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help phase 2? If You're Looking For Me


Lee Knight

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Updated again:

 

V1

They built a tower, brick made with fire

They built into the stratosphere

Level by level, higher and higher

A ladder to the heavens, took them 47 years

 

Then one day a couple, set out to touch the hand of God

A young man and his greedy wife

Eager feet on stairs of sod

They climbed into the night

 

The man complained, girl aren't you tired?

She kept climbing tier by tier

Cause God can grant her all the gold she desires (then she hears...)

If you're looking for me, I'm down here

 

C1

I'm down here

In the mud of the river bed

I'm down here

In the rushes and the bramble

I'm down here, bathing in waters clean and clear

If you're looking for me

I'm down here

 

V2

Life north of the Hollywood Freeway

And when they bail the Silverlake Reservoir

The Sky Bar's a straight... downhill shot,

Up Sunset Boulevard

 

Scratching and biting their way

Up the rungs of their own success story

A couple a' wannabe birds of prey

And underfoot's just personal inventory

 

Up the Mondrian Hotel elevator

Rooftop cocktails in the heavens above lit up LA

Drunk with desire, he signals the waiter

She leans over the rail, and hears somebody say...

 

C2

I'm down here

Fishing the concrete rivers

I'm down here

With the boozers and the bums

I'm down here, in Mitzi's sipping a cold draft beer

If you're looking for me, babe

I'm down here

If you're looking for me...?

 

I'm down here

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V1

They built a tower, brick made with fire

They built into the stratosphere

Level by level, higher and higher

A ladder to the heavens, it took them 47 years


They set out to touch the hand of God

A young man and his greedy wife

Eager feet on stairs of sod

They climbed on into the night


The man complained, girl aren't you tired?

But she kept climbing tier to tier

God could grant her all the gold she desired (then they heard him)

If you're looking for me, I'm down here


C1

I'm down here

In the mud of the river bed

I'm down here

In the rushes and the bramble

I'm down here, bathing in waters clean and clear

If you're looking for me

I'm down here



V2

(this)

She wants to write her novel

He wants a Benz CL65

But she won't beg or grovel

And he's never felt more alive


(or this)

Scratching and biting their way

Through the rungs of LA life

Making an epic squeeze play

Partners in crime, man and wife


Life north of the Hollywood Freeway

At Silverlake Reservoir

The Sky Bar's a straight downhill shot,

Up Sunset Boulevard


Up the Mondrian Hotel lift

To the heaven's of LA

Rooftop view gets short shrift

When they hear somebody say...


C2

I'm down here

Fishing the concrete LA River

I'm down here

With the boozers and the bums

I'm down here, in Mitzi's drinking a cold draft beer

If you're looking for me

I'm down here

 

 

It's coming along nicely.

 

It might even be finished, but I won't know that until I hear the tune.

 

LCK

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V2

 

She wants to write her novel

He wants a Benz CL65

But she won't beg or grovel

They've never felt more alive

 

Scratching and biting their way

Up the rungs of LA life [i'd loose the first LA here. Maybe there is a better word to describe the life style they're going after?]

Making an epic squeeze play

Partners in crime, man and wife

 

[i get where the last couplet came from, but I think the tune would be better served to say what they are looking for. Ex in V1 they were looking to touch the hand of God. I'd use this couplet to spell out what they hope to find at the top of this ladder they are climbing and what is actually in Mitzi's drinking a cold draft beer]

 

Up the Mondrian Hotel lift [This might be a regional thing, but do people say lift in L.A.?]

To the heaven's of LA

Rooftop view gets short shrift [i had to look up shrift]

When they hear somebody say...

 

C2

I'm down here

Fishing the concrete LA River

I'm down here

With the boozers and the bums

I'm down here, in Mitzi's drinking a cold draft beer

If you're looking for me

I'm down here

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When they hear somebody say...


C2

I'm down here

Fishing the concrete LA River

I'm down here

With the boozers and the bums

I'm down here, in Mitzi's drinking a cold draft beer

If you're looking for me

I'm down here

 

So I'm thinking about ditching the Benz and novel verse and just starting V2 with:

Scratching and biting their way

 

[i'd loose the first LA here. Maybe there is a better word to describe the life style they're going after?]

 

Great idea. Working on it.

 

[This might be a regional thing, but do people say lift in L.A.?]

 

Damn you Rhino! :) no, they don't.But elevator wasn't providing any good tangent rhymes. You're right. Working on it.

 

[i had to look up shrift]

 

I'm not crazy about that either. And it will be a bitch to sing. Change... working on it.

 

All in all, very good input there, Mr. Rhino. May you forever escape the perils of the Rhino Horn Underground.

