First Songs Lyrics Need Criticism

Well I don't have too many critics in my arsenal so I would appreciate any criticism of my first song:

And I do a great impersonation

of myself, and my ghost

and everyone else

ceaselessly, ever changing

undoubtedly, condescending

I wish I could make a sound

Like no one else

Truth is

I'm not myself

We all reach in opposing directions

Hope to find a new way

Were all the same

Put on a new face

Were all the same.

Thanks for any input:)

Pretty good. I think that you avoided the beginner's trap of just saying things in banal terms. I also really like starting songs with conjunctions.

It seems like your stringing together rather big words, which makes for a mouthful. Have you set this to music? Does it sing well?

Also, you really need to develop the idea--you've only got a first verse and (maybe) a chorus. You should have a second verse, at least, if not also a bridge and third verse.

I do have music to it and it's fast playing but, the words are only mouthed off two or three at a time. My chorus is just gonna be instrumental I think. I can't write good hooks so I wouldn't want to taint what little I do.

as modern poetry it sounds ok. but moses is right we need to hear it to understand wheteher it is musical or not.

the following could be your chorus.

Hope to find a new way

Were all the same

Put on a new face

Were all the same.

I undestand about the needing to hear if it's musical, and I did ponder over the lines you put for a chorus and I wrote another few lines to add in maybe in like a slowed down downstrum.

And I like you but I dont,

Like the plays you've written

And I like you but I dont,

Like the stories you tell

Honesty's as cheap as can be

Even this song is a lie