New Untitled Guitar Piece - Need Opinions!

I just finished writing my first song.. never been able to finish one. It's still a draft, I plan on making some changes. Could you guys check it out and let me know how it is and what I can do to make it better?

http://www.4shared.com/file/77561702/12e8c13d/Untitled_Song.html

Thanks

I'm not the guy to criticize anyone's guitar playing. It sounds pretty good to me. I only heard one mistake that was noticeable. Congratulations on your first recording. Keep after it.

EG

It has a dark, attractive moodiness. Its emotional arc is pretty good. The performance might be a trifle uneven but that will come with practice. If there's a compositional problem it might be that there's not a lot of melodic focus... a lot of the time, it seems like you're relying on emotive rhythmic playing to hold our attention and that works to some extent but it may not be enough to give the song a solid, takeaway identity in folks' minds.

It's a whole different type of consideration, but as a guitarist and guitar enthusiast, I'm not especially attracted to the sound of electified acoustics. On stage, there's often little choice. But recording, one can use a mic to capture the rich complexity of the instrument, even a lesser instrument, and, for me, that's almost always preferable to the thin, metallic sound of a pickup or typical transducer. That said, some folks like that sound, I guess, so, there ya go.

I really liked it. Like previously stated, the emotion portrayed is great. An excellent first song (completed!). Other than some timing glitches, I really wouldn't change anything if I were you.

Good job. I'd love to hear this with some drums and bass behind it.

Hello RileyBrady ,

Congrats on the first song ! This has a very epic and almost movie soundtrack to it . Very emotional gripping ride with this tune. ( I've listened 5 times already so I mean that all in the best of ways )

I can see blue2blues points on melody . And I been listening thinking of ways to realize that with what you have going on here and how to go about melody with it. To me its a very powerful piece of emotional playing. And while I think you could go overboard and distract away from the power of the piece, I also think there are some placed a chord strumming chord patterns could really set this off and take it to a new level. Like at the change around :58 when you come in with a drown Bass line and sliding up the neck maybe some chords matching the slides or having some from of octave interplay in parts. I'm guessing minor chords to not distract from whats already going on sense they tend to be more open and moody.

What's already here is very strong in my opinion as a first effort. If I were you I'd explore this as much as it felt right to do so. Keep us posted if you make any changes .

When is song two expected out? You cant just stop now ..I want more!

All the best ,

T Bone

hey nice work really-- moody yet transic almost tribal in a sense. I do like the distraction of the strummed higher ends- if that make since. Before I say this I must explain I am a fan of sounds to help convey a mood-- I hear in the begining intro maybe some wind sounds-- or footsteps by a crowd of people I duuno where you could pull these sounds from-- but well in my head thats what I hear.

Some timing considerations here and there but I am thinking that some of those off time patterns were placed there for reason.

Idea at 1:30 when you start that rythmic picking maybe break those up recording wise-- have the first passage panned right the next panned left and the next panned right again with the final one panned about half way left and bring everything back into the middle.

I must ask whats the mood-- reason of this song is there any or is it just a little jam that has progressed into what it is??

Listened to this again tonight. Do I hear some hints of a Michael Hedges influence there?

EG