I made this tune quickly tonight...opinions?

It's Saturday night and I had nothing to do, so I made this tune quickly...

From nothing to finish in about 4 hours, so pretty quick I think.

It's called 'A Perfect Light'. What do you think (apart from the fact that it could do with a healthy dab of remixing)?

www.myspace.com/theturningcircle

or

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=568120

I bet it's a lot easier writing songs when you don't have to worry about lyrics, or getting the vocals right.

The main/verse riff is very sludgey. That's probably good, right? I like the seagull synths. The first high guitar part (in the chorus?) is a little lame. Maybe go a little more chromatic for that? You might drop it alltogether when you've got vocals.

The "bridge" (which ends with the synth filter sweep) doesn't do anything for the song. I'd toss it.

Compared to your other stuff, I can tell that this only took a few hours, but you always get cool sounds and have a good structure.

You're right.

I listened to again this morning after a nights sleep and it's not too clever....however, I think there's a good tune in there, so I'll go back, rerecord stuff and work on the mix and use of effects, and I think I'll have a great track.

Thanks for the comments, I always appreciate your thoughts

I agree I like the main idea. There is quite a bit there that could turn into something. It's tough to listen to the whole thing though because it kind of gets repetitive. I like the drum track a lot. I'm trying to think what it is I do like about it cause like I said there is something there but i'm having trouble puttin a finger on it.

Sorry I couldn't be more help

How about turning the bass track up slightly. I agree that when the vocals are in it will probably sit nicely. How about a phaser on some of the higher pitched guitar, or panning?

I like your stuff dude, keep up the good work.

I really liked that track

i think you got some great sounds out, man. (minus the poor mix and the hightest guitar in the B section)

it begins to sound a bit too 'loopy' for me at around the 2 minute mark and overall, i think it was a bit light on content for four minutes of music. i keep waiting for something to happen; maybe a bit more melodically interesting. i'm guessing that that bass part is intended to be the 'grabber' here, but it has the feel of being overly beaten into my ear, since it's the most varied and melodic part by far - the 'lead guitar' is buried in the mix and very static; very cool effect, BTW, but not a lead melody

also, for some reason, i kept expecting the drum and bass part to kick in - that would probably be pretty cool.

i agree that there's definite quality here, just the tune itself lacked in peaks and valleys and good section definition. i like to be taken on a ride a bit and this tune seems to stay in the same place. it was almost like the.....HOLY {censored}! THAT'S IT. lol yeah!.....this music reminds me in its repetitiveness as the stuff that you'd put at the Menu screen of a DVD! in fact, i think it would be perfect for that. (might not be a bad idea to pitch it that way to a small direct-to-video studio - you might get a heads-up on a career doing stuff straight for synch.!)

overall, i wasn't feeling the sections of the tune as much as i'd like to, but good job.

i think you got some great sounds out, man. (minus the poor mix and the hightest guitar in the B section)

it begins to sound a bit too 'loopy' for me at around the 2 minute mark and overall, i think it was a bit light on content for four minutes of music. i keep waiting for something to happen; maybe a bit more melodically interesting. i'm guessing that that bass part is intended to be the 'grabber' here, but it has the feel of being overly beaten into my ear, since it's the most varied and melodic part by far - the 'lead guitar' is buried in the mix and very static; very cool effect, BTW, but not a lead melody

also, for some reason, i kept expecting the drum and bass part to kick in - that would probably be pretty cool.

i agree that there's definite quality here, just the tune itself lacked in peaks and valleys and good section definition. i like to be taken on a ride a bit and this tune seems to stay in the same place. it was almost like the.....HOLY {censored}! THAT'S IT. lol yeah!.....this music reminds me in its repetitiveness as the stuff that you'd put at the Menu screen of a DVD! in fact, i think it would be perfect for that. (might not be a bad idea to pitch it that way to a small direct-to-video studio - you might get a heads-up on a career doing stuff straight for synch.!)

overall, i wasn't feeling the sections of the tune as much as i'd like to, but good job.

ps - i don't think there's room for vocals

Thanks for the comments guys.

I spent a little more time on it last night, and I think it's much better, to my ears anyway. I've updated the track on Soundclick and MySpace.

I think the whole thing fits together much better than before.

The 'chorus' section is repetitive, I agree, but I think that will fill out with vocals...because it's a E-A-G-B progression I think a really strong vocal chorus will fit to it....but that's hard for you guys to hear when it's just music.

I like it! Do you plan on adding vocals or leaving it without. Personally, I think it works without them. I agree wit blues to some extent that it does get sorta repetitive but I like the use of effects in there... Good job-keep up the good work.

Ok, now it's finished.

I like it.

I hope you do too.