Writing better lyrics, Chapter 1, lesson 1

[cool_E]

Well, We did get a few takers. Nin4269, rachigator & FilthyK.

 

As I hope you'll quickly see the lessons & exercises force

you to write.

 

Here goes...

------------------------------------------------

Pat opens the book with a brief illustration

that points out that each of us are unique, with

memories and experiences totally unique to

us. We need to draw from our individual experiences.

Pat calls this "deep diving."

Lesson 1 is called object writing. The purpose

is to spend time writing about your unique

memories, experiences, associations and view of

an object. You need to explore the object using all

your 7 senses (yes 7!). Pat explains that in

addition to the 5 senses; sight, sound, touch,

taste & smell, there are Organic and Kinesthetic.

 

Organic is described as an awareness of your

inner bodily functions, heartbeat, muscle tension,

cramps, breathing etc.

 

Kinesthetic is your sense of relation to the

outside world around. Pat describes it in several

ways, the sensation after spinning until you're

dizzy, being in a still train whn the train

beside you is moving.

 

---------------------------

The exercise: OBJECT WRITING

 

Pick an object at random and spend 10 minutes,

NO MORE, writing about it. You don't need to rhyme

or even write in complete sentences. You do need

to explore the object using all 7 senses. Pat

calls it being "sense-bound."

 

Pat explains that limiting yourself to 10 minutes

will, in the long run, help you to be able to

find your unique voice and vision easily and

quickly when you sit down to write.

 

There are examples in the book.

 

So, each day, for 1 week, spend 10 minutes

object writing, you pick the object then write

about it and describe your memories, experiences,

associations and feelings using all of your 7

senses.

 

Feel free to post them here for discussion and

sharing (no critiques).

 

Lesson 2, next week, will be group object

writing. I'll pick the object and we'll

each spend 10 minutes (no more) writing

about it.

==========================================

 

--------------------

 

Dave

[cool_E]

I love the feel of the wind in my face as I descend a hill. I watch the road speed by beneath me, feeling the unevenness in the road transferred through the spinning wheels and metal frame to my body. I shake and bounce, holding on tightly, adjusting my balance, shifting my weight millisecond by millisecond. As I rush through the air my body causes the air around me to move violently, as in a storm or as milk poured into a cup of coffee. It sounds like I

[Saint Frank]

I'm going to print this and try it when I get home. Thanks.

[Kestral]

cool_E - you know what would be neat, if you were to choose an object, start a new thread with the title "Lesson 1: Apple" ("Apple" being whatever object you choose) and everyone posts what they wrote just to see what everyone comes up with and then we can critique and discuss the results. What does everyone think about this?

[cool_E]

Kestral,

 

That's next week's lesson! Perhaps we'll start on it early

if this thread starts to drop off the bottom of the front page.

 

Dave

[thelonius74]

great book. helped me tremendously.

[Kestral]

Originally posted by cool_E Kestral, That's next week's lesson! Perhaps we'll start on it early if this thread starts to drop off the bottom of the front page. Dave

 

Dave,

 

Considering how slow the forums here are, this thread will probably be at the middle of the page by next week But seriously, it's an interesting exercise, and despite having my own methods of doing things that work, I think I can gain a lot from this and really appreciate you taking the time to help us all out! If you need anything, let me know, but I'd love to participate in these lessons!

[cool_E]

Kestral,

 

Consider yourself signed up!

 

BTW, do you ride one of your namesakes?

 

Dave

[cool_E]

Did anybody do the exercise?

 

Do you want to post your 10 minutes worth?

 

Do you want to discuss the exercise? Any

comments at all?

 

We're supposed to do 10 minutes per day. Pat also

suggests that the 10 minutes be first thing in the

morning.

[cool_E]

7:45 AM

 

I hold the guitar in my hands, it's curved body fits against

my own. The wood of the neck is smooth, my hand slides

easily from one end to the other. My fingers caress the strings.

My fingertips are thickly calloused, yet I can feel the roughness

of the lower strings and the razor sharpness of the high

E and B. As I strum a simple chord I am showered by

sweet reverberations of sound. My ears are flooded with

deep warm tones of wood & steel. The guitar dances as

it sings, it's vibrations enter me where ever I touch the

instrument, my hand against the neck, my arm cradled

over the body, my leg supporting the body, my chest against

the back.

 

As the guitar sings my heart beats in time. Soon my hands,

feet and breath are moving in rhythm with the dancing

strings. My right hand beating like a drum, my left squeezing,

shifting, sliding, changing position with speed and instinct

gained through years of practice.

 

7:55 AM STOP

[rachigator]

organic

kinesthetic

sight

sound

touch

taste

smell

 

 

A warm day rests easily upon my weary shoulders. My backaches from standing up all day and my brow furrows with evening thought. The curtains are drawn closed, giving the room a dampened sunlight. The standard issue chair doesn't offer much comfort to my tired body, but the slight breeze is more than welcome. A thin film of perspiration thickens the grime on my face... a cheap food joint in the mall doesn't exactly compliment any type of skin.

