The Stream

Time flies, blueberry pies

timeclocks, purple socks.

Staple gun, chewing gum

whisky sour, Eiffel tower.

Mouse pad, global fad

elephant, peppermint.

Steering wheel, banana peel

cigarettes, dirty pets.

Empty nest, silicone breast

packing tape, concord grape.

Pitbull sneer, low cal beer

contact lens, ballpoint pens.

What doesn't belong?

cool ... kind of a novelty song like Barenaked Ladies would write. It probably needs some more "standard verses" towrap around these lines to give it that flavor.

Pretty cool, man. Appropriate title, too.

Reminds me of We Didn't Start the Fire (Billy Joel)

Got any plans for a chorus?

Thanks. Just a combination of random words popping into my head and items sitting on my desk. Debating a proper chorus or something a little different.....

It's the End of the World as We Know It (and I Feel Fine)

Subterranean Homesick Blues

It's all about the rhythm of the delivery - count syllables and make them exactly fit your meter or have a really good idea for a performance work-around. Some lines have five syllables, some lines have six syllables, and some lines have seven syllables - you need to have a strategy for fitting that extra syllable in "banana" into your flow or else you need to re-write the line.

Right, in something like this, sound and flow is crucial, since one is presumably going for a too-fast-to-absorb-it-all kaleidoscopic effect. Of course, there are a jillion rap tracks that have worn that path to a rut, but in most of those, the images, ideas, and other songwriting objects have frequently been coopted again and again from others' works, with the result that many rappers' rhymes now have the feel of a xerox of a xerox of a xerox... (It wasn't always like that, my brothers and sisters. People once had a little something or other to say.)

I don't see that as a problem at all. Most of these are trochees of quarter notes and dactyls of two eights and a quarter note. the "ba" of banana can be thought of as a pickup note, making "nana peel" a dactyl.

"blueberry" is a little less smooth because using that technique forces and emphasis on the "ber" syllable. It still works, though.

I would call this a potentially viable performance strategy for dealing with an imperfect meter. :poke: