Critique my song please

I registered to this forum a while ago, but haven't posted here for a long time. But this is my first time on the singing forum. To give a little background here, I been singing for a year. Practicing scales 3x a week or more. Did singing lessons for a little bit. Breathing from my diaphragm is 2nd nature.

Its called We all Die Young. I know the chorus is a little loud, eack!

http://rapidshare.com/files/280230068/die_young.mp3 Is the file.

Again Thanks!

Hey man I want to hear the song, but rapid share sucks. Please create a soundclick.com account so much better and easier. Plus no one here is going to download a song to listen to it, we would rather stream it from a site.

Sorry about that. And the cover is not the whole song.

Tell me if its good.

http://www.muziboo.com/jc71corvette/music/cover-we-all-die-young

Are you chanting over a pre-existing song by someone else? If that's you in the background, it's pretty good and I can't understand why you'd want to chant/speak over it. If you're trying to sing over someone else's recording, you need to commit to the same key and melody as the recording. Have you tried singing it solo, either a cappella or accompanying yourself? Sometimes when trying to sing along with a recording, there's some degree of inhibition that keeps the listener from hearing what YOU truly sound like. If you don't know the melody down cold, pick something you DO know and record it--even a cappella--so we can better advise you.