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Scratching and biting their way

Up the rungs of a plushy life

Making an epic squeeze play

To find their god, both man and wife

 

Life north of the Hollywood Freeway

Wanna bail the Silverlake Reservoir

The Sky Bar's a straight downhill shot,

Up Sunset Boulevard

 

Up the Mondrian Hotel elevator

They take in the heavens above lit up LA

Drunk with desire, he signals the waiter

She leans over the railing, and hears somebody say...

 

I'm down here

Fishing the concrete rivers

I'm down here

With the boozers and the bums

I'm down here, in Mitzi's sipping a cold draft beer

If you're looking for me, babe

I'm down here

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Copied to OP:

 

V1

They built a tower, brick made with fire

They built into the stratosphere

Level by level, higher and higher

A ladder to the heavens, it took them 47 years

 

Then one day a couple, set out to touch the hand of God

A young man and his greedy wife

Eager feet on stairs of sod

They climbed into the night

 

The man complained, girl aren't you tired?

But she kept climbing tier by tier

God could grant her all the gold she desired (then she heard him)

If you're looking for me, I'm down here

 

C1

I'm down here

In the mud of the river bed

I'm down here

In the rushes and the bramble

I'm down here, bathing in waters clean and clear

If you're looking for me

I'm down here

 

V2

Scratching and biting their way

Up the rungs of a plushy life

Making an epic squeeze play

To find their god, both man and wife

 

Life north of the Hollywood Freeway

When they wanna bail the Silverlake Reservoir

The Sky Bar's a straight downhill shot,

Up Sunset Boulevard

 

Up the Mondrian Hotel elevator

Rooftop cocktails in the heavens above lit up LA

Drunk with desire, he signals the waiter

She leans over the rail, and hears somebody say...

 

C2

I'm down here

Fishing the concrete rivers

I'm down here

With the boozers and the bums

I'm down here, in Mitzi's sipping a cold draft beer

If you're looking for me, babe

I'm down here

If you're looking for me...?

 

I'm down here

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What do you like better:

 

1.

Scratching and biting their way

Up the rungs of a plushy life

Making an epic squeeze play

To find their god, both man and wife

 

or 2.

Scratching and biting their way

Up the rungs of their own success story

Making an epic squeeze play

And Lotus Land, their personal quarry

 

Lotus Land or City of Angels or Lotusville or The Southland

 

Or:

 

And underneath, their personal quarry

And down below, their personal quarry

And under foot, their personal quarry

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Scratching and biting their way

Up the rungs of a plushy life

Making an epic squeeze play

To find their god, both man and wife


Life north of the Hollywood Freeway

Wanna bail the Silverlake Reservoir

The Sky Bar's a straight downhill shot,

Up Sunset Boulevard


Up the Mondrian Hotel elevator

They take in the heavens above lit up LA

Drunk with desire, he signals the waiter

She leans over the railing, and hears somebody say...


I'm down here

Fishing the concrete rivers

I'm down here

With the boozers and the bums

I'm down here, in Mitzi's sipping a cold draft beer

If you're looking for me, babe

I'm down here

 

 

This is coming along really nicely

 

I really like the "elevator... drunk with desire, he signals the waiter." That makes for a great rhyme and great line given the context of the song.

 

The only line I'm not 100% sold on is "Making an epic squeeze play." I'm not sure why.

 

One more idea to toy with is instead of looking for their god, maybe they see themselves as gods

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This is coming along really nicely


I really like the "elevator... drunk with desire, he signals the waiter." That makes for a great rhyme and great line given the context of the song.


The only line I'm not 100% sold on is "Making an epic squeeze play." I'm not sure why.


One more idea to toy with is instead of looking for their god, maybe they see themselves as gods

 

 

I'm thinking of changing the "looking for their god" verse to:

 

Scratching and biting their way

Up the rungs of their own success story

Making an epic squeeze play

And Lotus Land, their personal quarry

 

And the reason epic squeeze play doesn't quite sit is... I guess, because it's not really a squeeze play. That refers to a specific type of power move based on the baseball play, sacrifice bunt, runner on 3rd. And really, that's too much speculative detail for these guys. It doesn't really ring true. I liked the sound of it until you brought it up. You're right, thanks.

 

It does sound like young, greedy LA speak. But it's roots are thin... good call.

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To ditch: Making an epic squeeze play

 

 

Scratching and biting their way

Up the rungs of their own success story

A couple a' wannabe birds of prey

And Lotus Land, their personal quarry

 

Or

 

Scratching and biting their way

Up the rungs of their own success story

A couple a' wannabe birds of prey

And underfoot's just personal inventory

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OK...

 

 

Updated again:

 

V1

They built a tower, brick made with fire

They built into the stratosphere

Level by level, higher and higher

A ladder to the heavens, took them 47 years

 

Then one day a couple, set out to touch the hand of God

A young man and his greedy wife

Eager feet on stairs of sod

They climbed into the night

 

The man complained, girl aren't you tired?

