Recorded first new song in 2 years, please listen...

I would love to get some reactions to the first new song I've recorded in the last couple years. The song idea itself is quite old, but I was never happy with any of the previous versions.

Please listen and let me know your honest thoughts. It's called Blue Sky http://www.myspace.com/patrickjphillips

or if you don't want to use Myspace, http://www.garageband.com/artist/draketungston

Thanks,

Patrick

Like it...dark, moody...some good effects going on. I definately dig the guitar effects...

You should record more...very good though the click track should be turned off.

Thanks. I think what you may be hearing is clapping which is suppose to be there as percussion. Or, I suppose there is a chance that the click bled through into a track somewhere? I haven't heard that, though, and I've listened to the song a number of times...

Well your very good regardless...it sounds like you used it as percussion but it is so low in the mix that I thought it was a click track...could be bleed through...it is not real annoying but sounded like it wasn't supposed to be there since its volume was so low. Good luck...you are really good and should keep at the recording thing. I listened to all the songs on your myspace. All were good with all of them keeping in the style you write and record in.

Thanks a lot. I'd love to write and record more but never have the time.

Also, thanks for the click/clap observation. This is the type of stuff that I definitely want to hear about because, after listening to the track with this in mind, I think you're right. I might raise it in the mix or tweak it some other way.

I'm also open to more critical, substantive commentary as well.

The only other thing would be the lyrics...it really helps to read along while listening. Unless of course your looking for only the music crit. Totally understandable. Lyrics are personal sometimes. I go to boards where the lyric is the most important thing on that site. They can be very tough. Others sites want just the music crtited. All serve a purpose.

valley lines cut like a knife into my mind

grey clouds dropping anvils from the sky

you'll be right at home tonight

board the windows close the blinds

silver-lined basin has a face that disappears

black slick takes aim on an oil field

nine miles without a sound

storm blows down the only road to town

blue sky

divides the night

wheat stalk golden stacked up to the sky

pinwheel blowing crazy through the night

nine miles without a sound

storm blows down the only road to town

blue sky

divides the night

These are just opinions so use what you want from these crits and disregard the rest...

The lyrics are well suited for this style...their exact meaning may be lost on the listener but many good songs have and do use vague lyrics...these are pretty good and work well with what you have going on...no need to do anything IMO...

Here is what I as a listener would like though...clearly sung well enunciated words that as a listener I could get into and sing along with you...the style of singing doesn't need to change because it is a cool vibe and sound you have going on but without the lyrics in front of me I can only sing with you here and there...I think this would improve greatly if the words were clear...maybe a touch less reverb would help that as well IDK ...

All this stuff is subjective and somebody else could come on later and say don't touch a thing...I only offer what I think and because you wanted feedback. It takes a lot time to do this recording stuff and I have no real credentials other than those of a listener. Hope it helps....Ted

Don't touch a thing.

It's true......these vox are drenched and seriously laid back and a lot of folks really want to hear the words. For me, though, it is this particular vocal delivery that gives this song some style and character. I love the way you pull it off.

As for critique.......you might consider bringing those guits up strong right from the get go to grab my attention and act as counterpoint to those lazy ass vocals.

Nice tune.

You've got style.

In regard to the lyrics, my approach is not to tell a story but to evoke a particular mood. I try to be a bit obtuse so the listener can make of them what they will.

I remember something I read a few years back in a Beck interview. He was asked about his crazy nonsensical lyrics and responded that the lyrics mean everything and the lyrics mean nothing all at the same time. I would describe my approach to lyric writing similarly.

As for the vocal delivery itself, I have been told by a few other people to annunciate a bit more clearly, so you guys are not alone in this complaint. It might be something I can fix by playing around with reverb and eq, we'll see.

The click/clap thing wasn

The guitar reverb/tremolo effects are awesome. I picture this being used in a Scorsese movie or something, when someone has just killed someone or had sex and is now smoking a cigarette.

Hi,

I like this a lot, very atmospheric, I go along with the

Sorry to be the odd man out but I'd ditch the clapping completely. I loved the guitar and your voice and the clapping was just too much of a distraction. Plus I don't think it fit the mood of the song at all. But what do I know.

Cheers,

Deric

Very good job! This is the best thing I've heard on the forums so far.

Great production (although it was quiet, and the early percussion was tough to follow), some unexpected chords in there which I always like, good vibe and performance.

You've got a friend request from me (Mike B. is for Byj). I'm listening to Kaleidoscope right now and it is also good. Well done!

I hear what you're saying about it being out of place. The clapping was the first thing I recorded and at the time I envisioned the song having a slightly lighter mood. I may take it out...