OT: miserable

:( :(

God damn.....i'm sitting here, all alone, drunk as {censored}, on a SATURDAY NIGHT!!! browsing the internet like some goddamn troll. i've been here for a while (4 months) but i still havent made any friends. The people here, i just can't really relate to them. They pale in comparison to the friends i had back home. I feel like i'm stuck in this abysmall black hole, nobody ever accomplishes anything in this town (economically depressed), and i feel like as long as i'm here, i'll never accomplish anything. Like i'm just going through the motions, until i can die. Like the only purpose in waking up and going through the day, is so i'm one day closer to dying, and finishing my do-nothing life. It's not too late to go the scholastic path, but that will probably be the death of my music aspirations. I mean....do you really think someone like mraia could leave for 6 months to live in a van and play metal throughout {censored}ty bars across america?

Nothing has meaning anymore. All the good times i had, are just faded memories, meaningless......i'm never gonna be able to go back home again.

And to make things worse, i found out my friend is going off to humboldt university, to become a biotech engineer. And after she graduates, she'll join greenpeace for a while. So it's guaranteed i'll never see her again.

sorry to {censored} the board up with complaining and whining, i just need to get this {censored} off my chest......i'm miserable, and having a {censored}ty night.

Things to think about, now that it's Sunday.

4 months is not a very long time to adjust to a new locale, especially one that is on the opposite side of the continent. I assume that you were born and raised on the West Coast. Having spent a lifetime with a certain set of values is gonna make adjusting a long process. Give it more time.

If it's really not too late to go the scholastic route, DO IT! There's no reason you have to give up your musical aspirations just because you go to college. In fact, you may find that your musical options actually improve. Even if you're not going to be a music major, there's no reason you can't go check out the music bldg. every now and then. Find some cats that may be willing to jam with you, or better still, teach you some stuff! Of course, there's always the campus bulletin board. I'd bet there's always guys looking for drummers.

Yeah, if you decide not to go, life will be just "get up, go to work, come home, go to sleep." day after day. I know....that's what happened to me...for over 30 years....until I woke up and decided to pursue my passion.

Lastly, don't give up on your biotech friend. It's called 'correspondance'. Don't lose the connection. The rest of your life is a very long time. You will see her again, if you make the effort to keep the connection going. Again, experience has taught me that lesson.....too late.

It's a brand new day.....with brand new beers to drink! :D

don't know what to tell.........try new things.

Clubs, church, drugs, job, etc.........

Meet people.

Off topic, but my sister goes to Humbolt........hope your friend likes hippies and weed and extreme liberalism.

Good luck with everything bro.

Some thoughts from a random stranger on the internet:

Anything that begins with "after four years of college, I'm gonna join greenpeace..." is -not- guaranteed.

The only point in my life I ever had enough time to go trapsing through the country playing music was when I was in college (and not studying music, BTW).

Go read some books, eh... there are some really great perspectives on how bleak {censored} can get-- or at least watch good movies. I just screened "The Seventh Seal" to a class that I'm teaching, and it has a much better answer to your existential problems that most people could ever give.

While greenpeace is a pipedream for most people, it is guaranteed that in the US, right now, if you are young and not way in debt, then you can prettyy much do whatever and still recover... so take advange of that fact and live it up before the baby-boomers bust up the US and toss us into another great depression.

Originally posted by aqualung211 :( :( God damn.....i'm sitting here, all alone, drunk as {censored}, on a SATURDAY NIGHT!!! browsing the internet like some goddamn troll. i've been here for a while (4 months) but i still havent made any friends. The people here, i just can't really relate to them. They pale in comparison to the friends i had back home. I feel like i'm stuck in this abysmall black hole, nobody ever accomplishes anything in this town (economically depressed), and i feel like as long as i'm here, i'll never accomplish anything. Like i'm just going through the motions, until i can die. Like the only purpose in waking up and going through the day, is so i'm one day closer to dying, and finishing my do-nothing life. It's not too late to go the scholastic path, but that will probably be the death of my music aspirations. I mean....do you really think someone like mraia could leave for 6 months to live in a van and play metal throughout {censored}ty bars across america? Nothing has meaning anymore. All the good times i had, are just faded memories, meaningless......i'm never gonna be able to go back home again. And to make things worse, i found out my friend is going off to humboldt university, to become a biotech engineer. And after she graduates, she'll join greenpeace for a while. So it's guaranteed i'll never see her again. sorry to {censored} the board up with complaining and whining, i just need to get this {censored} off my chest......i'm miserable, and having a {censored}ty night.

