comments? just wrote this song about apathy

just wrote this after seeing Blood Diamond and feeling that although we talk and talk and talk about how we don't like all the injustice in the world, very few of us are truly passionate, because we're not directly faced with serious problems... super preachy, I know. Stevie Wonder did it and he's one of my idols. Not that I'm him, but IMO there's room for a bit of preaching in music...

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(no title yet)

If I told you of a fire high enough to burn the clouds

or wide enough to raze all of New York down to the ground,

hot enough to melt a diamond,

red enough to find it

in the veins of a most passioned soul

whose heart is true devout...

If I told you of this fire, you would look me in the eye and laugh

I swear that's what you'd do - and then you'd pat me on the back and ask

for where I heard this story

this awful allegory

you wouldn't dial 911 and lead them down the path

"Because you can't light a fire here that burns for any length

We would have it put out before it grew to such a strength

We've got men who do that

they always run on time

So what's the point of trying to make me swallow such a lie"

"Why don't you go to Africa, and tell about this blaze?

Tell them it's been going on 100 thousand days,

They'd saddle up and pack their bags

and fold up all the cotton rags

and run in what direction that you say is a-ok."

"'Cause you can build a fire there as grand as you see fit

and someone in that land, i know, has seen one just like it.

They're used to seeing things like that,

and that's the way it is,

and it ain't gonna change in any time for us I bet."

You can't build a fire here, not to span New York.

It ain't about to happen and it ain't been done before,

I don't care how much gas you use,

or what you use to start,

it ain't gonna happen here, not even in a heart.

comments welcome

Hmm I really like the sentiment and idea behind the poem, but I found a lot of the prose sort of clumsy. Quite a few of the lines sounded good but didn't relate to each other so well, and the story behind the lyrics was hard to follow at a number of places. Occasionally it didn't make much sense...

I'll go into more detail if you wish...