Do You Remember

This is just something I threw together...not sure about it...

http://picosong.com/jmM

Do You Remember

Waiting for you, watch the time go by

Listening for what happens when we die

All I want is

g-ohhhh, Ohhhh . . . , Lovely.

Somehow I wanted to hear you actually call a name. You talk about calling a name. I was expecting to hear one. It makes it a more intimate personal thing. Even if it's a made up name. I've done that a couple times where the names are changed to protect the guilty. Just made up names; to give a lyric more punch.

Very nice vocals. I'm not so sure about the pause in the second 'Only time will change your.........mind again'. I also know it's a scratch drum track, but I didn't particularly like the way the beat you chose works with this song.

She's channeling Leonard Scaper.

It's good, as usual. I'd just change the tense in the chorus.

"I'll make you out of cardboard.

I'll stick to you like glue."

Also, I wonder if two steps behind is a bit too close? Ten steps maybe?

LCK

I'll echo both suggestions (actually calling the name and changing the tense). Just substitute the name for the dragged out "oh" part of "only time..."

As for mixing (sorry Blue), I think the strummed electric would sound better if it started a hair sooner. Try dragging that track forward a 1/4 beat and see what happens.

Mmm. That pause was an error I didn

I absolutely love this song.

You are getting down to some serious songwriting now, dear Grace.

Please, no names.........the mystery is just so.......alluring.

Sounds good. FWIW, I kind of liked the accidental pause

+1

I never even noticed that guitar thing...but yes, I agree. I'm only listening to this one for the first (non-recording) time now.

Thanks, dear Lenny. And yes, it is alluring, isn't it?

You've probably heard this before, but your voice reminds me a lot of Joan Baez

Oh wow, thank you! I actually HADN'T heard that before...I've heard Karen Carpenter many times, but no Joan. That's really nice of you to say!

Not the most in depth feedback, but I LOVE IT!!

I really like this. This is a great song Grace. I love the otherworldly feel to your stuff. Really really great.

This is good. I clicked on this cause I was hoping it would be something like this. This is very good.

Thank you so much.

I really like it, the vibe reminds me of White Chalk

White Chalk? Never heard of 'em! Thanks for liking it.

White Chalk? Never heard of 'em! Thanks for liking it.

Its a song/album by pj harvey

OH! I thought it was a band! lol Silly me. PJ Harvey, eh? Interesting. Thank you!

Oh wow. I am listening to White Chalk right now...I love this song. It creeps me out and haunts me, but I can't stop listening to it.

This is just something I threw together...not sure about it...   http://picosong.com/jmM   Do You Remember   Waiting for you, watch the time go by Listening for what happens when we die All I want is

Oh wow. I am listening to White Chalk right now...I love this song. It creeps me out and haunts me, but I can't stop listening to it.

Awesome, its goose bump inducing to say the least. Love your song, listening to it again and I have a feeling its going to be in my head throughout the day

Oh wow, really?? THANK YOU! That's a really cool compliment. I must work on my songs further...they're all in such a pre-demo state...ugh. I need more time.

And thank you Blue!!

I never really thought of this as being about a parent or sibling. Both my parents are actually hear visiting me right now, and I have no siblings. So yeah, it's the other thing you said. Lover. But not imaginery, heh. Just absent. In a way.

Yes, there are bits I need to work on. Thanks for the soprano folk 60s comment. Love that whole vibe and time of music.