She kept climbing tier by tier

Cause God can grant her all the gold she desires (then she hears 'im)

If you're looking for me, I'm down here

 

C1

I'm down here

In the mud of the river bed

I'm down here

In the rushes and the bramble

I'm down here, bathing in waters clean and clear

If you're looking for me

I'm down here

 

V2

Life north of the Hollywood Freeway

And when they bail the Silverlake Reservoir

The Sky Bar's a straight... downhill shot,

Up Sunset Boulevard

 

Scratching and biting their way

Up the rungs of their own success story

A couple a' wannabe birds of prey

And underfoot's just personal inventory

 

Up the Mondrian Hotel elevator

Rooftop cocktails in the heavens above lit up LA

Drunk with desire, he signals the waiter

She leans over the rail, and hears somebody say...

 

C2

I'm down here

Fishing the concrete rivers

I'm down here

With the boozers and the bums

I'm down here, in Mitzi's sipping a cold draft beer

If you're looking for me, babe

I'm down here

If you're looking for me...?

 

I'm down here

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OK...



Updated again:


V1

They built a tower, brick made with fire

They built into the stratosphere

Level by level, higher and higher

A ladder to the heavens, took them 47 years


Then one day a couple, set out to touch the hand of God

A young man and his greedy wife

Eager feet on stairs of sod

They climbed into the night


The man complained, girl aren't you tired?

She kept climbing tier by tier

Cause God can grant her all the gold she desires (then she hears 'im)

If you're looking for me, I'm down here


C1

I'm down here

In the mud of the river bed

I'm down here

In the rushes and the bramble

I'm down here, bathing in waters clean and clear

If you're looking for me

I'm down here


V2

Life north of the Hollywood Freeway

And when they bail the Silverlake Reservoir

The Sky Bar's a straight... downhill shot,

Up Sunset Boulevard


Scratching and biting their way

Up the rungs of their own success story

A couple a' wannabe birds of prey

And underfoot's just personal inventory


Up the Mondrian Hotel elevator

Rooftop cocktails in the heavens above lit up LA

Drunk with desire, he signals the waiter

She leans over the rail, and hears somebody say...


C2

I'm down here

Fishing the concrete rivers

I'm down here

With the boozers and the bums

I'm down here, in Mitzi's sipping a cold draft beer

If you're looking for me, babe

I'm down here

If you're looking for me...?


I'm down here

 

 

Cool! I think you've reached the point where you need to stop re-writing. Go track it

 

 

Do you already have an idea how you want to do this one musically? If you're interested in hearing some let me know

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Cool! I think you've reached the point where you need to stop re-writing. Go track it



Do you already have an idea how you want to do this one musically? If you're interested in hearing some let me know

 

 

I'd love to hear ideas on tracking.

 

My thoughts so far. A cross between The Good the Bad and the Ugly and Leonard Cohen. hoo-haa! Spring verb, tremolo guitars, slowish moody tempo, dark sonics, brushes on drums then sticks in the chorus. Low register in the voice. Loooow...

 

What are you hearing?

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I'd love to hear ideas on tracking.


My thoughts so far. A cross between The Good the Bad and the Ugly and Leonard Cohen. hoo-haa! Spring verb, tremolo guitars, slowish moody tempo, dark sonics, brushes on drums then sticks in the chorus. Low register in the voice. Loooow...


What are you hearing?

 

 

Have you ever listened to Devendra Banheart?

 

I was thinking his kind of strum happy acoustic guitar on the chorus juxtaposition-ed (sp?) against a different feel on the verses.

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Have you ever listened to Devendra Banheart?


I was thinking his kind of strum happy acoustic guitar on the chorus juxtaposition-ed (sp?) against a different feel on the verses.

 

 

I haven't heard of uh... I won't try to spell that till I have to. I'll look him or her up. And yeah, the juxt chorus is very possible. I've got to get a mood going. If I can work a contrast it would be great. If it pulls too mush, I won't. But yeah, very possible I'd take it there. Off to google... that person...

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I haven't heard of uh... I won't try to spell that till I have to. I'll look him or her up. And yeah, the juxt chorus is very possible. I've got to get a mood going. If I can work a contrast it would be great. If it pulls too mush, I won't. But yeah, very possible I'd take it there. Off to google... that person...

 

 

He has alot of really weird {censored}, but this is kind of what I was thinking of

 

[video=youtube;PhW7FLo6peU]

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Yeah, his stuff is kinda too hippie for me. It's all "born with sunshine in his hair". Which is fine but... not me. I came up making fun of those guys. Reminds me of Africa Child in Get Him To the Greek. Now they're back. :) I do like Feel Just Like a Child. Cool groove.

 

But I think I'm going a little closer to this below but with a lot of atmosphere and production tricks to evoke a modern spaghetti western tale sort of deal.

 

[video=youtube;Zc_dgbCHs58]

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