Members rhino55 Posted March 3, 2015 Members Share Posted March 3, 2015 Another piano song! Should it be "You can't hold somebody that want's to be held by somebody else" in the chorus or does "woman" work? Any input is of course also welcome. Not Much of a Fighter http://www.soundclick.com/player/sin...=13065706&q=hi I'm not much of a fighterWhy does this have to be so intenseIt's not who I amIt's what I'm up against I'm more of a loverBut lately I'm not getting the chanceThe good times are goneAnd so is the romance You can't fix somebodyThey have to fix themselvesYou can't hold a woman that wants to be heldby somebody else I can be stubbornI'm real good at holding onTo a hope that'sLong since gone I want to be understandingBut the words don't make any senseCoupled with these actionsAre where I take offense You can't fix somebodyThey have to fix themselvesYou can't hold a woman that wants to be heldby somebody else Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeonardScaper Posted March 3, 2015 Members Share Posted March 3, 2015 You can't fix somebodyThey have to fix themselvesYou can't hold a woman that wants to be heldby somebody else Good stuff there....I like this tune a lot. Perfect delivery as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhino55 Posted March 4, 2015 Author Members Share Posted March 4, 2015 Thanks Lenny. After listening back the first time the 5 chord shows up in the verse wasn't sitting right for me. Adding a D# in the bass makes it sit much better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted March 4, 2015 Members Share Posted March 4, 2015 Likewise - I really like the tune. The lyric too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted March 4, 2015 Members Share Posted March 4, 2015 Nice. It really works on the piano. I have a couple of suggestions lyrically. The chorus (which is really great, overall): You can't fix somebodywhen they can't fix themselvesYou can't hold a woman that wants to be heldby somebody else And this verse doesn't work for me. It's kind of filler, plus it's too, I don't know, cerebral? Not visceral. The first two lines are good, but the second ones? Not so much. I want to be understandingBut the words don't make any senseCoupled with these actionsAre where I take offense I would like to see you do something with the phrase "straddle the fence..." for the last line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhino55 Posted March 4, 2015 Author Members Share Posted March 4, 2015 Thanks fellas. LCK, I think right about the last verse. Would this work? I want to be understanding But the words no longer make sense theres two sides and I'm tired of straddling this fence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted March 5, 2015 Members Share Posted March 5, 2015 Thanks fellas. LCK, I think right about the last verse. Would this work? I want to be understanding But the words no longer make sense theres two sides and I'm tired of straddling this fence Yeah, something like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mbfrancis Posted March 7, 2015 Members Share Posted March 7, 2015 This is outstanding, great work.Agree w/ LCK on "coupled" line, not sure of the fence solution.I wish the start of the chorus had a slightly different melodic rhythm than the verses, maybe straight 8th notes. "and YOU can't FIX some-BOD-y"....a thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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