New tune "Merciless" (mature content)

The following song may be objectionable to certain humans, view at your own risk.

The song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw1vH4cVoo4

You messaged me over IM

You told me out-right "Babe, I'm not a virgin"

I said, "Oh? Just who made you a woman?"

you replied "My second cousin, they're a {censored}ing dime a dozen"

The last thing I want to do

is start a love triangle

But let me tell you

you look like an angel from this angle

I know, I know,

"Ken, you're merciless"

Well let me tell you

You're lucky real monsters don't exist.

I was snacking on some dick,

it's good to be home with strawberry airwick

Making friends, all high on crack,

And even blacker than tricky of massive attack.

Hey Mrs. F, I just got back from {censored}ing your daughter!

You can't pretend you'll own her vagina forever!

Either you're with us, or you're out of the picture!

While we're playing sick games with chains, guns, and leather!!!

The last thing I want to do

is start a love triangle

But let me tell you

you look like an angel from this angle

I know, I know,

"Ken, you're merciless"

Well let me tell you

You're lucky real monsters don't exist.

Everything you've ever said is true,

Except, of course, for "I love you"

I'm not sure mature was the word I would have used but...you know, glad you gave us some warning.

I think this is a stronger, more focused song, a little vague, certainly, and it does get distracted a little with the strawberry airwick... but all in all, more successful, for me. Glad to be free of the distraction of aesthetic and moral dilemmas over sexual violence in entertainment, to be rure. This is, after all, just a good ol' dirty song, a timeless tradition updated with the use of what I perceive as the next breaking trend instrument, the ukulele.

You have really strong pop sensibilities and your throwaway presentation suggests you're certainly not taking yourself too seriously -- which, seems to me, is a good asset for a pop writer. I could see songs like this developing a cult following for you -- but I'd hate to see you trapped in a sort of shock-lyrics schtick.

Anyhow, a hooky little piece of outsider pop once again well served by your ukelele.

+1 - although I think there are much worse places to be trapped than in a shock-lyrics schtick. And definitely, keep the ukulele.

I'll have to listen when my wife isn't home, but from reading the lyrics, I've got to say that "triangle" and "angle" don't rhyme any more than "true" and "untrue". Adding a prefix doesn't help.

My suggestion--a line that ends in "dangle".

The lyric has a lot more depth than most of its kind, for what that's worth.

Isn't Tricky rather light-skinned?

I took that as a send up of suburban wannabes... but I'm thinking that lyrical section would be better replaced with some sort of meditation on the significance of his recent romantic interlude... donchya think?

I'm not sure mature was the word I would have used but...you know, glad you gave us some warning. I think this is a stronger, more focused song, a little vague, certainly, and it does get distracted a little with the strawberry airwick... but all in all, more successful, for me. Glad to be free of the distraction of aesthetic and moral dilemmas over sexual violence in entertainment, to be rure. This is, after all, just a good ol' dirty song, a timeless tradition updated with the use of what I perceive as the next breaking trend instrument, the ukulele. You have really strong pop sensibilities and your throwaway presentation suggests you're certainly not taking yourself too seriously -- which, seems to me, is a good asset for a pop writer. I could see songs like this developing a cult following for you -- but I'd hate to see you trapped in a sort of shock-lyrics schtick. Anyhow, a hooky little piece of outsider pop once again well served by your ukelele.

I despise the term "outsider pop"

I would much rather prefer "Glam folk" perhaps?

Thank you, but my style of writing hardly focuses on rhymes. Most of my songs rhyme, but if I feel that it is in the narrative's best interest, I will sacrifice a rhyme for the sake of the lyrics. Also, listen to the song, I'm sure you'll change your mind.

You are extremely literate for a mod.

I suppose I'm going to have to try harder.

yeah I like that, it should definitely be about the narrative, anyway. I like 'angel' and 'angle' in the same line too.

I listened, but it still bugs me. I think I'm the only one, though.

I enjoyed this more than your first one...there was just something a little more interesting about it...probably because there's some ambiguity in the story and I like ambiguity.