Long time no listen...

Hey people,

Been away for a while.

Got some new songs that I could do with some feedback on.

Any comments, good or bad would be real welcome.

You can find them here:

My Songs

Cheers

FIN:wave:

er.. yes... bit of a streaming problem, will sort out and then I'll be back...

Sorry!

uffffff.

You only use Real Player?!?!?

I have RealPlayer on my computer, but there was a problem with the link.

I don't.. and I wanted to listen to the songs...

Sorry for the delay in getting back here but have fixed the page and now you should be able to stream the songs by clicking on the song names.

I have also embedded a media player in the page but this doesn't give the track names so it would be best just to click the song names and it should give you three songs to listen to. And I got rid of the Real player requirements too!

As I said at the top, any feedback, be it good, bad or just plain ugly would be useful.

Cheers all.

FIN

I'll Be Leaving Here With You:

I like the feel of the song, very groovy. My biggest issue is I feel the vocals are slightly buried in some parts, and they feel a little muffled. It feels almost as if the percussive parts of the vocals were removed, if you know what I mean. I like the song overall though, and it's very catchy. I found myself singing along to it by accident, so definetely really good, or I have a terrible taste in music =D

I Guess:

I felt that this song had a great atmospheric sound. The drum entrance felt like it was leading into a more powerful section at first, but then it died out. I suggest either tone down the percussion on its entrance or raise it during the rest of the song. The piano chords during the 2nd verse/chorus (not sure which) feel a little overpowering. I also think the vocals could use some harmony, it'd help strengthen the vocal track. The bass I think is a little to strong actually and could be pulled back a bit (decrease the attack, increase the sustain if possible). Without the percussion there to back it, it sounds a little glaring. Overall great work though, I'm being picky.

When I Try Hard:

Vocals too buried in the mix. The strings are stronger than the vocals. I also felt like this song was in the wrong key for your singing, it doesn't feel natural like the other 2 songs. (i'm assuming you're singing here). Definetely drop this song down a few pitches. I also feel that the vocals would be better down an octave too. Also, the bass side and and percussion I might've been hearing in there (there's a kickdrum I think, right?) are way too weak. The song lacks power, which could be gained by shifting back into a more comfortable vocal range and turning up the lower end to match the strings you have in there. Still a good song, but needs some reworking I think.

Overall good stuff and good recording quality. Is this solo stuff or did you record with a band/session musicians? I will say that the parts sound very tight together and clean, so great job there

Keep postin man, and good luck!

Hi Fingers. Great songs you got here. I agree with head3.. Your songs do seem to muffle your voice and I can see what he means by the pitch not being the best for you in "when I try hard". Other than that they sound great. I especially liked "I guess" very nice chill song. Also you might want to tweak your page or check it out because it took me like 6 tries to get the songs to work. It wouldn't play the song I clicked on.

What equipment do you use? The quality of the voice sounds amazing to me.

Wow.... I really like!

The whole arrangement is done perfectly.

I'll be leaving here with you sounds like something The Postal Service would create and throw in the radio as a single! Everything fits perfectly including your voice!

How are you filtering it?

For "I Guess" I definitely agree on the Bass sounding way too loud. Your voice sounds great! Why don't you bring it more upfront?

I'll listen to the last one in later ;-)

Wow, Cheers guys for the comments.

I haven't got long on here tonight but I'll try and address some of the comments:

Gear wise:

Mics: JoeMeek JM47 and SM57

All into Cubase SX via Delta 1010LT

Preamps from Mackie 1642 and JoeMeek VCQ3

Reverb/Delay TC Electronic M300 and SX plugins

Compression: SX onboard and dbx 266XL outboard

Pianos: Ivory

Not a lot else as I'm skint!

All the tracks were mixed in Cubase and on the mackie desk and then mastered in Cubase

It was all my work - I wrote, performed, recorded and mixed them all in my spare room.

Looks like I'll have to revisit the mixing though if the vocals are not comming through that well as I'm looking for a publishing deal for the songs.

Cheers for the comments everyone again, I'll take it all on board and anything that anyone else has to add.

FIN

PS still trying to get a decent streaming section to my web page, I'm no web designer you see so am struggling!

For some reason, I'm only able to listen to the first track. Great job!

I would just like to add that I enjoyed the first song very much. Couldn't get the rest to work, so I didn't listen, but the first song is very professional and I think you'll be successful in your goal of getting a publishing deal. Good work, man!

Agree with the mixing feedback to an extent, but at least on my laptop, it sounded fine. You may want to look into using soundclick or myspace. While it's admirable that you've put up your own website, it may be more reliable to use one of the commercial sites and it may get you more exposure...

Cheers again for all the positive feedback. :)

I registered lastnight on soundclick and will be putting my songs up there too.

I have to say, that the positive comments on my songs have really given me a kick into trying a bit harder again to get that elusive deal - was just starting to lose heart.

I'll let you all know when I'm on soundclick and hopefully you can listen to the rest of them.

Cheers,

FIN

Alex,

IBLHWU:

Ditto what others have said about the mix with regard to vocals. Of course, that's one of the hardest things to get right when working alone. The lyrics are a bit cliche for me, but not too cliche for the top 40, so who cares what I think.

Your voice is plenty good enough for indie rock (actually I like it alot), but that's obviously not what you're going for. It's not quite there for pop, but this forum is about songwriting so you probably know that.

I Guess:

Good structure, harmony and melody. I haven't listened to many songs on this forum yet, but these are the most skilled examples of songwriting I've heard so far. Not my fave style, but well done.

Try hard:

The range here is a bit high for you. The song is equal quality to the others.

The lyrics in the three songs, I have to admit, I find a bit grating... I prefer lyrics that have some imagery to them, without so many turns of phrase I've heard before.

Study some Dylan lyrics, some Stephen Malkmus lyrics, and some Shins lyrics. You're obviously talented, and I think you'll see what I mean and hopefully keep on improving your art.

The Shins write simple love and breakup songs like you have here, but they definitely make a conscious effort to avoid cliches and use striking imagery. For example, from their great, catchy song Kissing the Lipless (you can hear just from the title what I mean):

"But you've got too much to wear on your sleeves

It has too much to do with me

And secretly I want to bury in the yard

The grey remains of a friendship scarred"

Malkmus:

"Lip balm on watery clay,

relationships hey hey hey

you kiss like a rock

but you know i need it anyway

angle for the ringside seats

when they fall

dont blame me"

Nonsense, right? But memorable, wistful nonsense that always impresses me somehow.

Anyway, long story short, your composition skills are very good, but your songwriting (lyrics are most of songwriting, I think) needs work.

Lyyky

Thanks Lyyky,

Very uesful comments. I know exactly what you are saying with regard to the lyrics, I find those by far the hardest part of the song to write. I am working on trying to elimiate the cliches from the lyrics but I do find it hard.

Has anyone got any suggestions as to online resourses on where you can improve lyrical technique? Perhaps I'll put a seperate post up on that one...

Thanks again for the comments - they are helping more that you can imagine.

Perhaps I need to get teamed up with a writing partner who can do some better words.

FIN

Alex,

I realized 10 years ago that lyric-writing was not for me. I had been writing songs for 8 years at the time, and I had gotten good at all the other aspects, but not lyrics. I ended up getting a BA in Composition and then going to grad school for Comp as well (but I quit due to the faculty's complete detachment from the real world).

Nowadays, I have a partner who writes lyrics for me. This works extremely well. When we get some stuff recorded I will run it past you guys.