Members EightString Posted February 15, 2010 Members Share Posted February 15, 2010 http://jam.canoe.ca/Music/Artists/S/Swift_Taylor/2010/02/11/12838936-qmi.html February 14, 2010 Our worst singers of all time By DARRYL STERDAN, QMI Agency Madonna, left, Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger, centre, and Taylor Swift, right, all made QMI writer Darryl Sterdan's list. (WENN/Keystone photos) It was only a matter of time -- but honestly, I'm amazed it took so long. Two weeks ago, Taylor Swift finally cemented her status as the queen of country-pop by winning four Grammys, including album of the year. For someone who has sold as many CDs as she has, it was inevitable. Equally inevitable: The backlash. Thanks primarily to her stunningly tone-deaf Grammy performance, Swift ended up being the big story on Grammy night -- but not in the way she had wished. Critical opinion of her three-song mini-set -- which included a mercifully brief duet with Stevie Nicks on Fleetwood Mac's Rhiannon -- ranged from the somewhat diplomatic "painfully out of tune" to the slightly more pointed "off-key caterwauling." Even my e-mail in-box was swiftly stuffed with missives from coworkers, friends and readers using terms like "wretched," "gawdawful" and "couldn't carry a tune in a bucket." And the comments in the Twitterverse were even nastier (my favourite: "God hopes Taylor Swift does not thank Him"). But for those who just noticed Swift leaves something to be desired as a live singer, I have one question: Where have you been? Guess you weren't watching when she butchered Brenda Lee's I'm Sorry on last year's Grammy nominations concert (and yeah, she oughta be sorry). Presumably, you missed all the sour notes she spewed atop Def Leppard's Pour Some Sugar on Me during their duet at last summer's CMT Music Awards. And there's plenty more where they came from; if you're a glutton for punishment, scour YouTube and you can find ample proof that while Swift may be pretty, personable and a passable dancer, she is hardly the most skilled vocalist. Amazingly, even her record label agrees with the last part of that assessment. "Maybe she's not the best technical singer," admitted Big Machine CEO Scott Borchetta, blaming Swift's performance (this time) on technical problems, "but she's probably the best emotional singer ... the undisputed best communicator that we've got. When she says something, when she sings something, when she feels something, it affects more people than anybody else." He didn't stop there: "She is the voice of this generation," he claimed. That's right: Taylor Swift is today's Bob Dylan. And you know what? Ludicrous as that statement sounds, he's absolutely right. Swift truly is the voice of this generation -- a generation of coddled kids who believe fame and fortune are their birthright, talent and originality are not required, and paying your dues is for losers who are too ugly to get on reality TV. Of course, Swift is hardly the worst musical offender of Generation Y Not Me 2. Or the first poor singer to inflict herself on the pop-culture landscape. From the drowning-sackful-of-cats wailing of Yoko Ono (fast forward to the 1:40 mark if you dare) to the homeless-hobo rumblings of Tom Waits, there are plenty of famous folks, legitimate artists and even true geniuses out there whose vocal chops wouldn't make it past the first round on Idol. With that in mind, and because people love snarky lists, here's a roundup of some of the most melody-challenged singers of today -- and all time. 10: The Disney / Idol / Reality TV hordes Ashley and Heidi and Bo and Zac and Hilary and Vanessa and Serena -- for the most part, I can't tell them apart. Nor am I even vaguely interested in doing so. Life is too short, you know? 9. Justin Bieber Sure, the kid is just 15. But here's the thing: He sounds like it. He may have potential. But right now, he's just a goofy hairstyle and a marketing scheme. 8. Lil Wayne A great rapper? Indisputably. But as a singer -- especially on his mediocre new "rock" CD Rebirth -- Wayne singlehandedly justifies the existence of AutoTune. 7. Paris Hilton The biggest surprise about how lousy Paris Hilton's album was? The fact that she didn't just hire somebody far more talented to sing for her. 6. Ashlee Simpson Actually, who knows? Maybe the young Simspon can wail like Celine Dion. But ever since she got busted lip-syncing on Saturday Night Live, nobody would believe her anyway. 5. Britney Spears Like Madonna, Brit-Brit has done pretty well with a minimum of vocal talent. But when you choose to lip-synch live so you can pull off dance moves, you're just not a singer. 4. Madonna Give her credit: She's taken a meagre amount of ability and parlayed it into an empire. But seriously, nobody is going to mistake her for Beyonce anytime soon. 3. Anthony Kiedis The Red Hot Chili Peppers frontman is truly a triple threat: He can barely hold a note, he's a terrible rapper and his lyrics are rhyming-dictionary gobbledygook. 2. Chad Kroeger Nickelback's frontman may not have invented that post-grunge moose-in-heat bellow he relies on, but nobody does it better than he does. And by better, I mean worse. 1. Taylor Swift She's sold millions of albums. She's won four Grammys. She's dated a Jonas brother and a Twilight star. The one thing this 20-year-old superstar can't seem to do is sing live. The Best of the Worst: WTF? Sometimes, you have to wonder what people are thinking. The B-52's Bjork Wild Man Fischer Nina Hagen William Hung Jandek Florence Foster Jenkins Yoko Ono Sanjaya Tiny Tim Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Shame: Most of them are getting older, but not much better. Randy Bachman Billy Corgan Jennifer Lopez Courtney Love Linda McCartney Shane MacGowan Iggy Pop Axl Rose Spice Girls Ringo Starr Personality Goes a Long Way: These folks can't really sing -- but it doesn't really matter. They're still great. Captain Beefheart Kurt Cobain Bob Dylan Marianne Faithfull Billie Holiday Janis Joplin Keith Richards Patti Smith Tom Waits Neil Young Radio Killed the Video Star: TV and movie folk who should have known better. Phyllis Diller Lorne Greene Goldie Hawn Leonard Nimoy Jack Palance Joe Pesci Regis Philbin William Shatner Jack Webb Mae West Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chip39 Posted February 15, 2010 Members Share Posted February 15, 2010 somebodys got an axe to grind Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DeadNight Warrior Posted February 16, 2010 Members Share Posted February 16, 2010 Seems a somewhat misguided article to me. As much as I'm not in the slightest bit a fan of his singing or his band, I wouldn't say Chad Kroeger is one of the worst singers of our time. From what I've heard of their stuff, he can sing. Maybe he doesn't have a Freddie Mercury vocal range or anything... or maybe he does, and it just never comes out because it'd be wildly inappropriate for that style of music. Dunno, but from what I've heard (including live clips I've for some reason been linked to) he can hold a tune pretty well. That said, the "moose-in-heat bellow" description isn't entirely inaccurate. Axl Rose's voice might be {censored}ed now, but back in the day he could sing. One might not like his rather... uhh... distinct sounding higher range, but he could still sing. He didn't manage to keep his voice in any kind of workable condition for long of course. In any recent live footage I've watched, his voice just cracks me up. Bjork? Again, not a fan, but I think the writer is sorta missing the point a bit if he's concentrating on how "good" a singer she is. It'd be like looking at a Picasso and going, "Pfft... yeah, coz that's how people look. :rolleyes:":idk: Paris Hilton? Why even bother mentioning her? She's not a singer; just a (pointless) celebrity who decided to put out an album. The bigger surprise would have been if she actually could sing! For "TV and movie folk who should have known better" though, I'll give him the William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy. Ballad of Bilbo Baggins anyone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gomer Pyle Posted February 16, 2010 Members Share Posted February 16, 2010 Although I agree with most of it, Here's my thoughts on some 1 Janis Joplin--IMO an incredible singer2 Ringo Starr--He has limited range but was always on key, even on the live Beatles, one of the most recognizable voices in the world.3 Madonna--I don't know about live but she has a very nice voice on the albums.4 Axl Rose--Don't like his style or G&R but IMO he is an incredible singer.5 Jennifer Lopez--Never heard her live but her voice is beautiful on No Me Ames. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members grace_slick Posted February 16, 2010 Members Share Posted February 16, 2010 Marianne Faithfull can sing. It's just her voice that sounds...unique...hard worn...textured...but she can sing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Surrealistic Posted February 16, 2010 Members Share Posted February 16, 2010 My 2p worth: Bjork is perhaps a little idiosyncratic but to categorise her alongside Yoko is ridiculous. I love Bjork's voice. Getting to the heart of the thing - WHO says singers have to sing in a certain way? Technique, vocal gymnastics and other tricks may be very impressive but the MAIN thing in my book is putting the song across in a way that conveys the feeling of the lyric to the listener. I'd take the likes of Tom Waits, Bob Dylan and Bjork over Beyonce or Celine Dion any day of the week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cruciatus Posted February 16, 2010 Members Share Posted February 16, 2010 he overreached with this article. to me the kernel of the article should've been how Taylor Swift is a massive star in a widely listened-to genre (thus lifting her out of Tom Waits range, say) and to all appearances, cannot actually sing on-key. There's a strong meditation in there somewhere and the rest of the crap took away from it. All the other crap about Bjork and Bob Dylan was just stupid regurgitation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bostonwedding Posted February 16, 2010 Members Share Posted February 16, 2010 I think Brett Michaels of poison is the worst singer of all time.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members caeman Posted February 16, 2010 Members Share Posted February 16, 2010 Today's generation no longer require that a singer be able to sing on-key for the song to be good. That is the sum of it. It is about the emotion, the words, but the delivery being off-key somehow enhances the message of the song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members grace_slick Posted February 17, 2010 Members Share Posted February 17, 2010 I think there are no bad singers IF we know about them enough to write about them here They're obviously doing something to be known enough to be discussed. Cause anyone can be a singer...all you do is sing. *shrug* If you measure singing by pure tecnicalities, then yeah, maybe Bob Dylan and Marianne Faithfull aren't the best. But if you measure singing by personality, charm, uniqueness...they can be some of the best... In my own case, because my voice isn't overly interesting or mind blowing to the ears in terms of personality, I feel more of a pressure to be technically good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wikwox Posted February 17, 2010 Members Share Posted February 17, 2010 The great vocal put down remains: "He/she can't sing!" At the end of the day it's not technique that makes you famous, it's if people like what you do. That's