Members Songwriter81 Posted June 28, 2008 Members Share Posted June 28, 2008 Took the song down Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Nick* Posted July 1, 2008 Members Share Posted July 1, 2008 I really like it man! I see a pretty damn good song here. However, I do think a drummer and bassist would work well with this song. Great job! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted July 1, 2008 Members Share Posted July 1, 2008 This is catchy as heck. I can see why Nick belabored the obvious -- it's really crying out for bass and drums -- but you can sweat that later. My only real problem here is the quote from the preacher... quote or not, it's awkward enough to almost stop the song in its tracks. I'd stick with the type of rhymes you have most of the way through there, even if you have to paraphrase. A fun little song! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted July 1, 2008 Members Share Posted July 1, 2008 Like it. +1 on catchy as all get gone. Kind of an uptempo Lou Reed vibe to it. +1 on the preacher lyric being a problem - the meanings of the words work, but it scans very badly right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Songwriter81 Posted July 1, 2008 Author Members Share Posted July 1, 2008 Hey guys, I really appreciate the feedback. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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