Inside a Jar

I really think I have a problem. A normal functioning human bean shouldn't churn out a new song everyday. lol

Anyway...this was supposed to be (based on my initial inspiration) a natural, acoustic, kinda slow and vaguely sad song...and it sort of is, but not really.

For anyone who notices (which probably nobody will, but just in case), I've "stolen" the chords used in the chorus of an earlier song I did called Lost Inside. I don't care for that particular song anymore and it won't be on my album, so I thought it was safe to use that chord progression here. (especially as I probably won't use this song on the album either, lol)

Oh, and the vocal is meant to sound like it's from inside a jar, ok? I was also going for a kinda Zooey Deschanel voice...well, not GOING for it but it just kept coming out...so yeah. Zooey in a jar.

http://picosong.com/4P2

Inside a Jar

Do you ever wonder

Why you are the way you are

You live inside a jar

Inside your mind

Everyday I ponder

Why you do the things you do

I

Another nice one, needs a hook really but a nice song none the less

Right, you have the voice and a load of good ideas lyrically but i checked out the jamstudio site you say you use and yeh its a great site for jotting ideas if you dont play any instruments but just be careful in that if you hit upon a piano part or interesting guitar part that it is VERY likely that part will appear in someone elses song due to the limited number of things you can click to add.

Maybe its time to slow down your output a little bit, look back and the songs you have and really start working on them..... you definately have some really great ideas but if it was me id be pretty worried that musically there are most likely going to be "identical" songs to mine out there from jamstudio

You got it though

x

Well...thank you firstly! :)

Secondly, I'm not worried about the Jamstudio limitations in terms of others using the same thing in their songs, cause (a) I doubt anyone would ever have a known / popular song using Jamstudio!!! and (b) I don't intend to either. I do definitely intend to get real instruments on all my songs (all the ones I intend to use on my album anyway)...so no worries there.

I have been planning to stop creating new stuff and instead getting most of the old stuff done properly, but...I just seem to need to get things out...but now, with this song, I feel I'm getting even more hit & miss than before, so the time has come for me NOW SERIOUSLY to stop with the new (unless I REALLY have strong inspiration and an idea for a specific song I want to do. Today I didn't at all) and go back to the old...

ahhhh cool well if your intention was to get these songs recorded using real instruments before putting them out then all good, im sure it will make the songs FANTASTIC!!

Also, im not saying you should purposfully STOP writing...no no....especially if they are still coming, but its just you were talking about a possible album, so i was kinda making the point that whilst these have all been great ideas, there have only been a few that feel "really" finished and it would be a shame just to say "they are done" and keep moving on.... if your intention is to go back and tidy them up, work a little at them, get them recorded with proper instruments THEN put out an album....well.... YES...thats exactly where you should be

I'd buy it

I surely do understand the need to get these songs out and onto some form of media so as not to lose them. Sticky is right about the need to go back and work some of them up.....but the time may not be right for you to do that while you are firmly in the grasp of the Muse.

BTW.....next time you listen back to this one listen carefully to your voice and your delivery every time you go into the chorus....'Why do you let me down every day'. That's good singing right there and a good image to hold on to for future performances.

Writing a new song every day is perfectly normal in my book. Those flourishes will fuel your activity when the muse doesn't feel quite so close.

I really like the simple use of imagery. Tearing apart the frog in science class - that is something nearly everyone can relate to. I get stuck trying to be too profound at times, but things like that can hit even harder. {Takes notes for self}

Some of the phrasing bugged me, particularly "oh" in "I remember oh" and "Its name was Bob". It seemed to me that you forced those parts in to fit the repetitive melody when a little divergence might have been better.

Love "everday" in the chorus. I also like the effect on the vocals.

At the very end, I think you should pause between "same" and "I've" and then sing the final line like you barely have the energy to get it out. Demonstrate the resignation more.

I like the song. Wish it was a little slower. My favorite lines are, "I

I think I