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Could use some feedback on a track: Iceberg Friend (pAReNtaL AdVIsoRy)


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Some of you might remember the original version of this that i did for a monthly mission a few years ago, entirely on Virsyn Cantor... i've been meaning to do a proper version of it since then, and finally got round to it.

 

I guess motivating myself to do some halloween music last night also got me going to start finishing this track up... but i could use some feedback, as there a bunch of stuff i'm not sure about.

 

Mostly i'm worried it's a bit too busy and.or it a bit patchy as well... i'd planned on keeping it close to the original which was fairly radiophonic rather than particularly composed.

 

Everything that isn't cantor is either Doepfer modular or Memotron. Effects are either soft or Lexicon MX300.

 

This track has adult content, and may be unsuitable for those with a nut allergy:

 

Iceberg Friend

 

Any thoughts on the track appreciated.

 

 

Lyrics below, as cantor inevitabubbly mangles them:

 

I want to see through your eyes

Watch every tear i cried

I want to look into your heart

See every fear denied

 

I want to r*pe you, I want to f*ck you up inside

I want to kill you, I want to die

 

Touching six long leagues from here

The shadow of my hatred towers

The finest gift i got from you

A wasps nest made of paper flowers

On the wrong side of the looking glass

My teacher's gidt profound

With tears that turn to vapour

Before they touch the group

 

Bait me, Use me, Point me, Shoot me

 

All your love like chloroform

Incendiary no joke

And all the ones who hide beneath my wings

Who haven't smelt the smoke

Passion spent my iceberg friend

I must embrace quality suffering lest

I cast out my personal demons

And wonder if there's anything left

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Hope you're feeling better. :wave:

 

I was craving some bass. Big fat drums (those big Japanese ones would be nice). One of the synths was nice and squelchy--could you use that voice for a deep bass?

 

I'd also like more contrast in the B section (bait me etc.).

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i'd actually like to hear this with you singing, but i think the track is accomplishing its goals.

 

 

Have you heard my singing... it's bloody awful!

 

 

Hope you're feeling better.

 

 

well certainly a lot better and a lot less {censored}ed up than i was when i wrote this one!

 

 

I was craving some bass. Big fat drums (those big Japanese ones would be nice). One of the synths was nice and squelchy--could you use that voice for a deep bass?

 

 

I might try the drum idea out... sounds like something the track is lacking.

 

Which synth sound are you thinking out? The bit that cuts across under the verse parts? I tried that an octave lower but it threatens to turn to rumble? or did you mean another bit?

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Which synth sound are you thinking out? The bit that cuts across under the verse parts? I tried that an octave lower but it threatens to turn to rumble? or did you mean another bit?

 

 

The tenor voice that enters at about 1:38. It may well turn to mud, but I particularly like its onset.

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