I'm going to quit the band after our gig tomorrow.

[GreatDane]

i've been playing with these guys for over a year now, and we've definitely had some good times. we've also had some challenges which have gotten to the point where i think i'm pretty worn down.

 

the main reason is distance; practice is over an hour each way from the space to my house. there have been a few times where there's been an emergency with my son back at the house that i've needed to leave practice for, and i just can't get back in enough time. i was out at the space twice this week and was thinking about how i'm spending as much as time on the commute as i am practicing.

 

though less of a reason, but significant enough to be mentioned, is that i've grown frustrated with the musical direction (or lack thereof) of the band. i feel like i'm putting in too much effort relative to the thrill i've been getting. i'm not some draconian ball-buster; i just want to see that over the course of a year we're all growing musically. once it starts to feel like punching a clock, then it's time to say goodbye, IMO.

 

i don't regret joining up with these guys because i've been able to keep my chops up and have even learned some new tunes and been able to improve my vocal ability. it's just that, instead of letting the feelings fester and create tension/drama, i think it's best to make my exit and move on. we're playing a benefit event for 300 people, so i figure i'll go out on a high note.

 

so, is anyone in hartford-area Connecticut looking for a guitarist/bassist with some vocal ability? anyone else been through (or going through) a similar situation? if you can endure my {censored}ty gear, then i'm a good pick.

[Les Paul Lover]

I'm bandless too.... - could be an opportunity??? Just move over here, kids and all, we'll be sorted?

 

Good thing you quit before it becomes too much of a drain really. Is that the music you get to listen to on ... but can he play?

 

I like some of that stuff very much!

[rockguitar2000]

What band are you in? I'm in a Hartford area club band. I'll keep my ears open for anyone looking.

[BlackCat]

... if you can endure my {censored}ty gear, then i'm a good pick.

Touch

[Zemmy]

thats precisely why i stopped doing stand up comedy...it became about punching a clock, when its no longer fun, its time to walk away

[GreatDane]

I'm bandless too.... - could be an opportunity??? Just move over here, kids and all, we'll be sorted? Good thing you quit before it becomes too much of a drain really. Is that the music you get to listen to on ... but can he play? I like some of that stuff very much!

thank you for the enticement, but i'm pretty firmly rooted at this point.

thank you for the compliment! no, none of what i've been doing with this band is on that soundclick site. probably won't be either. i try to reserve that space for tunes i'm most proud of (although there probably is some crap on there that i've forgotten about).

[GreatDane]

What band are you in? I'm in a Hartford area club band. I'll keep my ears open for anyone looking.

i appreciate the offer. i honestly don't think i'd meet with most gigging bands' approval. we've got a 17 month old son who i try to spend all my waking hours with, and another baby on the way in November. i think i may shift focus to writing and recording so i can be at home with the family more often. i thought i'd hate it at first (like i could no longer live the dream), but now i realize it's the only thing that really matters.

the ideal band situation for me right now would probably be writing original tunes with a band one night a week within 20 minutes of the house, putting out recordings and playing the occasional local show.

[jr_vw2]

my last band was the same situation musically. But the difference was that the practice space was at my house. That conversation sucked when I had to tell them I was out. They had no place to practice after that and every one went their separate ways.

 

Musicaly I was putting WAY to much into the band for what I was getting out of it. It was time to throw in the towel...I was spent.

[GreatDane]

my last band was the same situation musically. But the difference was that the practice space was at my house. That conversation sucked when I had to tell them I was out. They had no place to practice after that and every one went their separate ways. Musicaly I was putting WAY to much into the band for what I was getting out of it. It was time to throw in the towel...I was spent.

 

 

i have been there too, and it's very difficult over time to be the constant host, unless everyone is super-professional about everything. i'll have to fight the urge to want to host again this time around. the lure of it is that it's very convenient and no travelling. that said, it can be hell.

[jelloman]

I can honestly say that forming and maintaing a band is the hardest thing I've ever attempted...and I'm never gonna do it again...

...unless the right people, the right situation, and the right set-list comes along...

...maybe...

[GreatDane]

I can honestly say that forming and maintaing a band is the hardest thing I've ever attempted...and I'm never gonna do it again... ...unless the right people, the right situation, and the right set-list comes along... ...maybe...

 

 

bands aren't for everyone. i actually really enjoy playing in a band and helping to advance the style, setlist, etc. i just need to find or build something much closer to home and with a better stylistic direction. wish me luck...

[GreatDane]

thats precisely why i stopped doing stand up comedy...it became about punching a clock, when its no longer fun, its time to walk away

 

 

i completely agree. music is not work (although i do have to work hard to play well). i guess another way to say it is; when the passion fades and all that's left is effort, then it's time to re-evaluate.

[_pete_]

I wish I only had a one hour drive!