Hey Aqua. Your sounding really down, man. I dont blame you, though. Moving to a new area can be a drag, especially if you dont fit in.

Look, we've had some major differences over the last year, but I realize that your a smart, smart guy, kind of stuck in a bad situation. If you dont mind, I'd like to give you a little advice. Im not trying to come off as an authority, but maybe it will help out a little. Feel free to tell me to {censored} off.

Your right. Its not too late for school, and most likely, its your only salvation. Your also right, that I couldnt pack it in and tour in a van for 6 months playing metal. I tried it 20 something years ago, and it wasnt for me. Takes a lot of inner strength and fortitude that I simply didnt have. Probably still dont.

But you do. IF you want to. It can be music, school, or both. But only one of those choices guarantees you a way out of whatever town your in, and thats school. True, its not cool. True, you can look at it as a sell-out, if you want. But in the end, you will have a degree, which nobody can take from you, and with the brains you have, you can have a career. Could be anything. Doctor lawyer indian chief. Whatever.

You can still have music, but the DW's and the Willyrays are few and far between on this forum, and the sacrifices these guys have made to get them to where they are now are tremendous.

I wish I could help you out a little more than just spouting stuff out at you that youve no doubt heard before. But its the truth.

ITS NEVER TOO LATE. School might be the ultimate sacrifice for you, but it will pay off. 17 is way to young to consider yourself washed up.

Now, take this with a grain of salt. Remember, we're all friends here, so dont come after me. But...your difficulty making friends there MIGHT have something to do with you being a bit of a....ummm...hardass. (ducks and runs for cover, arms covering head).

TRY and lighten up a bit. Be a little more accepting. Its taken a bunch of us a long time to get past some of your ways, and we dont even have to deal with an angry Aqua standing right in front of us, seething and foaming at the mouth. Im saying this with affection, not malice, pal. I mean it. Mellow out a bit, and your {censored} might turn.

I hope things work out for you. Dont hesitate to ask any of the guys here for advice. Im sure you'll get good stuff.

Feel better. You have options a lot of people dont have. You'll make the right decision.

Aqua I'm in school and I am 33, I am old compared to you. I am not studing music but am still giving this a go.

My point is if you join something you might meet new people, and like Willy said you have us, for advice.

I think this is when someone says group hug.

Everything will be all right;)

Hate to see you feeling so down - it's rough. Hopefully you're not into a real deep depression, though getting drunk by yourself isn't a terrific sign - but I'm not judging you, just feeling badly that you're in this situation.

All I can really say is that, through self examination and through watching my son's 1st 3 years, I can really say with confidence that all phases in life are just that - phases. Phases have beginnings and, most importantly, they have endings. How you get to the end of this phase is up to you, but it will be a lot easier on your psyche if you go after it yourself - find ways to get out of this funk instead of staying at home on these message boards - not trying to get rid of you, but if you're on these boards less because you're out having fun and enjoying life, then I think a lot of people here would be happy for you.

Hey, aqua -

There's absolutely no reason that going to college has to mean the end of your musical aspirations. Like others have said, it could just be the beginning. You never know what's behind a door until you open it. Some of the greatest bands in the world are made up of guys that met in college, and not always studying music.

One piece of advice; few things in this world will come to you, you have to go out and grab them.

100% Wholehearted Agreement

Know yourself. Discover just what type of person you are, your strengths and weaknesses, and then exploit them.

Create yourself everytime you wake up. Do what you need to do to get what you need, or work harder to get what you WANT.

I dont know a bigger waste of brainpower than sittin on your couch on a Saturday night, alone and drunk, thinking of all the things youd rather be doing.

Make it happen. Your too {censored}in smart to waste away on a couch.

it's perfectly cool to spend a saturday night home alone drunk and feeling sorry for yourself once in a while. don't sweat it.

go to college. you can write well, you're already ahead of 80%+ of first year students.

you will make friends with a modicum of effort. you will find musicians to play with. (most likely NOT in the music dept, BTW.)

