Members rickidoo Posted April 16, 2012 Members Share Posted April 16, 2012 These are the lyrics for the April Stick Challenge. It's a sort of nursery rhyme. Any thoughts on them? Thanks! Three. (revised, including a title change)©2012 Rick Dieffenbach Morning, morning a new day, dawningas daddy bakesand mommy wakes baby playstoys on his trayhe laughs out louda happy child There was a time when all they knew was just me and me A morning strollis never oldWith baby thereand mommy's care There was a time when all they knew was just me and meAnd then there were three...three...a family Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stickboymusic Posted April 16, 2012 Members Share Posted April 16, 2012 Maybe you could say as daddy bakes and mommy wakes bring it up to date Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rickidoo Posted April 16, 2012 Author Members Share Posted April 16, 2012 STICK - DONE! THANKS. That is wicked good. Rick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted April 16, 2012 Members Share Posted April 16, 2012 What does "without a warning" mean in this context? I'm not a fan of "baby talk" and "to get the babe". There have to be more colorful ways to put it. Personally, I'm not feeling verses. I really like the chorus idea, and bet it would sound cool, but the verses feel more like filler to me. I also think you should get "and then there were three" into the first chorus as that is the hook of the song, as far as I can tell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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