OT: nOObs Say the Darndest Things..

Post your favorite, funniest, most memorable or just plain ridiculous noob quotes. Not only forum quotes, wherever you've heard them.

Where do I start? Just this month I read (not directed at me...):

"The Spaun snare would be ONE MILLION times better without the holes"

--Nothing in drumming is 5 times better than anything else, let alone 1 million

"I would break my arms trying to play a 7-pc kit"

--I guess if you were 3 feet tall and flailed really hard

"The 23" kick drum is a revolutionary product that has been in demand for years"

-- For those too stupid to tune a 22 or a 24. Great product for neurotics and snobs.

"How can anyone hit a six inch drum???"

--How do You hit a 4" ride cymbal bell or a 6" splash?

"What do you need an 8" tom for?"

-- Same reason I need an 8"...oh nevermind

"DW made the thinner shelled drums en vogue in the 90's..."

--Yeah, never mind Hayman, Tama, Pearl, Tempus, Sonor and all the other companies that made them in the 80's. The "trend" kicked off in 1982.

Most as you know are almost ridiculous to the point they are either funny or incredibly sad.

But, the funniest thing I can remember on here is when the other Marko, and I'm not beating on him or making fun of him as I really like him, is when he got his new Ludwigs and posted the picture with his mounted toms mounted upside down-. I guess his buddy set the kit up, but it was a funny freakin' picture.

That was classic!

or the classic "Travis Barker is the greatest drummer in the past 35 years!!!"

He is guys...why don't you believe me

"my 14x5.5 sounds just like my 13x3 but with balls"

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"Funk is the only way my friend...

Once you understand it, you will understand what it feels like to be a dirty prostitute, because funk is dirty!!!!!!! w00t!"

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"i used to play like metal and rock, im not a goth, im pretty mellowed out and am opened minded about music, but i was listenin to jjj all you aussies last night to roots and whatever the rest is called and i heard this song, i think it was some sorta surfer tune and now iv decided that thats my kinda genre but i am gonna throw in some funky beats"

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"well im a metal guy, i love to play some heavy metal and then hardcore stuff too... um metalcore i guess u could say haha, but brutal stuff with heavy break downs is what i like and im gonna start a band like that, so im looking forward to getting a new kit and im undecisive."

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"dude, learn Regurgitatae Lullaby for the Born Dead by Beneath the Massacre and then we can talk"

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"How would you know how I am acting?? I am on a forum dude."

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"I have to add a comment to what you said here. I sure hope that they are better than most people on this forum if they are vaguely known wether its for the people who think they suck or the ones that think they are good, what im trying to say is you cannot compare a known band to a membor on this forum of course they are better than most on this forum (or perhaps we have some rockstars in the making) but what everyone else is trying to say is they suck for were they are at in the music world. Comparing them to my band or someone on this forum is like comparing a porsche to a dead baby, theres nothing to compare both bands are in different stages of their musical careers so to say something like that shows ignorance and stupidity. (nothing personal but the truth hurts)"

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"tbh i dont like your vocalist though, he does that thing where he crouches down when he screams.

He does it for his diaphragm. He says when he crouches and gets low, he can really push it all out better."

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Can you help me tune my drums to my cymbals?

Can you help me tune my drums to my cymbals?

I didn't even dare peek at that thread....

Can I make a doombox?? iono if the guy's a noob but its funny as hell.

"what is a noob?":p

:lol::lol:

Here is a real belly laugh:

"I was looking for a deeper drum for quite a while, mainly becasue I loved the sound of the well-known Tama Bell Brass. Since I don't have 1,000 dollars for a snare, I looked for deep snares just like it. I came across the Vinnie Paul Sig. Snare, and fell in love. Even though it's 100% maple, it's still as loud and proud as the bell brass."

A conversation with the "headlining" band's drummer at my last show:

him - "hey man, awesome set, how did you get your low tom to sound so deep?"

me - "I tuned it low..."

"oh...well yeah, but it sounded so HUGE, how did you get it so loud?"

"uhm... well I aimed the mic a little bit more towards the rim to get some of the sustain so I don't know why it sounded so loud to you."

"YOUR KIT HAD MICROPHONES ON IT???? OHHHHHHHHHH!!"

"..."

according to urbandictionary:

A noob or n00b is someone that lacks intellegance or common sense, most people think that noob is a word used only in the online gaming world, but in reality it is becoming an ever popular word with teenage society.

a noob could be simply a level 100 running round shouting ''WTF DO I GO!?'' or someone calling someone else a noob and then getting hit with a brick, anyone can call anyone a noob, but normally they are noobs themselves

*gets shot with chaingun*

"this game is no good, you all suck noobish balls you stupid noobs!*

Short for newby or nubie which like if you shortened it would sound like nub 'cuz that's how you spell tit lOLZ.

Here is a real belly laugh: "I was looking for a deeper drum for quite a while, mainly becasue I loved the sound of the well-known Tama Bell Brass. Since I don't have 1,000 dollars for a snare, I looked for deep snares just like it. I came across the Vinnie Paul Sig. Snare, and fell in love. Even though it's 100% maple, it's still as loud and proud as the bell brass. "

We may need a ruling from the judges on this one, but I think quotes from PDF should be off limits--it's like shooting fish in a barrel . . .

1.) "Rap is music!"

2.) "Travis Barker rox my sox!"

3.) "I'd like to get some humbucklers for my guitar"

do you have a mirror handy?

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We may need a ruling from the judges on this one, but I think quotes from PDF should be off limits--it's like shooting fish in a barrel . . .

Yeah, it's so easy...it's almost cruel!

We have a winnah!

Hi Johnny, in whatever rat hole you are hiding in!

"Home of the WORLD'S BEST ELECTRIC MICE."

"you aint nothin unless you have my worlds greatest most amazing electric brushes!!!"

i came out of the womb pwning n00bs. {censored} i was pwning n00bs in the womb.

Is that like "Regulating chumps?"