Members B-Complex Posted June 30, 2003 Members Share Posted June 30, 2003 These are some quick lyrics that took me about 45 seconds to write...please give feedback. Thanks! I can't understandWhy you don't understandWhy can't you just shutupAnd stick to the plan? Too denseToo slowToo thick in the headToo shallowToo hollowTomorrow is dead This urgency is the baneThis pressure is what's insaneMy persistenceIs my existenceTime is upIt's time to change Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cool_E Posted June 30, 2003 Members Share Posted June 30, 2003 arguably the best lyrics ever penned in 45 seconds. I wonder how much you could achieve if you dedicated like 10 minutes to the task. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members B-Complex Posted July 1, 2003 Author Members Share Posted July 1, 2003 Well thank you. Anyone else? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members guilded Posted July 1, 2003 Members Share Posted July 1, 2003 I don't know if I'd believe it was written in 45 seconds if you didn't tell me. They'd work very well in a song. They aren't particularily interesting, but I guess 45 seconds doesn't give you much time to do that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members B-Complex Posted July 1, 2003 Author Members Share Posted July 1, 2003 Originally posted by guilded I don't know if I'd believe it was written in 45 seconds if you didn't tell me. They'd work very well in a song. They aren't particularily interesting, but I guess 45 seconds doesn't give you much time to do that I write my lyrics quickly so they don't sound overworked (at least to me) and so they have a sense of urgency. If I can't get the majority of a song down in about five minutes, I lose interest in it and it begins to sound labored to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members guilded Posted July 1, 2003 Members Share Posted July 1, 2003 I see your point. I enjoy a lot of songs like that, especially ones that have a deep/personal meaning but shown through more whimsical lyrics...if that's what I'm trying to say. Anyway, you definately have the lyrical ability. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members billsworld Posted July 1, 2003 Members Share Posted July 1, 2003 On first reading, what this reminds me of most is Beatnik poetry...short, disjointed lines delivered in rapid fire form. I like the way they express anger without taking it too seriously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members B-Complex Posted July 2, 2003 Author Members Share Posted July 2, 2003 Originally posted by billsworld On first reading, what this reminds me of most is Beatnik poetry...short, disjointed lines delivered in rapid fire form. I like the way they express anger without taking it too seriously. Beatnik poetry....I have never thought of it that way but now that I think of it, I see where you're coming from. Thanks a lot everyone for the feedback! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members FaFa Posted July 3, 2003 Members Share Posted July 3, 2003 that bane/insane line is too forced/cheesy/cliche...everything else is good stuff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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