why I find American Idol boring, always R&B, always polished, always near flawless. Ultimately sterile. Lists like this are worthless, the people who compile them as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members grace_slick Posted February 18, 2010 Members Share Posted February 18, 2010 Lists like this are worthless, the people who compile them as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BMTHataAILD Posted February 20, 2010 Members Share Posted February 20, 2010 Cam Pipes of 3 Inches of Blood... personally, the high pitches screaming gives me such a head ache >_ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members EightString Posted February 20, 2010 Author Members Share Posted February 20, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shashi Posted February 20, 2010 Members Share Posted February 20, 2010 Yea I don't like Justin Bieber either he is too young to get judged. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members e021708 Posted February 20, 2010 Members Share Posted February 20, 2010 i think many many many years ago. people always would sing with family and friends. there was likely no need to be a great singer or have a great voice. it was just a natural thing for people to do. it was a way to celebrate life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MusicalSchizo Posted February 21, 2010 Members Share Posted February 21, 2010 Yea I don't like Justin Bieber either he is too young to get judged. I work at a group of radio stations, including a Top-40 one and we had Justin in before he broke huge. He was nice, but sucked ass up there solo with his guitar. He could barely play and his singing was all over the place, Taylor Swift-style. Nice kid, though. I wish him success. Katy Perry, on the other hand, was AWESOME solo acoustic in that same room (our "Live Lounge"). Actually better than any live footage I've ever seen of her. Weird vocal choices, though. Like some weird cross between Bjork and Alanis Morrisette. But very consistent, on-pitch, emotional, and enjoyable.Brian V. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dnoch_higgins Posted February 21, 2010 Members Share Posted February 21, 2010 Bjork's voice is fantastic. Listen to Unravel and you'd be a liar to say her voice isn't good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BlindfoldsAside Posted February 22, 2010 Members Share Posted February 22, 2010 Am I the only one here who thinks Dave Mustaine is one of the worst singers of all time? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SBF3000 Posted February 22, 2010 Members Share Posted February 22, 2010 Swayze sang like an angel! *windbeneathmywingsstrabates* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JohnBenussi Posted February 22, 2010 Members Share Posted February 22, 2010 http://jam.canoe.ca/Music/Artists/S/Swift_Taylor/2010/02/11/12838936-qmi.html I think this laundry list of fail is so FOS because it is inclusive of people who CLEARLY aren't singers, and cannot sing in every sense of the word. Being able to sing is probably one of the easiest things to learn/do when it comes to musical talent, or learning to sing via lessons... The trick is...is to sing well, sound pleasant or unique by utilising one or more of the following: (and as always....imo:) -good breathe support -great overall control with exceptional improvisation techniques -being able to transition well in between piano, forte, head/chest voicing -vibrato control -pleasant tone -talent People like Paris Hilton *as a woman* honestly has a sexy voice... As a vocalist she fails. Taylor swift COULD be a decent vocalist if she had more variety to her palette...to me she sounds like Duff, Gomez and every other Nickalodean hack every heard to date. Lil Wayne isn't a singer... The list could go on. In regards to Springsteen... He's got something that makes up for his mediocre vocals: Stage presence and this cannot be taught or bought for that matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BigVoiceTenor Posted February 26, 2010 Members Share Posted February 26, 2010 I'm now adding Scott Stapp of CREED to the list of worst singers. I just watched his 2009 show with CREED on Palladia and he is slightly OFF pitch all the damn time. Sings like his mouth is wired shut and has poor phrasing. And he has a VERY limited range, the guy is no tenor. He's a baritone for sure. Honestly I like CREED, but Stapp cannot sing live worth a crap! Mark Tremonti however is one damn FRICKIN AWESOME guitarist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DeadNight Warrior Posted February 26, 2010 Members Share Posted February 26, 2010 Am I the only one here who thinks Dave Mustaine is one of the worst singers of all time? He's certainly not amazing, but I probably wouldn't say he's one of the worst. He is rather limited in what he can do, but I think judging him on his vocal abilities might be somewhat misguided given the context in which he does it, i.e. 80s thrash metal doesn't tend to attract the finest singers. That said, his voice is indeed one of the most irritating noises ever heard by human ears. And yes BVT, Stapp was atrocious on that. Sounds like he's trying to sing while touching the back of his mouth with the tip of his tongue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members piersonm Posted February 26, 2010 Members Share Posted February 26, 2010 I'm all for Dream Theater's singer. That dude live is the worst and like a fine opened beer, is only getting better with age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hot_karl Posted February 28, 2010 Members Share Posted February 28, 2010 that article is full of I hate people who do this {censored}. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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