $800 from Bass Pros Shop(gun retails for over $930). But enough about my firearms lol.

 

Anyway, just felt like I should post. I know I've already asked for mojo, but when it comes to this kind of stuff you guys are always super supportive, and I need as much of that as I can get :thu:.

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Totally agreed man lol. When things like this happen, and I'm down in the dumps, I really write a lot and talk a lot about it. Thank you though. You too Kesa.

 

 

same here, man, same here.

 

right now i have a boring ass anthropology paper that is absorbing the keystrokes i dont waste on hcaf.

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