Members John Sayers Posted January 4, 2008 Members Share Posted January 4, 2008 Steve Wonder is performing in Japan. As the applause dies from his first song he hears a voice calling "play jazz chord, play jazz chord!". He ignores it but finally after hearing it after every song he nods to the band and they blow 10 minutes of pure jazz. As the applause dies he still hears "play jazz chord, play jazz chord" Frustrated he asks what song the person is referring to and could he please sing it. The voice sings I jazz chord to say I ruv you I jazz chord to say I care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members John Sayers Posted January 4, 2008 Author Members Share Posted January 4, 2008 If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never say its not quite as good as his mothers ..then buy a dog. If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want ... ..then buy a dog. If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies ..then buy a dog. If you want someone who is content to get on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores ..then buy a dog ! If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually .. ..then buy a dog. BUT, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness ., ..then buy a cat! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members deanmass Posted January 4, 2008 Members Share Posted January 4, 2008 From an older movie that I re-watched this weekend.. A buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says ' Make me one with everything' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 3shiftgtr Posted January 5, 2008 Members Share Posted January 5, 2008 Funny that I first heard this joke at a gig in '89. Forgot all about it until a tenor player told it to me at a gig last week. How many tenor players does it take to screw in a light bulb? 25; 1 to screw it in and the other 24 to argue about how Michael Brecker would have done it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mayorstoner1 Posted January 5, 2008 Members Share Posted January 5, 2008 Guy walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says ' This is the pig I have sex with, when you have a headache . . His girlfriend says, ' I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot .' Guys says, 'I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you, . .' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bbach Posted January 5, 2008 Members Share Posted January 5, 2008 One of my customers owns a radio station in a small town a couple hours from here. He also works as a morning DJ on his station. One day when talking to him I mentioned how his voice was perfect for radio. He replied "I have the perfect face for radio too". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.