How do you know when people are giving “proper” feedback?

I’ve been putting my song bits and clips around the place for some feedback, just from various friends and people online on this forum, and the latest friend to comment (at my request) has said the music wasn’t what she was expecting, but some of it could be quite catchy with some refinement. Ok, fine. I can dig that. But then she’s sent me one of her songs…I didn’t know she did music, and I guess it’s not quite the same as what I want to do, cause it’s Christian music. She’s pretty religious and involved in her church, and she, her older sister and older brother, have done these songs…and she asked me for feedback. So I listened, and oh dearie me. lol. I’m not religious myself at all, but have respect for people who are cause that’s their choice, and I respect my friend, and I am open to all music regardless of its content or purpose…but it wasn’t that good, even with me trying hard to be objective.

So I wrote back focusing on the stuff I didn’t mind about it, like the guitar melody was quite nice, sort of folk-oriented, and the voices were nice (which they were, but put together they were shrill and overly classical in my opinion) and the lyrics were nice (which they were in the parts I could hear. The majority were muffled due to the speed they were sung at and the shrillness of the voices)…so. What if when she wrote about my stuff, she was doing the exact same thing and she hated them? lol. How do you...extract the value from any person’s feedback, you know? Even if they have completely different motives and interests in their music to you?

Well, if her music was lame, and you couldn't find much in it even if you tried, then forget about what she said. Maybe she only really has an interest in a few genres? There's all kinds of niches out there, and there's a million fans for one style. Don't be discouraged from making what your heart tells you is right.

Well, if it's a friend of yours and she doesnt want to hurt your feelings, and she lets you down easy pretty much, that's how you know she's not really diggin it.

It shouldnt really matter what one persone thinks, or if 1000 people dont like it, as long as you concentrate on the ones who do like it. I know having a negative comment can be hurtfull at times, but you have to look at the positive comments.

Well, when it comes to technique, you should only ask for feedback from one group of people: those that know what they're talking about. That would include singers who have solved their own vocal issues, (some) choral directors, and vocal coaches. When it comes to style, you should only listen to people who love the style you want to sing in. As for your friend, although she demonstrates the same vocal habit, that doesn't necessarily negate her feedback. I can recognize when other singers are pushing too much; I do it myself all the time. You might both just be a little on the shrill side. Best thing to do is listen to a recording of yourself and settle it with your own ears.

For an example of how to interpret feedback from well-meaning, uninformed strangers, see my post in this thread:

http://acapella.harmony-central.com/showthread.php?t=2355987

Well...yes, I understand only listening to people who make stuff along the same lines as you, or who already have accomplished what you want to...but then...

(1) If ever I want my music heard by the general public, well...they're not only going to like my style of music, are they? I need an unbiased (not in terms of people who know me, but I mean in terms of people who have no pre-existing musical leanings towards my specific type of music) opinion.

(2) You think my voice is shrill?! I don't!

Grace,

here's what you can do. Choose your best song and some other songs (by different artists) in the same genre and ask people to compare them. Say you're doing a research or something like that. The most important thing is not to choose people who know you and not to mention that one of the songs is yours. Also, try to ask A LOT of DIFFERENT people so the results will be representative.

Grace - I'll try to be nice here because I want to be patient. But I am also going to be honest, as usual. Your voice sounds great. It has a pelasant timber and tone to it, and you have show quite a bit of improvement since I have started coming here. You should start playing out, as I think people will like what you bring to the table.

But you really gotta work on being more confident about your voice. You already have skills in singing that most people don't even have a clue about.

To answer your original question on Feedback...

Just listen to what people tell you. If you disagree with their opinion, then disagree with it. But don't let it go to heart or get you down. If they say something like "you sound shrill"...examine your singing for shrillness. If you find some, figure out why it's there. If you don't (I don't hear it in your voice), then just know that it was what they heard, but you don't agree.

I write CD reviews for the local fan-zine. Usually 2 local artsist CD's a month. I write honest reviews, and have a great deal of cred for that. Some people hate me after their review, some love me. But regardless, I am always honest about the facts. (whatsupmagazine.com search for Brian Fannin to read some of my reviews)

So, I say to you...you sound great, get out in public and sing.

Well, if ever the general public hear your music, then the ones into what you're doing stylistically will hear it, get into it, and listen to it. Those that aren't into your style will hear it and, likely, ignore it. For example, a very good friend of mine is a complete metal-head. Complete. Does not listen to anything softer than Metallica. (With the notable exception of his drunken habit of dumping money into the jukebox to hear Meatloaf's "Paradise by the Dashboard Light.") Now, I'm simply not going to ask his opinion of an acoustic tune I've written. Because regardless of how good or bad the song is, his response will be, "Eh. Not my thing." If you want to write gangsta rap, you ask the opinions of people who are into gangsta rap. If you want to know how your jazz vocals sound, you ask people into vocal jazz. If you want to write eclectically and break new ground, you ask the opinion of people you know to be aesthetically open-minded. If you want to write folk, you don't the guy solely into gangsta rap, because he wouldn't listen to your folk song anyways. My point is, you should identify people to ask for feedback based on what they have to offer to your specific goals. If you are working within a specific genre, the opinion of someone who has no preference for that genre tells you more about that genre's popularity than your individual aptitude for the genre. Also, your music is likely to reach people on the local level based on what venues you play, and the venues you play will likely be dictated by the management's feel for the tastes of their cliental.

No! I read your post in which your friend was "doing the same thing" to mean singing shrilly. Rereading I think you meant she might have been sugarcoating her opinion? Misunderstanding. It was late last night when I posted...

Hey, knock it off! I've got dibs on "shrill™", "thin™", and "unpleasant™" around here!

http://acapella.harmony-central.com/showpost.php?p=36087966&postcount=11

Still burnin from that one, eh?

No burn here, my friend. wert is a known troll from OJ land, so I knew what was up.

I think it's pretty funny, otherwise I wouldn't keep drawing attention to it.

Oh dear. I actually meant not just about my voice. I think I posted this is in the wrong area of the forum. I meant my overall SONGS I’d written, and hardly any even have a voice on them. That’s what I meant by feedback, not vocally, but overall song. Oops!

Heheh re the shrill. lol

Well, the songs sound really nice to MY ears.. I can't write music worth a damn anyway.