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Conquering stage fright...


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I have a very beautiful voice and it's much better than friends who think they have great voices who others agree with, so I'm under the wild assumption that in light of this simple fact...they would think mine better yet.

 

The problem is this...unlike a class of kindergartners in which every kid will raise his hand when you ask who can sing...I have that public fear of humiliation or something even as beautiful and strong as my voice is and I find much difficulty singing in public.

 

I cannot even sing in horrid Karaoke bars which we know bring out some really god-awful voices on a regular basis and people with tone deafness etc. etc. and I've always hated Karaoke by the way...in fact, I rather loathe it on the whole and this has nothing to do with my singing abilities or lack thereof ...I just don't find it entertaining.

 

I'd rather listen to "real" music or a live band, even a less than great live band.

 

Now I've done some public speaking and to actually some rather large audiences ranging from a dozen or a hundred to maybe a thousand and I always have butterflies but they go away after about two minutes.

 

I've done TV shows (and I cannot reveal why, but I have and this is totally not in the same realm because they were meet the press types of shows or me and a couple others in a round table discussion with a moderator and you don't even notice the cameras or look unnatural (to the point I've actually discovered..."oh my God--I was slouching that entire interview!").

 

Anyway...does anyone have any constructive solutions or ideas?

 

I know the consensus might be something like "Just do it?" but that's what stops me and I'm probably good enough to actually earn some extra money singing just for fun (if only I could have fun). I have a friend who sings and makes money at it and he says I'm a "dumbass" and "chicken{censored}" because he actually does earn money and says and knows my voice is much better and smoother and trained in ways than his...yet where his balls are apparently the size of grapefruits, mine in this arena appear to be like peanuts.

 

Any good, constructive, non-overtly critical ideas would be of substantial help.

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Ironically, regular trips to the local karaoke bar would help your problem.

 

Basically, the only way that I know of to cure stage fright is to regularly force yourself to get up on stage and perform. You may hate karaoke, but where else can you get regular exposure to audiences in such a casual setting?

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The best remody is simply to go on stage and sing. Before you go on phyc yourself up.

 

But maybe start small, sing around a camp fire with a guitar. Or at a karaoke like the others said.

 

But to slowly get out of that stage is to start slow, but eventually you need to get on a bigger stage and song infront of lots of people.

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I'll try to avoid analyzing the depths of your psyche :rolleyes:, BUT here goes: The combination of aggressive ego pronouncement here (my voice is spectacular, better than those other people...) and inability to put that spectacular voice to the test smacks of a very familiar pattern in psychotherapy. Sometimes the very grandeur of the subject's self-image encounters an unconscious fear that, well, maybe it's not all true, and the result is a BLOCK.

 

Sorry to go all therapy on you, dude, but think about lightening up a little. You're just a regular guy with a passion for singing and a good voice. Just like the rest of us. :wave: Some folks will sing better than you, some not. Go to an open mic, a karaoke bar, whatever, have a beer, and share your voice.

 

Better yet, join with other musicians--find an acoustic guitarist or a pianist who will accompany you and sing duets with you. Make it less about you and more about sharing the music and you'll find your anxiety diminishing.

 

In truth, there is no substitute for live experience, and until you get out there and sing for people, you're not a singer. Once you get out there and sing, you are a singer--no matter how good or bad your voice turns out to be. It's all good!

 

I hope that wasn't too obnoxious! Seriously, Good Luck!

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get something prepared to the point that you don't have to think or worry about it. at that point just focus on committing to sing, getting your legs up to the stage. don't think about the actual performance until you're up there.

i went bungee jumping once, and the whole time, i didn't look down or think about the jump. i just focused on the harness and crap, and then when it was time to jump, i just focused on taking a single step forward. in my mind i was scared {censored}less and i didn't think there was any way i would jump when there's nothing below me for hundreds of feet. but walking forward was easy. gravity takes care of the rest.

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This is interesting to me…when I was 15-17 or so, I thought I had the BEST voice. Some of my friends had ok voices and were in the school choir and stuff and had singing lessons, but I was better than them. And I actually WAS better, but I look back now and I am mortified by how arrogant I was! And yet, much to their immense frustration, I’d completely refuse to sing in front of them. Ever. Not even a peep of a song. Not even a note! Now I see I was nothing special, but yes, I was good.

 

I’m in no way saying you’re the same as this, but I still have, some 15 years later, this phobia about singing in front of anyone. I just feel odd, and for me anyway, 80% of it is my own self image issues. I can’t see myself as sexy, charismatic, powerful, etc. I am this nerd sort of fairly attractive girl who’s shy and quiet and uncoordinated. But to others, if I got up to do say a karaoke song or something, and “forgot” my own self image, I would perhaps appear sexy, charismatic, powerful, enigmatic, all of that stuff that I see and envy in people I idolise like Stevie Nicks, Grace Slick, etc. You know? And THAT would get rid of 80% of my stage fright / public singing phobia. Yep. Turn yourself on, so to speak! Lol.

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Yes, exactly. It’s only a song. People are only really there to have a pleasurable experience…whether it be to actively come and see YOU, in which case they already like you and are expecting a good time so…unless you absolutely SUCK you’ll be fine (and if you did suck you wouldn’t be there in the first place), or they’ve come and aren’t really that interested in listening to you or paying attention, so you can relax and just use the performance as experience and practice…

 

But yes, a little alcohol is a good thing. lol Puts things into perspective.

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Never look anyone in the eye. Focus on a spot in the center of the audience's foreheads.

 

Alternatively, find one member of the crowd who seems to be really into you and make a connection with that person.

 

On the psycho front, shyness (or in this case, stagefright) stems from self-absorption. When you can let go of the ego and realize it's not all about you, you can overcome the fear of humiliation because you'll realize no one really cares as much as you think.

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