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Optimistic song- please help me


ALyricman

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I need help. Please comment and correct this lyric, and give me some idea. It is not yet over. I need your idea. PLZ

 

You have to walk before you can run

And have to choose between all or none

You have to talk before you can sing

And have to experience each pain and sting

 

You have to balk before you can win

And have to learn in brawl and din

You have to be born before you can been

And must know yourself without sin

 

You may go from London to Dublin

These two cities are negative twins

You may go from Moscow to Berlin

Over their flew bird with same fin

 

Even if all of the world is your

You need to take a detour

Even if you don't need it any more

Keep it in your store

 

You have to fight to the end

If you want all to defend

You have to give back what you lend

If you want it to spend

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After reading through a few times I found there was too many/too much focus on the rhyme. It seemed forced because it was too prevalent. Which paragraph is the chorus? Is on eo them the bridge? I think you could call this "Before You Can" as that seems to be the idea. Good start so far...:)

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English isn't your 1st language, I bet. Is OK. Some words get lost in translation. I took first five lines and changed to prevent monotony from using the same beginning over & over.

 

It has nice sentiment. Good luck.

 

WE ALL MUST walk before WE run

SOMETIMES THE CHOICE IS all or none

UNLESS you talk you'LL NEVER sing

THE SWEETEST HONEY HAS ITS sting

 

DON'T PLAY TO LOSE DON'T KILL TO win

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