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What's amazing is that they try to pass of a computer as a human being. Why not tell you that it's an automated system - they can't possibly beleive they're fooling anyone . . .i think it is a real person. kinda. i tried to preserve the "feel" of the chat, or the rhythm, as it were. it is very strange. clearly, they have automated stock answers that they can plug in at any time (with perfect grammar). and sometimes you'll get a wave of them. but when they have to go off the script, and fire up a few synapses... that's when it gets interesting, and they go silent for several minutes. you can almost see a confused person with a confused manager staring over her shoulder trying to figure out what kind of new account a "slayer" is. love, eor

i work at Wells Fargo and you wouldnt believe how humorous this is to me!yeah, i did a stint at a bank once, too. thankfully, i wasn't a phone bank drone. that would have been the worst. love, eor

earlier this year, i was forced to open a bank of america account to cash a large check that was drawn from their bank-- my bank wanted to put a month long hold on the check before cashing it. so i did, then promptly pulled out most of the funds. i came to find out that they had some stupid ass 1500.00 minimum balance rule, so i pulled out the rest of my money and closed the account. then i closed it again that same day online because the account status hadn't changed. a month later, i got a statement in the mail saying my current account balance was -$ 9.95. the same account i closed. twice. so i investigated online. they had a live chat feature (the same i used to close the account the second time) so i figured i'd give that a try. it quickly became apparent that: a- this was useless b- bank of america's online banking specialists were ironically named for a few reasons this isn't meant to be funny, just informative for any of you out there that have a b of a account. i tried to keep it clean because i'm one classy son of a bitch, and i wanted to see how far it would go. but now i guess i feel a little bad for the poor third world phone bank drone. a little. "you" is me, and "stefanie" is my new pal. names changed to protect the innocent. chat follows: Stefanie Kabel: Hello, my name is Stefanie. Thank you for being a valued Bank of America customer. I will be delighted to assist you with your personal accounts today. Stefanie Kabel: May I have your complete name in order to assist you better? You: hey stef. i'm papi. Stefanie Kabel: Hello papi. Stefanie Kabel: A very warm welcome to you! You: thanks. that's very kind. not to bring you down or anything, but i noticed that you guys are expecting ten bucks from me. Stefanie Kabel: Oh! Stefanie Kabel: so and so, I understand your concern regarding the fee assessed to your account. Stefanie Kabel: I will check that for you right away and see what best I can do for you. Stefanie Kabel: May I please have the last four digits of the account you are referring to? You: 1234 Stefanie Kabel: Thank you so much for the information. Stefanie Kabel: Let me quickly check that for you. You: hey stef, what's the capital of norway? Stefanie Kabel: Frankly speaking, I don't know. Stefanie Kabel: papi, I see that you have Standard Checking account. Stefanie Kabel: And if you do not maintain the minimum daily balance of $1500.00 in the account, Stefanie Kabel: you will be charge with the 9.95 fee. You: you see that i had one. not exactly the same thing. You: not only am i curious as to why you think i owe you ten dollars, but i'm curious to see how you think you're going to get them from me. Stefanie Kabel: papi, I can understand your situation. Stefanie Kabel: I really wish I could do something for you. You: i closed the account on the 16th of july in my local branch. You: later that day, i came on here and closed it again using the chat window. You: a month later, you think you're getting ten bucks from me. where does that leave us? Stefanie Kabel: I understand what you might be going through. Stefanie Kabel: However, I see that your account is open and in an active status. You: don't be shy, stef. tell me why i owe you ten bucks and how you're getting them from me. Stefanie Kabel: papi, I can understand your situation, and realize that the fee is very high. Stefanie Kabel: However, as per the features of the account, you will be charge with the $9.95 fee, if you do not maintain the balance. Stefanie Kabel: I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience cause to you. You: i don't think that we are on the same page here. tell me, do you have a time machine? Stefanie Kabel: I would appreciate if you allow me some time to look into the detail. You: take all the time you need, sunshine. they are complex machines. Stefanie Kabel: papi, I have checked and would be able to refund you the fee of $9.95 charged on 07/31/09. Stefanie Kabel: Then once your balance comes in positive, Stefanie Kabel: and balance comes to $0.00. Stefanie Kabel: You can chat with us to close the account. Stefanie Kabel: Would that be fine with you? You: it was fine with me the last two times i closed the account. shouldn't we try something stronger this time? Stefanie Kabel: You can also visit your nearest Banking center and they will take care of your concern. You: i don't feel the chat is enough to close the account. actually, i know it isn't. isn't there a special dance or something involved? do i have to punch someone in the small of the back? Stefanie Kabel: papi, I completely understand your concern. Stefanie Kabel: I would personally suggest you to visit the same Banking center, Stefanie Kabel: where you have closed the account last time. Stefanie Kabel: They will surely take care of your convcern. Stefanie Kabel: As they did not closed the account properly. You: can i punch someone this time? Stefanie Kabel: I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience cause to you. You: wasn't slumdog millionaire great? Stefanie Kabel: I wish I could have been more of help to you in this regard. You: you aren't alone. Stefanie Kabel: I certainly understand that you are frustrated with this issue. You: its seems to me that you should pay me ten dollars to close the account. You: that seems fair. doesn't it, stef? Stefanie Kabel: Do you wish me to refund you the fee of $9.95? You: yeah, but you should pay me ten bucks in addition to that. i should get an account closing bonus. every time i close it, (and you keep it open) i get a larger bonus. since this is the third time i'm closing it, the bonus is probably more than ten dollars by now. can you check that detail for me? Stefanie Kabel: I can understand your situation. Stefanie Kabel: If there would have been a way to help you out I would have certainly done that. Stefanie Kabel: Are you there with me? You: only in spirit. what's your favorite slayer album? Stefanie Kabel: I do not any favourite. You: yeah, you're right. most of their stuff from the 80s was pretty good. You: so you're saying i can't have an account closing bonus? with interest? you could put it in a special account for me. that way i stay with you guys and everyone wins. Stefanie Kabel: Okay! You: i knew you would see it my way. thank you stef. just put my bonus in my account for me. thanks again. you're a wonderful human being. Stefanie Kabel: Pleasure is all mine! Stefanie Kabel: Is there anything else I may assist you with? Stefanie Kabel: Are you there with me? You: well yes, there is something. Stefanie Kabel: I was asking from you. Stefanie Kabel: Is there anything else I may assist you with? You: my laundry is piling up. when can you get on that? Stefanie Kabel: Oh sorry for that! Stefanie Kabel: It was a pleasure assisting an esteemed customer like you today. Stefanie Kabel: Have a wonderful day and an equally pleasant evening! You: don't be sorry. just get cracking on it when you're done here. Stefanie Kabel: We appreciate your business and thank you for choosing Bank of America and our Text Chat service. Stefanie Kabel: Bye and take a good care of yourself!! Stefanie Kabel: Oh okay! Stefanie Kabel: Have a good night! You: but knock before you come in. just in case. You: and if you see a sock on the doorknob, come back later. Stefanie Kabel: Surely. You: indubitably. You: you know how i roll. Stefanie Kabel: Take care. Stefanie Kabel: To safeguard any personal information, please close this window by clicking the "Close" button in the upper right corner of this chat window. You: you're getting bossy now. i kinda like that. Stefanie Kabel: I apologize. You: no, don't. i like where this is going. Stefanie Kabel: Good night! You: Last text message receivedChat InformationThank you for chatting with us. We value your feedback and would like to invite you to take a moment to complete a survey and tell us how we did today. The survey takes only a few moments to complete and will be presented to you upon closing this window. so i guess i... won? legally binding document? love, eor yes, formatting was hard.

