The Delicate Balance of being in a Band: Part 3

Phase 8

Well, the band has successfully created drama within the group and they can be sure that things get much more interesting. Now that the recording has become a complete mess, the band actually got the bright idea to start gigging again and get better as a live act first before going back to the studio even though they had previously spent 6 to 8 months of rehearsal time with songs. Rocket Science is truly amazing.....Nasa would be proud indeed! Now, after awhile things calm down and the band starts gigging again, ignoring the studio problems and here's where things really start to unravel. During this side-stepping period, the singer develops an ever-famous tick called "Lead Singer" disease. Perhaps you've all heard of it? It's basically where one guy decides that his having fun at the expense of everyone else is the most important thing in the world. Oh yes, egomaniacs are a dime-a-dozen in this business but hey, what would a band story be without one? So anyway, the band plods along gigging mindlessly one right after the other and the real kicker: saving no money for the recording. How you ask? Once again, the road to communicaton is broken down. Even better, there are now stories circulating within the band about how the lead singer cheats on his wife at an after party after one of the shows and kisses a fat biotch in his friends jacuzzi. Classic! To add fuel to the fire, he was on Ecstasy at a show too. Then to the rest of the bands amazement, he and the drummer like to snort coke on a regular basis and finally, yes finally, the singers wife and him like to swing with other couples and asked the drummer and his girlfriend if they'd like to participate. The only problem is, the drummer by this time naturally, doesn't have any trust for the singer (after the recording studio incident among other things) so he starts to talk about the singer to the rest of the band and how the singer's wife tells him about their problems. Life is functional and happy.

The End

cool stuff there...i've been in a similar situation about the drummer not being able to cut the mustard and it's a real pain. First off as from my experience ....is that everybody has to know where they stand in the band....everybody should know their place and secondly every band member must be respected regardless of the instrument he/or she plays and ideas they throw in the band....if you disrespect the drummer or bassist because they don't get the prestige as a singer and guitarist..you're asking for trouble and at the same time it should go with the drums and bass as well. Everybody should feel important in the band.... it takes a team effort to pull the band together, they put their time and energy in the band to help carry it as far as it can go, so be sure to be aware of that without them you'll be on your own...unless you have hired guns or friends filling in.. Trust is an extremely important issue without trust a band will fall apart faster than you know it and from what i've gone through i will never be in a band with somebody I don't trust. I rather have a jerk in a band that is going to be straight foward and honest with you ......i can always respect that, but if a band member has trust issues and you're always questioning their movtives, then it makes sense to leave the band. I will never compromise myself in that position ever again . And of course communication.....everybody has know what's going on for the present and future of the band. No band member is ever going to be perfect but if issues are discussed and the situations have been address then things are going to be fine...maybe not in a way like you have to kick your drummer out of the band but knowing the fact that you've been more than fair to him and he's well aware of the chances and opportunities given to him ....then there is nothing you can do but make that change and move on........as long as there are no regrets in the bands decision then you did the right thing.

Interesting read. In my particular case there hasn't been performance in the studio issues (well maybe some minor ones, a bass player from years ago used to get very stressed out when recording but eventually came through), and while major drug problems have not entered the picture there have been the social pot smoking episodes in years past.

I share much of the "feeling" of your story and have experienced it's like over the years. It makes me want to write my band experience but it would be a novel that no one cares about except maybe me and that might even be stretching it.

I'm sure anyone who has been in band situations for 10 years or more have experienced much of what you wrote and I'm sure some have far surpassed it. Hopefully we have learned from our experiences.

i am putting together a band right now and this article was interesting. i can already relate to certain points. my band had problems with our bass player being habitually late and not showing up at all and lying about his drug use so we cut him loose and just got new guy that fits perfectly. the bass player we let go has been trying to get at us by telling each of us that the other guy is saying stuff and if we weren't so closely knit and if we didn't have such a great bond and trust we'd already have fallen apart. trust and chemistry and communication is head and shoulders more important than talent.