Members sdl89939 Posted November 21, 2003 Members Share Posted November 21, 2003 Well, I've been writing for a few years now and sometimes I think my songwriting abilities are really going no where, so what do you all think of this song: Walk AwayNo reason to stayI gotta walk awayNo way I will staySo I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sdl89939 Posted November 22, 2003 Author Members Share Posted November 22, 2003 bumpity bump bump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members confuseitall Posted November 24, 2003 Members Share Posted November 24, 2003 I think you are being too vague and using too many cliches. Try focusing on your concept and using descriptive words to illustrate that idea. Brainstorm some lines that describe tastes, smells, feeling you have on this subject. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members olddan Posted November 24, 2003 Members Share Posted November 24, 2003 Well I like the tension you set up with line 1 and the chorus exhorting yourself to walk away while in lines 2 and 3 your are basically standing still. However you are mixing your metaphors. For instance in verse 2 Here in this bubble I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members guysmy Posted November 24, 2003 Members Share Posted November 24, 2003 I think you should talk about where you want to "walk away" to. What are you looking for that is causing you to walk away from your current life. Listen to "Where the Streets Have No Name" (U2) and "Should I Stay or Should I go" (The Clash), that might inspire you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sdl89939 Posted November 26, 2003 Author Members Share Posted November 26, 2003 Originally posted by olddan Well I like the tension you set up with line 1 and the chorus exhorting yourself to walk away while in lines 2 and 3 your are basically standing still. However you are mixing your metaphors.Like I said, you've created some good tension you just need to refine it. Walk AwayNo reason to stayI gotta walk awayNo way I will staySo I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members olddan Posted November 27, 2003 Members Share Posted November 27, 2003 Much better. It stays together very well. I like the stuck in an old movie image. Now put it to music. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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