With a little more effort, you will make a {censored} ton of friends.

college is your best bet for getting outta the town that's depressing you so.

THoffman,sitting feeling sorry for yourself once in a while is fine, I suppose. I meant that it shouldnt be something thats done on a regular basis, which it seems Aqua does.

Any action that is gonna result in a 17 year old boy saying that hes resigned to just wait for life to end is the wrong action to take.

Like I said, the kids too smart for that.

Yes, Aqua...I can't add anything, that hasn't already been said here!!!...TONS of great advice.....

I can only echo everyone's advice...."Don't give in, don't give up"!

Step out, and grab it by the horns!!! Whatever it is...Grab it by the horns, and ride it for life!!!

agreed, but I've been there before, and I doubt he's feeling quite so poorly today.

{censored}, I'll be 30 next month and I still spend a day once in a while feeling sorry for myself.

lung seems to me mildly bipolar sometimes. he'll be fine. Hopefully he'll make decisions that increase his future options, rather than decrease them.

Try not to become an alcoholic as well. That would be an unfortunate developement.

Aqua, the last one, then I won't bother you anymore.

You may think (hopefully not), "Hey DW, it's easy for you to say. You've got everything going your way, you live in (so-called) paradise and you get to play music all the time."

Well, I'll tell ya, there are days where everything is NOT going my way (ask Jacarual - she'll vouch for that! ). I sometimes sit in my chair, drink in hand, thinking, "man...did I throw away everything I built up these last 32 years?" (more often than you might think) I had everything most folks hope for - big house in a nice neighborhood, pretty wife (she's like me, doesn't look anywhere near her age), good job, etc.....and I gave it all up to try to be a professional drummer. "Am I just kidding myself?" And I'll be honest - it sometimes drives me to tears.

But then I wake up the next day, and having released all those demons, I feel a lot better and tell myself "NAAAAH. I did the right thing." On average, I'm much happier than I've been since I was your age.

Like Hof said, it's ok to feel blue every now and then. Perhaps it's even therapeutic. (sp?) But tomorrow is another day, and who knows what life has in store for us. The adventure is in finding out!

Shutting up now.

"Tara! Home. I'll go home. And I'll think of some way to get him back. After all... tomorrow is another day."

Hey Aqua, my 4 years of college were a great experience, especially musically. I played in a number of bands, did many gigs, did my fair share of music fans ( ), played open mike nights, made great friends who I still keep in touch with, and really came to find out who I was as a person.

Your age sucked for me too, by the way. Late teens and early twenties are a real tough transition from kid/student to "adult"/working man, but things get better.

If you get the opportunity to pile into a 15 pack with a group of guys who share your love of music, go for it. Even if nothing comes from it, the memories you have will last a lifetime.

We've all been there, man. And it means a lot to me that you're willing to be this open with us. All the best.

I agree with Rockbass about you being so open with us.

Its a good community here, only interested in helping.

Lets give Aqua the credit for being so honest.

And you guys are absolutely correct. Tomorrow is another day.

30 was tougher for me than 40. My condolences.

Happy Pre-Birthday,though . Make sure you treat yourself well that day! Good meal with friends, good dessert, some celebratory drinks and maybe a little alone time with the missus.

I'm sorry for bringing up the whole thing Aqua. I'm in the same rut right now. All of my friends are working and not in the area. Husband travels, 13 year old is getting too old for needing me, home alone alot with nothing to do but clean up after my dogs. Rural town with nothing happening except people being shot every day. One good thing is you are a drummer and you can pound the sh!t out of your drums to feel better. Then you come on here and vent with your real friends. Even though we don't know each other, it's great friends and fun, and probably know each other better than some friends that see each other. Read everything they've all written to you if you don't believe that. Keep your chin up! And you can have my beer - I'm a liquor babe!

Originally posted by mraia 30 was tougher for me than 40. My condolences.

thanks anyway, but condolences schmondolences-- 30's gonna wish it never met ME. bring it on.

(goes into the bathroom & lies in empty tub, weeping silently)

LOL

Right, your not stuck with 30, 30's stuck with you!!

Good man, cool attitude. I take back my condolences and offer congratulations:thu:

Don't sweat it, I hit 30 a few months ago and it never hit back.

Knocked the {censored} out of me. Only took me ten years to recover,though.

Kidding. You'll live.