Members arturpendragon Posted February 11, 2011 Members Share Posted February 11, 2011 Hello guys, I'm new in this forum and I've come here cause I have a band, but I live in Brazil and my language is portuguese, but here I have no public to the music I try to do, so I write (try) my musics in english, so I like to show us my musics and I singing to an avaliation, how is my english, I have 2 own musics and I like to share with us. Here we go My first music is called Freedom Ride, here is the link to youtube and here is the Lyrics Freedom Ride - Awaken Get away, my ride Shining blue, high skies What you want, no way Get out my sight ----- What do you want No way Things you think, Stay away Things you feel Things you see Who cares? ----- Living alone my ride No rules, no society Coming true the desire Finding my way in the life ----- You can search the skies If you ever believe in your might Could go beyond If you never feel alone You can go so high If ever you seek enlightenment Could be anyone But always you feel so awesome ----- Feel your name, Feel this song Nothing is wrong Feel it loud ----- 'Cause, nothing is where it should be Nothing in your way should stay Heres my second music its called The way the cloud takes, youtube link and the lyrics The Way the cloud takes Some day like another day A time as any other Feeling things from my soul Getting inside my own Coming from deep Becoming alive Blinded by a gilded shine ----- With a singular harmony Fly through my soul A magical music Turns mud into life And life in freedom ----- Stop for a moment.... Look at the sunset..... Provides the direction That cloud takes Just for a moment.... ----- When the things get different paths And seems to have no solution When darkness takes possession of the light And everything seems to be illusion And everything seems to come against ----- Of a sudden... Everything is okay... My influences are Rush, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Metallica, Jethro Tull and other bands like this. I really want to know what you guys think about how I'm singing, if you can hear what I'm Saying and if the lyrics are good. Thank you guys VERY MUCH P.S: Sorry bad english. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted February 11, 2011 Members Share Posted February 11, 2011 Hi, Artur! Not exactly bossa nova, hunh? I hope you'll be able to translate and understand my post OK... You've got a workable little punk rave up in Freedom Ride, for the most part. Actually, the only part that doesn't necessarily make sense to me is the very first line, "Get away, my ride..." I suspect that those are simply short fragments pushed together -- but it almost seems like you're telling your ride to get away. (Here in the States, at this time, a ride is usually a car. But in the early 20th century, particularly in blues songs, a lover was sometimes called a rider -- which was derived from the arcana of African Voudoum, where a rider is a spirit that takes over or inspires a human -- a little like a muse, in some ways, but, in some rituals, more like what some folks call 'demonic posession.' I know African Voudoum [Voodoo] is a big influence in Brasil, too.) Anyway, I suspect you just meant that you were going to get away on a freedom ride. Now, this spotlights how hard it can be to write in a somewhat unfamiliar language. (I've written a couple of songs in Spanish, although I'm far from fluent in that language. It's hard.) I understand that in rock there's often a temptation for folks around the world to want to sing in English, because there are a lot of great rock songs in English. But the Portuguese-speaking world is also very large. And sometimes the home audience really responds to songs in their own language. I know a lot of Mexican punk bands made a conscious decision to sing in Spanish -- and that helped separate them from some older rock bands that kept trying for English hits. (No one has hits any more for the most part. At least not the kind that make money. ) Anyway, I encourage you to keep on working in English if you like (and hopefully we can help give you feedback on that) but also to explore writing in Portuguese, too. (Although, not that many of us here would be able to help with feedback on that. ) Good job, keep on rocking! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members arturpendragon Posted February 11, 2011 Author Members Share Posted February 11, 2011 Hello, thank you your answer. I thinked that "Freedom Ride" could be the same of somethink like "Freedom Way", now I'll try to change the word ride to something better and that makes more sense. Thank you again, you helped a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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