emu 1616 laptop audio interface added. bought refurbished from manufacturer, never used it. never registered, in original packaging with all cds and what nots included. $335 shipped http://www.zzounds.com/item--EMU1616 love, eor

e-mu 0404 usb 2.0 interface whatever thing $160 shipped bought last year, used gently and sporadically. plastic still on top, even. you can record 1 or 2 tracks into your computer, and the 60db preamps are strong enough to power hungrier mics (like a shure sm7b or sm 57); clean signal without clipping. great for making clips, laying down ideas or tracking fullblown songs. makes a great attenuator for your headphones, or maybe you want to hook up some monitors to your computer. pretty handy. going with a different format to free up the usb slot, hence the sale. if there is any interest i'll poke around to see if i can find the original box and what nots it came with. neither the interface or software was registered. full details below: http://www.emu.com/products/product.asp?product=10447 http://www.zzounds.com/item--EMU0404 neck and bridge pup from an epi sheraton - gold make an offer, i guess. neck is brand ass new and bubblewrapped wrapped, the bridge is cool and worn. you can pretend you did it, i won't say {censored}. guess they are epiphone 57s, which are patterened after the gibson ones. liked the bridge, actually, but wanted something different- slightly less rock. never heard the neck one. love, eor postal money orders would be fine. have references and ebay feedback if needed.