 

I sigh as a release of body tension and it feels quite gratifying. The click and clack of the keys beneath my calloused fingertips is routine as I check my email (only to find porn and credit card offers) and chat with a friend. Unusually, today I find myself watching my fingers manuever the keyboard. My pale hands stand out abruptly against the black and purple background. I remember that I have been typing since the fourth grade and begin to revisit those early years as I observe the nimble extremities. I would type a paper for school, well, only about half of it. Soon I would tire of paying attention to my own fingers and the words on the screen simultaneously. I'd hand the task over to my dad, he would always finish quicker than I thought possible.

 

I also remember Mavis Beacon. My dad bought me her computer program sometime during this period. It was a basic typing tutor, a mixture of exercises and games. I never did the exercises unless I excelled, but I always finished a game. Well, unless I was doing poorly.

 

Now, I find it pointless to look at the letters on the keys. It's almost a subconcious thing. I find myself typing an email and holding a conversation concurrently, successfully expressing two completely different trains of thought at once. Something I find odd, seeing as how I can barely stay focused on one topic for a long while. I blame that on self-diagnosed ADD.

 

Ahh, bother. Who needs to be good at typing anyhow? Especially when one such as I has a spelling ability far greater than normal.

[thelonius74]

 

Originally posted by Son of God Rote me a Song i rote me a song its deep and intence it uses lots of werds an' i think it makes sence at least my girlfreind likes it and she gives me good hed hay hay dudes, i rote me a song i rote me a song and its possted for u its got a heavy beet an' a lot a tapping 2 it tells u how i feel when i'm feelin kinda blew I evun rote a bridge and it goes like this: oh the dark joy of eternal knight that guides my delicious luv for your sudden grace dont not tempt my fate with your banisshed aura for you have smiten My questhood i rote me a song and it has a sus4 it has a couple solo's it could prolly use more its a cross between iron man and the batle of Evermore hay hay dudes i rote me a song i rote me a song its deep and intence it uses lots of werds an' i think it makes sence at least my girlfreind likes it and she gives me good hed hay hay dudes, i rote me a song

 

 

I don't mean to sound ignorant if that's a famous song or whatever...but I've never seen it..did you write that?

 

If so congratulations...I think it's absolutely brilliant.

[thelonius74]

This is exactly what I said.

 

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

You know it's funny...das nichts has the attitude of a lot of people. In fact an attitude I myself have once held in my life. I don not anymore. I used to think songs were of pure inspiration so I would sit around waiting for them to come to me.

 

It doesn't work like that. It is a craft. It needs to be worked on and honed, so when you do get the inspiration you know what to do with it.

 

Do you think Bob Dylan does not have exercises and processes that he goes through in order to get his songs to the point that he likes them. You're fooling yourself if you think he doesn't.

 

Just as if he were a piano player, he has to practice.

 

I would challenge that if someone 'just writes' their songs could probably use a good deal of improvement, and I would also ask if your answer is to 'just write' as opposed to taking advice from people who know more than you...then what are you doing in a songwriting forum?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't think there is anything degrading in that post, I unfortunately cannot say the same regarding the post that it was responding to.

 

Nowhere in there did I accuse you of not knowing anything about songwriting, so please do not come into this thread making up things about me.

 

The post in question was of course written under a different moniker..that of das nichts and I also notice that it is no longer a part of that thread. Was this Scott Jones's doing or was this your own?

[cool_E]

Originally posted by rachigator A warm day rests easily upon my weary shoulders...

 

Thanks rach, good job. I was going to use computer

for the group exercise. I guess I've got to find something

else.

[rachigator]

 

Originally posted by cool_E Thanks rach, good job. I was going to use computer for the group exercise. I guess I've got to find something else.

 

 

Well, thank you. And I hope that we can keep going on the computer. I think it would be best for everyone here... everyone gets to see everyone's work as well as receive feedback. I think it's most beneficial, even if we have to wade through unrelated discussion. (Which, I may request be quelled for the sake of the few who want to partake in these exercises.)

 

But thanks all the same!

[thelonius74]

Well, maybe I'm wrong about Dylan and maybe you're right...I got that from an interview I have with him.

 

I may have suggested you need improvement, but that's not saying you don't know anything about songwriting. I don't think that there's anyone who couldn't use improvement. And what I was trying to say is that it's why we're here. So we can learn from each other. Not so we can learn to write, so we can take what we know as writers and share with each other.

 

 

There are exercises that work for me in my songwriting. If it doesn't work for you, then that's fine...but to suggest that it doesn't help anyone else is simply incorrect.

 

 

 

[BryanMichael]

I can't resist posting.

Overall, I've found Thelonious to be a helpful and honest member of these forums. Son of God seems to be a troll however.

