Critique my band's first recorded song

http://www.myspace.com/solidair

Any input is welcome, i'm just trying to see what the public think (you don't have to be a musician to comment). Cheers.

soundclick post? (myspace WILL NOT WORK for me) i'd really love to hear your work

haha. man, that is the corniest {censored} i've ever heard. it's like you're trying to be dark...or something...but it just comes out as whiny and weak. there was a useless solo, a complete lack of keyboards during the entire first half, and the production sucks.

ha. i'm sorry dude, but that was lame.

im afraid i must agree. im sure ppl will criticise my band too but u gota say it how you see it dude. hmm il see about putting some stuff online but not on myspace where it is atm cos id like to get feedback too.

First of all, I think the previous posters were a little harsh. But then I consider your age as a factor.

my impression is that you're pretty young (15-17) and you probably think Tool is the greatest thing since the Electric Guitar right?

That's cool, but I think it shows too much in your performance. The vocals don't sound unique at all. They sound like a guy trying to sound like Maynard and not doing a very good job. The music itself is decent although a blatant copy/tribute.

I believe that to really perfect your own style requires emulating your influences, building from their foundations and taking it somewhere else. I think you're on the right path here and I strongly encourage you to continue making music, no matter what some (conveniently anonymous) guys say on a message board.

the time issues for the drummer were driving me nuts. he needs a metronome and about a year of daily practice on it. this isn't disrespect - it's the truth. he's got some seriously eager drum ideas without the timekeeping to support them. he will be good, but not doing it just yet. the drums just kept me from being able to listen to anything else. confuseitall was almost prophetic in his tool-loving call and the parallel to your music. i'm going to go on a bit further and say that not a single player in this group has their own voice on their instruments yet (singer included)- hopefully, that will come a bit later

again, confuseitall was super-on by saying how young it sounds. you will have to put more time into your playing. the other guys' criticisms WERE harsh, but not necessarily inaccurate. the guitar solo was truly lame as hell and the voice lacked a lot. THAT VOICE WILL COME INTO ITS OWN, THOUGH. i believe that. it will be good. but yeah, get away from maynard a bit. and as for the guitarist, he'll grow up. it's part of it. he should start thinking of phrasing rather than a fast riff. that's step one. every guy in every guitar store in every state can play stupid fast riffs. (i probably taught a few of them!)

confuseitall said:

i'm with him one hundred percent. don't stop. but grow thick skin, man. every musician who's made a career of it has. BTW, Canto was the only harsh guy, revolution was just honest

i agree, it isnt exactly gd (as i sed b4) but theres potential and u shud keep at it. i never meant you all suck but ye more practice and more originality and try and make it sound more...professional and less young (even tho you are) lol.

and tool are amazing but alot more complex rhythmicaly adn technically than that.

Thanks for your inputs guys. Youngest one is 16 (me - guitarist) and oldest is 18 (singer - has dysphasia and looks 12).

Ironically after posting this the singer/keyboard player left and me and my drummer are going on to make a more sophisticated (things were happening too slow, like the recording i psoted - we've been together over a year and that's all the recordings we have) alternative/prog band.

Since i'm the guitarist i was wondering if you guys could criticise that solo a little more. I was using my lead channel with delay tap tempo'd to the song so it sounds slightly harmonised with the notes i play. What could've been better?

Once again guys cheers.