First time poster...of lyrics

Hi All,

Got some lyrics here but haven't been able to record the guitar / vox for it yet so just wanted to get some crits on the lyrics alone. The feel of this song is kind of like Working Class Hero..at least guitar wise.

I wake every morning

and look at myself

I ask what are you

a man or a mouse

Its been so long

can't remember who I am

Layered with mask of what others have planned

How you want me to be

Is how you want me to see

I can't fall right in

Even though you feed me your skin

Cause how you want me to be

Is how you want me to see

I'm on the outside looking in

Shuffle through my days

Struggle to obey

Suit and shirt tucked in

Filed in with other dead

Feed me all your words

So I can be heard

Still all my words

Are silent on my lips

How you want me to be

Is how you want me to see

I can't fall right in

Even though you feed me your skin

Cause how you want me to be

Is how you want me to see

I'm on the outside looking in

Break Away, Break Away

I won't be lead a stray

You can feed me your lines

but I have my mind

Not a clone of your satisfy

Cause how you want me to be

Is how you want me to see

But I'll toe that line

And my own self will testify

Cause How You want me to be...

Is how I'll never see

Thanks,

Lank

pretty classic theme, i like the hook, though personally i'm always wary of songs that claim the narrator able to somehow supercede society's demands, as i feel it's a misinterpriation of the great river we flow in, but that's just me.

the rhyme scheme strikes me as chaotic, which doesn't bother me except in the second verse, the three "erd"s is a bit much.

cool tune, thanks for sharing.

ES,

Thanks for the reply. I definitely understand your point on the claims of the narrator able to supercede the demands of Society. Sometimes I get in to one of those John Lennon / Paul Simon moods and go on a tangent. Once again, thanks for the reply.