Low post numbers, frequent identity changes, and lack of anything constructive to say are good indicators as to what kind of character this person posesses. To top it off, Son of God makes unqualified calims that he "writes for a living" that he "knows how Dylan works".

This leads me to believe that SOG is either a liar, or an insecure elitist that is afraid that someone may actually develop skills that they believe are talents bestowed by some kind of divine messianic process that requires suffering for their "art".

You most certainly can benefit from writing exercises. Often exercises can allow your brain to enter "Right brain mode"-creating and forcing connections between images, objects, and ideas. Maybe SOG doesn't need to go through this process since he"writes for a living". Most artists don't understand how they create either, and most don't understand why other people can't "get it" when they try to explain it. Dismissing the methods that others are using to facilitate creativity is easy when hiding behind a psudeonym and making dubious claims.

So, Son of God....

Let's have a writing sample. An article, a magazine story, a local paper, a novel, anything that would qualify your claims.

 

'cause last night when I was talking to Dylan, he said he didn't know you.

 

Peace,

Bryan

[Billiejoe120]

I just wanted to thank you for posting this. Everyone can befinit from this...I having trouble wrting lyrics and I tried it and it just start to come out like flowing (I wrote about a rubix cube just cuz it was in frnt of me) But I hope this helps....Can't wait for the next thread

[cool_E]

I'm glad it helped. I've been putting more stuff to paper

lately myself.

[thelonius74]

"I've never peeled off the stickers

taken apart the pieces

nor purchased any books with a solution

 

but I'm gonna get that bottom line

if it takes all my time

'cause I don't wanna add to next year's resolution

 

but I'm still a little nervous to reach the ultimate goal

I've never been comfortable at changing roles

 

how will I react if my life starts ending trouble(forgot this exact line, that's what it sounds like but it doesn't make sense)

and what happens if I solve this stupid puzzle

 

whether by skill or by luck

there's no choice but to mess it back up

 

So if I find a solution

should I buy a brand new puzzle

or prove my skill enough to be the master

 

when you finally get that bottom line

about a hundred times

seems so redundant trying to solve the same puzzle faster

 

But I'm still a little nervous to reach the ultimate goal

i've never been comfortable at changing roles

 

how will I react if my life starts ending trouble

And what happens if I solve every puzzle

 

Where will I be when old Rubik stops challenging me

 

(bridge)

speculation isn't something I should worry about

because I still as of yet haven't figured that puzzle out

and I don't mind

and I may just be wasting my time

'cause whether by skill or by luck,

there's no choice but to mess it back up.

 

 

--------------------------------------------

 

This is a tune by the defunct (I think) group of Seattle powerpopsters called The Amateur Lovers.

 

You mentioned a song about Rubiks Cube and this one came to mind. my band does a cover of it actually. Very bouncy tune...kinda reminds me of They Might Be Giants.

[corso]

Mickey Christ......heh hehhehhh!

[ewebacca]

here's mine:

[ewebacca]

sorry, i hit enter and it posted before i could write.

 

once there were four and then there were three

Kerry rolled the dice, it was the end of me

Tell tale battles of the Risk front

and donuts and coffee

 

Throats tightening

Hands cramping

Bob builds a legion in siam

Kerry's army does some revamping.

 

The systematic destruction of a nation

All at the mercy of six dice

I would be lying if said

"those homefries and gravy don't smell nice"

 

The time rolls by

Day becomes night

The gravy beckons nausua

Two warriors survive.

[electricmel]

This Son of God guy is on the mark in my opinoin.

 

The way to becoming a good writer is to write ALOT.

 

And I read that post they were refering to from Scott Jones on tips or rules of writing, and though it was 100% pure {censored}.

 

I also think the amount of posts someone has really reflects on their social proclivities more than anything. I get mad at myself for wasting time on these forums instead working on projects or actually talking to humans!

 

But that is what this excersize is about - just writing on a subject.

 

So here goes -

 

I have a duplicitous reality. A doppleganger that exists in my existence. Sometimes I can control every word, thought and scenario, other times I am helpless to make anything happen. And make myself happy. I have days of laughter and satisfaction. Where the sun feels good on my skin and I see the beautiful and righteous. Other days I can't speak and it's hard to breath and move. I am mired by the weight of my own body. At times I can be as loud as a rocket and times I can't eek out a sentence. I can find humor in every unturned corner ...wait my cell phone is ringing...o.k. I'm back. That sucked. Where was I - It is scary to me how two people can exist in one body, one brain. When i go to bed at night sometimes I am asleep in five minutes, others I lay awake all night tossing and turnig, almost in an uncomfortable pain wih thoughts flashing in my brain like a million little lasers. I look in the mirror and I turn to the left and see one person, the right another. One of my nipples is hairy, one is clean. Am I two or one? Am I human?...

 

 

 

- O.K. I lost track of time because of the call but that was about ten min. give or take a couple, totally unedited.

 

 

What's next, COOL E??????