I used to be one of those "Hey hey, Listen to this part" guys.

Oh I had it bad. I would insist that people listen to the music I was into, and I would narrate it, pointing out the cool little bits...maybe add some historical context...ugh. One of the blessing/curses of getting older is you do gain more control of those tendencies but you also gain perhaps a bit too much clarity about the way you were...and can still be on occasion.

I mean I grew out of it long ago. But god that must have been obnoxious, interrupting people's conversations to point out a bass line. Drink and smoke didn't help I am sure, 'cause for all their (IMO) virtues those agents do tend to make the inner goings on seem so revelatory and urgent--precisely why they're such good therapy in moderation...

It is rare now I even passively DJ or make a request at a party or gathering, let alone serve as an aggressive and unsolicited liaison between people and the experience of music.

For obvious reasons, I have been perceived by friends and such as being perhaps a bit on the, uh, over-analytical side and self-involved side, and that is somewhat fair, but I would have people understand, that, for me, that kind of critical behavior was really more like a spasm than anything else, an uncontrollable tangle of poorly used mental energy and unregulated emotion--it was never that I thought I knew better, or that I thought I was right and saw deeper and it was my duty to enlighten (ok maybe there was/is a bit of that)--it was that I simply didn't know how to stop it!

/confession

That would be me. I guess I must have realized nobody gave a {censored} the way I did. My musician friends still do, I think it's a musician thing.

But, I use to do this the wife all the time. Not sure why I thought she was gonna miss out by not noticing that genius two bars of delay.

I still dj to unwitting victims.

But, I use to do this the wife all the time. Not sure why I thought she was gonna miss out by not noticing that genius two bars of delay.

lol!

It probably makes more sense if you're sitting around with your band mates or perhaps your recording buddies: Hey, listen to this cool thing they do here...

I was completely obsessive when I was in junior high -- but for me at the time it was all about hi fi and the sweet mysteries of trying to capture and reproduce something like a full spectrum of sound. (Which was never doing to happen on my rig.) So I bored the pants off any adult who would listen talking about all the issues, monomaniacally. (I eschewed the company of my supposed peers, who I considered less than the dust under my feet. A feeling which appeared to be entirely mutual. )

I used to be that guy. We'd have dinner parties and I would either insist people listen to this cool part of that or, worse play half a song and then my musical ADD would kick in and I'd start pulling out records and playing this song or that.

Finally my wife pulled me aside about 22 years ago and said, ever so gently, "Honey...no one but you gives a crap and when you do that you're REALLLLLY annoying. Knock it off."

Ha ha, thank god for wives! And you know what I think it is? What maturity (or something like it) has taught me is that it is not my enthusiasm for music that is the problem, nor necessarily importuning with music and opinions; it is the presumption that I am hearing things others don't that makes people bristle--for some reason, when you express a critical judgment, people feel it is didactic, when oftentmes all you're attempting to do is express a real enthusiastic perception you're something. The last thing you'd want to do is imply that only you listen so deeply.

I learned this about myself from being on the other side, from witnessing how I bristle at being taught and then reconciling that with my own propensity for teaching...and that's when I thought to myself, "yo, chill , people go'n think you're an *sshole."

Yep.

I was also the guy that would crank the car stereo up really loud with the windows down in traffic so everyone could know how cool I was by the tunes I had cranked.

It was only years later that I realized 1) all anyone could really hear from my {censored}ty 40 watt Kenwood car stereo with 6x9" speakers was the cymbals and other high end instruments and 2) like my other endeavors to turn people on to my coolness, people found it far more annoying than cool.

Yep. I was also the guy that would crank the car stereo up really loud with the windows down in traffic so everyone could know how cool I was by the tunes I had cranked. It was only years later that I realized 1) all anyone could really hear from my {censored}ty 40 watt Kenwood car stereo with 6x9" speakers was the cymbals and other high end instruments and 2) like my other endeavors to turn people on to my coolness, people found it far more annoying than cool.

I can't tell you how sad it is that you have been able to so succinctly describe one of my most glaring social flaws (an impulse I mostly got the best of some twenty odd years ago). Although I have to say that my Kenwood car stereo sounded quite good, all things considered, if I do say so myself. It was all about getting the right speakers and putting them in the right place with the right mounting and materials. Which I had my knowledgeable good buddies at some soulless discount stereo joint [i want to say the late but not necessarily lamented Leo's] install for me.

Anyhow, no doubt folks thought I was incredibly cool blasting Captain Beefheart, Magazine, and the Buzzcocks over their own meager car radio's Boston or Duran Duran, since, without doubt, they instantly saw the grievous error in their culture choices and immediately headed off to the local Wherehouse to ask for, You know, that gravel voiced guy who sings about 'Licking my decals off'... you know the guy I mean?

I just toss the whole thing out there, unexplained. I toss in a disc I like, and see if anyone notices. Often, they do

I just toss the whole thing out there, unexplained. I toss in a disc I like, and see if anyone notices. Often, they do

Well, and that's the right way. The high road--out of respect to the music you love, if not to your friends and family.

I used to think I liked Magpel and all his well written and well thought-out posts.

However, now that I know he used to be one of THOSE "Holier than thou I appreciate music way more than you do" guys, I m just so disappointed.

Like sex offienders these guys can never really change their horrific thoughts and behavior- its alway lurking just under the surface.

Now if you will excuse me Im off to listen to my most rare pressings of the most amazing music that Im sure you've never heard and would not understand.

--------------------

On a serious note some groups seem to spawn highly dedicated fans who tend to think like that. Pink Floyd, Dylan and the Dead come to mind.

lol. Ha, you know, I am convinced that "it's all good " means nothing more than "I don't like it, but why argue about it?"

I used to think I liked Magpel and all his well written and well thought-out posts. However, now that I know he used to be one of THOSE "Holier than thou I appreciate music way more than you do" guys, I m just so disappointed. Like sex offienders these guys can never really change their horrific thoughts and behavior- its alway lurking just under the surface. Now if you will excuse me Im off to listen to my most rare pressings of the most amazing music that Im sure you've never heard and would not understand. -------------------- On a serious note some groups seem to spawn highly dedicated fans who tend to think like that. Pink Floyd, Dylan and the Dead come to mind.

I've noticed something about showing others the music you love.

If I were to set up the listening experience for my wife, for instance, "Check this out. It's just great. Listen to the lyrics and how the music totally encapsulates their meaning. And check the strings on the 2nd verse just as he sings about falling, while the bass descends down but the piano just pedals through the chord insistenly... Blah, blah, blah... blah blah blah..."

Or

I just put the CD in as we drive with out a word. 10 minutes later, "Who is this, I love it."

I've never tried to push any music on anyone except my kids. I'd have them listen to my music as I was driving them somewhere and they'd be like "Dad, your music is really bad".

Now I'll be in their car and they have a cd in and all of sudden some old Beatles song comes on or maybe "Smoke on the water" depending on which kid I'm with.