Local Scene "Lameness"...

Allright. Need some advice. Im not sure how everyone elses scene is, but im sure its probably the same. My band plays alot of local shows... bars, all ages whatever. We play out of state usually, and tour as much as possible. We are nice to all the other bands, and make a real effort to be cool to everyone. Im not sure if it is resentment, or what... but for some reason we keep hearing about people telling everyone we are dicks. It wouldnt really bother me, execpt that we dont even know the people who are telling others this. It's bizarre. Its like band x, says you guys are assholes... and we have never met anyone in band x, dont know them, have never talked to them and have no idea who in the hell they are etc... im not super bothered by it, but want to know what you think we should do?

1) Make an effort to find out who is telling everyone this {censored}, and attempt to rectify it.

or

2) Screw it, you dont even know them... you know you werent dicks etc... and just ignore it.

I just want the best "PR" solution for our band. Im not sure it can ever be avoided, but I dont want people we have never met to tell everyone they know we are dicks. Its aggrivating, and makes one never want to play local shows due to the gay ass politics of it all....

The more progress you make, the bigger dick you're going to be in the eyes of those less motivated, less talented, and less intelligent than you and your band. It's the only way they can make themselves try to look bigger in the eyes of other people, by tearing you down. Don't sweat it. As I said before, success is the best revenge. I went through that for a couple of years, and now so many people I meet say stuff like "Wow, I heard you were really stuck up" or "I always got the impression you thought you were all that, but you're not like that at all." Just hang in there, do what you do, and don't get drawn into their petty jealousy. Don't let this kind of stuff distract you from your goal. You'll be fine!

Just my opinion, of course...

thanks so much strat. you hit it right on the head. i have had that exact conversation with like 97 people...

"wow, you are really cool... i heard from this guy you dont even know that you were stuck up"... I appreciate the response. I have been wracking my brain tryin to figure out how we wronged some of these people, but it is just what you said. us being more motivated, and less lazy... I have no fear that success will be the best revenge! thanks...

Off the top of my head, music is one of the few things I can think of at the moment where you are cursed for being rewarded. One of the original members of my band way back when we start quit shortly into the band because he thought I was an asshole. At the time, this really bothered me because I go to great efforts to take care of the rest of my boys. We're all brothers and we have a good bond. I even really supported this guy and took his back when some other assholes in the local scene starting ripping on him really bad on our local message board. He had sent me a PM that said, "Thank you, by the way."

Then suddenly, he ims me and was like "I quit." and that was it. Come to find out he thought I was an asshole he couldn't put up with anymore. We were all kind of shocked and we all thought he could have left the band in a better manner. But the point of this whole story is, an elder in the music biz was talking to me and he said something to the extent of "you know it's funny how if you're really motivated and have a serious drive to do something with your music, when you're more serious about it than other people, that you're an asshole." And after hearing that, I just let everything rest.

So as you said, Blues Strat did point it out directly. The fact of the matter is, a band is a HARD thing to do. You're making yourself more vulnerable than you do in a lot of daily activites to draw (sometimes very harsh) criticism and opposition, even when you don't warrant it. Most of the times, this is simply for being "talented" or "successful."

I've always said if you're in a band, you must love to be loved and love to be hated. It just never seems right that the more people that like you the more people that hate you as well.

However, sometimes we don't think our own actions are as bad as other make them out to be, as in we're self-minimalists. Maybe it is a type of a situation where you truly don't think you are assholes but that's clearly what you're coming off to other people. Try deeply evaluating yourselves. At shows, how do you walk in? What do you say? How do you act towards others? What do you wear? If you truly think you're in the clear on all of these, then it is mostly (probably anyways) another band talking smack about you.

I can identify with you very closely in this situation. Our very first show that my band ever played brought a record attendance to the venue and packed the house that we were playing at. There was a [REALLY] bad punk/ska/rock band after us. Where the resentment started was based on the fact that all of those people were there for us, because unfortunately, after we were done playing, the venue really cleared out. That is one thing we really try to encourage fans NOT to do. (usually when we advertise shows we don't say which band's going first so the fans don't try to come later if they know we're playing last or something). My band stayed and watched these guys though. Then there was a huge buzz on the local message board, and everyone was talking about this new band called "Parallex" and "this show they played at the Boheme" and nothing was mentioned about this other band. That is prime breeding grounds for resentment, and it was nothing other than resentment in its purest form. Then I'd hear from mutual friends of mine and members of the other band that they were saying bad stuff about us, claiming we make fun of them and stuff. That was bull{censored}, and it was really too bad as well, because we went to their practice before this show (as they requested) and listened to them, gave them opinions, suggestions, critiques etc. i even offered to record them for free, for god sakes. And this is the crap we get.

I finally just said, "you know what? {censored} you. If you want to think we hate you, then go ahead and think that. If you want to burn a perfectly intact bridge and lessen your pool of friends, support, and contacts, then go ahead and do that. It's no loss to me."

Oh, and success IS the best revenge. My band had a lot of hatred with the love when we first started. There was a lot of people saying we wouldn't ever do things that we've been long doing. and it feels AWESOME!

I've gone through the EXACT same {censored} recently. Pay no attention to it, as your 'arrogance' is a fabrication within their own heads to justify their lack of success, and your obvious achievement of it.

My piece of advice: Go into a gig with a "{censored} em all!" attitude and play your best each time. After the show of course, the people that like you are cool, but the people that think you're dicks or stuck up or whatever, {censored} em. Just keep doing what you're doing and don't let people bring you down.

Well I'm glad I'm not the only one and I'm very happy to see this thread.

I'm going through something very similar.

We started playing out this year. Got some really good response from regular people and what not so we recorded a couple good quality songs and built a website.

Hit some of the local message boards just looking for a response from some of the local bands around here and I get nothing. No good words, no offers to open, {censored}, not even any bad words. Basiclly we are ignored.

I don't get it really. I've been more than nice to everyone, Our music is ok in my book, I don't portray like we are the best band around or anything.

bah, time to start planning {censored} myself.

It sucks, I've never viewed music as a competitive thing.

Keep on truckin I say:)

these two statements are in conflict with each other. I'm not trying to be an ass at all; i think your approach is wrong. Either the way you word your posts turns people away (ie you say, check out our band's new music, it really rocks!)

People that pop in on their first post, say "check out our stuff" and are gone forever are often ignored as well. That is taboo.

Or else these message boards are completely apathetic, in which they wouldn't post criticisms to any songs.

Or else your music completely sucks and they don't care enough to even say bad {censored} about it. I don't know a lot of bands who think their music sucks.

If the latter is the true reason, perhaps you may need to reevaluate something you are doing.