Members chick korea Posted September 19, 2007 Members Share Posted September 19, 2007 I m a little SAd Becuase I WAnt to go to advance piano CLases but i know that it will require that i Read a lot .!! and my eyes really hurts when i read for a long period . ( Please guys . a little respect no jokes please , guys please please please please no jokes .) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BonsoWonderDog Posted September 19, 2007 Members Share Posted September 19, 2007 How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? Shine a flashlight in her ear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BonsoWonderDog Posted September 19, 2007 Members Share Posted September 19, 2007 A man left work one Friday afternoon. Being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spent his entire paycheck. When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally, his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" To which he replied, "That would be fine with me." Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pighood Posted September 19, 2007 Members Share Posted September 19, 2007 A mole, a brine shrimp, and Helen Keller walk into a bar... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BonsoWonderDog Posted September 19, 2007 Members Share Posted September 19, 2007 Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? Because they don't have balls to scratch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BonsoWonderDog Posted September 19, 2007 Members Share Posted September 19, 2007 A guy walks past a mental hospital and hears a moaning voice " ... 13 ... 13 ... 13 ... ". The man looked over to the hospital and saw a hole in the wall, he looked through the hole and gets poked in the eye. The moaning voice then groaned " ... 14 ... 14 ... 14 ... ". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Diametro Posted September 19, 2007 Members Share Posted September 19, 2007 I m a little SAd Becuase I WAnt to go to advance piano CLases but i know that it will require that i Read a lot .!! and my eyes really hurts when i read for a long period .( Please guys . a little respect no jokes please , guys please please please please no jokes .) Study jazz piano ... from what I understand, you don't have to read that stuff as much ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BonsoWonderDog Posted September 19, 2007 Members Share Posted September 19, 2007 A man is eating in a fancy restaurant, and there is a gorgeous blond eating at the next table. He has been checking her out all night, but lacks the nerve to go talk to her. Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of her socket towards the man. He reflexively grabs and snatches it out of the air. "Oh my god, I am sooo sorry, " the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you." They enjoy a wonderful dinner together and afterwards the woman invites him back to her place for a drink. They go back to her house, and after a bit she leads him into the bedroom and begins undressing him. The couple have wild passionate sex over and over all night. The next morning when he awakens, she has already gotten up and brings him breakfast in bed. The guy is amazed. "You know, you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet." "No, she replies.... (Wait for it....) (It's coming.............) (The suspense is killing you ........) "You just happened to catch my eye." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ChasIII Posted September 19, 2007 Members Share Posted September 19, 2007 I would have all my music scanned and run through a big screen tv thru my computer. Or just play scanned music from a computer and increase the scale of resolution with a 23 inch monitor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BonsoWonderDog Posted September 19, 2007 Members Share Posted September 19, 2007 Patient to the eye doctor: "Whenever I drink coffee, I have this sharp, excruciating pain." "Try to remember to remove the spoon from the cup before drinking." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BonsoWonderDog Posted September 19, 2007 Members Share Posted September 19, 2007 A man goes to the eye doctor. The receptionist asks him why he is there. The man complains, "I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes."The receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen a doctor?" and the man replies, "No, just spots." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BonsoWonderDog Posted September 19, 2007 Members Share Posted September 19, 2007 Enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pink floyd cramer Posted September 20, 2007 Members Share Posted September 20, 2007 Anyone here have really {censored}ty hearing but still have to gig to supplement their income? Sorry about your bad eyesight chick but there are worse disabilities for a musician. I used to go to school with a totally blind guy who had to learn his Bach and Mozart by listening to tapes. He played a mean jazz piano, by the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Umbra Posted September 20, 2007 Members Share Posted September 20, 2007 Play by ear..... duh.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members eminor9 Posted September 20, 2007 Members Share Posted September 20, 2007 Stevie Wonder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members yody Posted September 20, 2007 Members Share Posted September 20, 2007 I m a little SAd Becuase I WAnt to go to advance piano CLases but i know that it will require that i Read a lot .!! and my eyes really hurts when i read for a long period .( Please guys . a little respect no jokes please , guys please please please please no jokes .) it's all in your head Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members keanu reeves Posted September 20, 2007 Members Share Posted September 20, 2007 a chineese man walks into the optometrist and the optometrist tells him "i have some bad news for you.. you have a cataract.." the chineese man says "no i don't, i have a rincon continenturl." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gribs Posted September 20, 2007 Members Share Posted September 20, 2007 True story about eyes, not a joke, but it does illustrate the stupidity and lack of consideration some people have for other people: My uncle is an opthalmologist. He specializes in refractive surgery, but also treats people with various eye diseases on a general basis http://www.wheatoneye.com/doctors/p_brazis.htm One time at a family dinner, he told us about a patient that he had seen who had a very contagious eye infection (probably just bacterial pink eye or some similar infection, but at the time I didn't ask). He prescribed the appropriate antibiotic medication and also very explicitly instructed her to avoid public places where there are lots of people gathered because she could easily transfer her infection to others. The next day my uncle had the day off, and he took my cousin (his daughter) to Six Flags Great America amusement park. On a busy day in this large park with thousands of people, he ran into the same woman he had instructed to stay away from people for a several days. :| Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pogo97 Posted September 20, 2007 Members Share Posted September 20, 2007 Chick: I worked with a blind music student in university helping him translate the assignments into braille. There is braille music notation. Perhaps you should look into it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chick korea Posted September 20, 2007 Author Members Share Posted September 20, 2007 True story about eyes, not a joke, but it does illustrate the stupidity and lack of consideration some people have for other people: My uncle is an opthalmologist. He specializes in refractive surgery, but also treats people with various eye diseases on a general basis http://www.wheatoneye.com/doctors/p_brazis.htm One time at a family dinner, he told us about a patient that he had seen who had a very contagious eye infection (probably just bacterial pink eye or some similar infection, but at the time I didn't ask). He prescribed the appropriate antibiotic medication and also very explicitly instructed her to avoid public places where there are lots of people gathered because she could easily transfer her infection to others. The next day my uncle had the day off, and he took my cousin (his daughter) to Six Flags Great America amusement park. On a busy day in this large park with thousands of people, he ran into the same woman he had instructed to stay away from people for a several days. :| what???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why didnt he git her with a base ball bat?? to that retard lady.!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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