Short Instrumental 'Rain' - Any feedback? :)

Hey guys! First post / thread here! Really liking this site already.

Let me get something out of the way - I've only been attempting to record music for about 2 years now, so I still have TONS to learn about all aspects of the songwriting process. So this is only a hobby for now, unless I can find ways of improving

HERE: http://tindeck.com/listen/cbqd

I "finished" mastering a short piano-based track today called 'Rain', and I'm sharing it with you here today because I think it highlights both my strengths and my weaknesses. I think fundamentally, I'm better at the mixing / mastering stage of making music, than I am at forming the tune itself. So really the feedback I'm after would ideally be regarding the song writing itself, because that's the area that I know I really have to work on.

One of the main issues I have is combining certain 'ideas' into a coherent, flowing track. Sometimes I can have two or three ideas that I KNOW somehow, can be combined into a full track if done right. But I seem to always fail at this - either the track ends up sounding contrived and forced, or I end up booting certain sections altogether, usually resulting in what I call a half-song, which is usually a lot shorter than originally planned and lacks variety (my computer it littered with these half formed songs). 'Rain' in my opinion, falls into the latter category of being a half-song. Usually I'd just leave it as it is, but what's really frustrating about this one is that I feel that it's on the verge of being something quite good if only I could flesh it out a bit. So I was just wondering if anyone could please give it a listen and share their thoughts on maybe how to make the most out of the ideas presented here

Note - I know, my piano playing skills are very basic, as I never took lessons. It's partly why I'm such a FL Studio junkie now - its a fast and easy way of getting your ideas into an audible format without having to tackle the issue of sucking at playing a particular instrument

Anyway I like to blab. Any and all thoughts are welcome, and especially ideas on how to flesh it out a bit more. I can also post other half-songs I've done over the last few months to show you what I mean if anyone is interested.

Very nice work! The buildup and crescendo fading into piano was very well done, and to great effect. I think it stands on its own as an enjoyable piece.

To extend it, you could, of course, come up with something entirely new and do some surgery, or you could build on one of the other musical themes (you had quite a few going on), transpose it, play it backwards, play it on a kazoo, or what else you can imagine. Maybe I've just stated the obvious.

Haha, cheers Wolf! I have to say I am tempted to leave it as it is, but I've done that with so many of my previous ideas that I feel I'm just being lazy about adding stuff I actually recorded two other piano melodies along with the ones you hear in this version that actually compliment the theme quite well, and I've only experimented a little with adding those ideas in somewhere. If I successfully make it longer, I'll certainly post that newer version so people can compare the two and say which one they prefer. Thanks for your feedback!

No music on the link to listen to...sorry

Oops, sorry! Updated the link above, try again: http://tindeck.com/listen/cbqd

Some really good stuff you have going on...you need to mellow out the mix a bit and take the harshness off...the drums were kind of annoying...I think you were going for thunder...yep...sounded like thunder alright...good job!!

Haha yes, glad you noticed the thunder . I think I see your point about the drums... can I ask though, what part of the drums did you find annoying? The kick drum, the snare? Or do I just need to reduce the volume of the high end a bit? Cheers for the feedback.

The kick...it rumbled more than thundered...its cool though...its artistic:)

Ah ok... yeah, that would be the deep reverb I added to it . I'm still a bit of a novice with EQing drums, too - I have to constantly keep listening to other songs of a similar style to hear how things have been balanced, but it's tricky to get just right that's for sure.

I love this!!!

So many great melodies in there. This is really beautiful.