Give Me a Kiss Before You Leave Me

Pardon the weak falsetto. Pardon the guitar hacking. Pardon the lack of knowing my own song just yet. Pardon the bare, no production, aesthetic. Pardon the disclaimers. Please feel free to critique the song itself... once it's set, I'll produce it up. It's going to be on piano and I don't feel like moving my Mac out in to the piano room so...

[YOUTUBE]q7amDs7mgss[/YOUTUBE]

You asked me, "What is love anyway?"

A school yard game for kids to play

Or some lie your father told you

You don

No production is still production.

Now all ya gotta worry about is any further production getting in the way of fantastic song. Solid. Even better in the air than on the page -- and it looked really good on the page.

Well done, Lee. This one's gotta feel good.

Now there's a falsetto with b^lls!

That's about it.

Can't wait to hear it with you tickling those pearls.

I knew that prechorus would sound great.

awesome tune, and i had a number of other positive comments that got washed way at 3:21 when i burst out laughing, that is possibly the greatest facial expression ever captured on film.

i'm actually curious about that moment, was it a mistake? because that's an awesome spot to put such a nice hard stop and go into your very sing-along-able end, i'm picturing a few tables and low lighting, young hipsters who couldn't keep up with your falsetto finally having a chance to catch the eye of that girl in the berret and fingerless wooly mittens by proving they know the words at the end and really giving it feeling... she has to look my way... she just has to...

Yeah, that's the... "I thought we talked about that part and weren't you going to go to the... well lighten up you don't even know the damn thing yet just keep... no.. yes... no redo the recording, no-yes keep playing... {censored} it...

Give me a kiss..."

Thanks for the comments everyone. As always, any input is welcome. I don't always take the advice, but I do a lot of the times too. Now's the time to make the changes before I work up an arrangement.

Fer instance, Stickboy points out Blazes and I agree. Then Leo says I like Blazes and I agree too and... you guys know how that goes.

Side note: If anyone can tell me what song I'm accidentally lifting it would be appreciated. I may not be, but some phrases I keep thinking, "Is that like, Jim Croce or Lobo or something?" How embarrassing would it be to rip of Lobo? It's easy enough to change away from a lift so if you spot it, please let me know.

wow - love it! not really what i was expecting from the lyrics and a nice folky/country melody

The blazes line doent bother me when sung its just a word i personally wouldnt use but seems to sit in just fine with the context of the song

Looking forward to the recorded version but this works for me just fine

x

I liked the tune a lot. I found myself singing along which is a positive sign and in doing so I discovered that you could add a lot to the the melody if you did some vocal runs at the end of some of the lines in your verses. For instance if you extended the singing of the words "easy" and "me" in verse three or "mind", "time" and "inclined" in verse 4 you could push the melody through and build up to the pre-chorus giving it more feeling and emotion. I'd sing you what I had in mind but alas letters are not the greatest vehicle with which to translate melody. I'm sure you'll figure something out.

Cheers,

Deric

Thanks. I love your approach, so let me ask you... What were you expecting musically from the lyrics? It would be interesting to hear. Perhaps I can tap into some of what you imagined it might be, in my arrangement and production, if it fits.

What were you hearing?

Fantastic, like I said in my thread, quite like Ray Davies in my book, but then upon further inspection it reminds me of Richard Hawley's solo stuff.

Beautiful and the underlying current of nostalgic longing really flows throughout the piece. It feels like a story that follows the progression and ageing of the character which really gives it a classic timeless quality in my opinion.

Got it. I like that...

what was i expecting? its a good question i dunno, sometimes lines are easy to see kinda how they are going to flow and i couldnt really see it with yours, however they flow really well, i guess i was expecting something a little more serious sounding...probably the wrong word to use... maybe not such a good melody if you get me

You have a way of turning a set of lyrics into a great song just by the way that you sing them. Subtly turned phrases and cadence shifts are important tools for songwriters to learn to master.

With this tune that is once again evident. I'd say that the more times you perform this one before you commit it to a studio send-up the better it will get.

I'm really digging this YouTube medium as a songwriting tool. I can see how it must help immensely with fine tuning the delivery. I may have to look into a transition into the 21st century.

Yeh seriously its a great great tool - a good cover can get a LOT of people over to your actual music page and i use it to prove that its not ALL about the studio i.e splicing together endless takes to make one good song. I like to prove that i can also pull the song off in its purest form... also i use it to promote releases... bad timed plug in a way but im about to release a new ep so made this viral vid about an hour ago - just quickly made up and recorded an instrumental and placed it over a VERY HIGH BUDGET video

x

Yeh seriously its a great great tool - a good cover can get a LOT of people over to your actual music page and i use it to prove that its not ALL about the studio i.e splicing together endless takes to make one good song. I like to prove that i can also pull the song off in its purest form... also i use it to promote releases... bad timed plug in a way but im about to release a new ep so made this viral vid about an hour ago - just quickly made up and recorded an instrumental and placed it over a VERY HIGH BUDGET video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u87U-8pFzEE x

Dude! I'll buy one. You aesthetic is happening. You remind me of a modern version of Badly Drawn Boy. Except that you have great songs too. Somebody was bound to take his thing and make it right. Not saying you "took his thing" but you are the logical extension of it. Well done. Consider me a fan.

Right... I know just what he's talking about. On the meter, I think I mentioned that I took it on faith that I didn't read the meter on the page that would make it come alive. And I think that while I sort of also took it on faith that you'd find a way to sweeten the pensive cast of the lyric as it was -- I, myself, couldn't really imagine the way forward.

But I think you really nailed it, by and large.

I think it's interesting that, when I looked at the rest of the comments after I posted mine, that ontological also mentioned singing along and Ice Monster also mentioned nostalgia...Looking at the lyrics on the page, I might venture bitter-sweet -- but there is a quality of nostalgia and yearning in the way the words work with the music.

With regard to every songwriter's not necessarily worst fear, accidentally copping a melody, while it has a classic feel, I'm not hearing anything specific... but isn't that the way that goes? Still, I think the trails are so criss-crossed here that, unless it really tracked the specific melody and meter of another song all the way, I think you're probably OK.

Made a mental note to listen to this once I got home. Glad I did.

When I read the lyrics they were ok. But when you sang them, the delivery made it so much more. Nice song! I dig it!

This was well done and delivered nice...no suggs...good writing.