Lyrics.....please critique

Snow Would Melt- words and music by Nick Randall

I wish the snow would melt but then we all might drown

We could build a boat and sail it on the sea.

Try our best to make promises

For a new society

Built a fire on a mountaintop

So we could see the country lines

But waves erased the latitudes

That governed our Design

On this rock, let the waters rise

As we all are climbing down

It's a terrible compromise,

It's freezing again, and starting to snow.

Building houses from the things we've got:

Some shoelace and some string.

Shingles made from credit cards

And other fancy things.

Gather food while playing war,

It's a shady game of cards.

No more TV and gasoline,

But it's not too late to start.

On this rock, let the waters rise

As we all are climbing down

It's a terrible compromise,

It's freezing again, and starting to snow.

Some of us will swim away

and others still will drown.

Some of us will try to stay,

But bury our promises in the ground.

Heaven's city lights (the only lights we have),

Cast illuminated darkness on the shore.

Constellations are memories

Of being here before.

On this rock, let the waters rise

As we all are climbing down

It's a terrible compromise,

It's freezing again, and starting to snow.

Rip it to shreds, this is my first song and I need some input! You can hear it at www.mp3.com/nickrandall

thanks!!!!!

pleeeeeease? I'ts my first try.

It's "gasoline", but otherwise's pretty sweet...and welcome to this board.

I really like the theme. Vague, but not excessively so. Intersting writing style you have there; pretty individual.

heh i've been writing songs for about a year and a half and i'm only now to about the same point you start at- your good you crazy bastard, good indeed I DIG IT

YOU SUCK your way to good at this... mind sharing some of your talent with me?