I'm in Ohio and my band is in Nashville. 5 hour drive for me.

 

Between my currently unemployed situation and vision problems the band is on hold. At least we all like each other and like what we have put together so the time off isn't an issue.

 

I understand your situation though and don't think you'll have any problem finding something else.

[GreatDane]

I wish I only had a one hour drive! I'm in Ohio and my band is in Nashville. 5 hour drive for me. Between my currently unemployed situation and vision problems the band is on hold. At least we all like each other and like what we have put together so the time off isn't an issue. I understand your situation though and don't think you'll have any problem finding something else.

wow~ five hours?! {censored}, i should have kept my mouth shut, huh?

it's good you have the support of your band mates while you get back on your feet, job-wise. and thank you for the words of encouragement!

[aenemated]

frankly, i wouldn't want you in my band on account of all those crappy guitars you have.

 

[GreatDane]

frankly, i wouldn't want you in my band on account of all those crappy guitars you have.

ouch. snob.

[riffy]

i appreciate the offer. i honestly don't think i'd meet with most gigging bands' approval. we've got a 17 month old son who i try to spend all my waking hours with, and another baby on the way in November. i think i may shift focus to writing and recording so i can be at home with the family more often. i thought i'd hate it at first (like i could no longer live the dream), but now i realize it's the only thing that really matters. the ideal band situation for me right now would probably be writing original tunes with a band one night a week within 20 minutes of the house, putting out recordings and playing the occasional local show.

You sound perfect for me... You wanna move to Roanoke, Va?

[GreatDane]

You sound perfect for me... You wanna move to Roanoke, Va?

 

 

thank you, riffy! i'm sticking around these parts for the foreseeable future.

[Special J]

I'm kind of in the same boat. My last band broke up a little over a year ago over some drama between 2 of the members. It kind of soured me on the band thing for a while. The singer was getting something new together, but they practiced in Farmington, and I'm in East Hampton, working in North Haven, and at the time my daughter was going to be born soon, so I just wasn't into the time commitment or the commute, even though the music was good. I decided that spending the time watching my little girl grow up was more important. I'm really glad I made that decision.

 

Lately, I've been really getting an itch to get back into it, but I'm really not sure if I've got it in me to start another serious gigging band from the ground up, and I haven't found any interesting bands that I'd like to join. I've been helping an old band mate with his first solo album, but that's about it.

 

What kind of stuff are you into?

[jrockbridge]

I like the way you're planning to go out after a sizable gig. You seem to know how to end things right. I think you have your priorities sorted out very well.

 

I'm in a band. There's only 3 of us. We tried adding more members at one point, but that made it too complicated. We don't play a lot of gigs. We mainly get together just for fun. We only practice every 2 weeks and often go a month without getting together. My drive to practice at our bass players house is about 45 minutes. I'm working on clearing out my garage so I can setup all my recording gear and we'll hold some practices at my house. I like my band situation a lot. It's enjoyable, we're not very ambitious and quite frankly, we're not that great. But, we are happy.

[Jkater]

GD, if you're ready to move to Germany, I'll provide the beer!

Seriously, this seems to be a reality for many. I played in two bands where an important member had to quit because the driving distance was too insane.

And I love hearing about a dad treasuring his kids. I'm also a daddy before I am anything else.

[maltomario]

hey GD, i'm in similar boat as you. i do 95% of the work in my band (which i started from scratch in my basement just a little over a year ago). from booking shows, creating setlists, marketing, advertising, making sure our gigs are listed in local papers, facebook updates, etc etc on top of being the guitarist. we havent had time to practice in over 6 months, as we gig about 2x every weekend. the only thing i don't do is our band website updates

it is my experience that if you dont take charge and do things nobody else will. musicians especially, arent generally known as the 'go-getter' types and will normally follow path of least resistance. so as much as i hate doing all the work, my persistence and dedication is one of the key factors in our success.

that being said, i do still enjoy playing with my band mates and of course the money is real nice (saving gig money up for a gibson R9). if it ever becomes not fun, i will probably just stay home and start writing / recording more.

hang in there. you have too much skill to not share it, especially if you still enjoy playing. good luck!

[MoreGuitars]

I play in a band that gigs one night a week. I'm married with a child, and I hear you on the difficulties of keeping it together. A bonus for us is we play classic rock, so we don't really need to practice to learn new tunes, cause we play old tunes.

I'm finding I enjoy nights off a lot more, so I would like to cut back. Gigged last night and I'm beat today.

[GreatDane]

hey, jkater! i spent just over a week in Germany back when i was in highschool and loved every single minute of it. after we graduated college, i had another opportunity to go to attend a wedding, but couldn't afford the trip. i've been kicking myself every since. it's a beautiful country. and the beer... oh, the beer.

 

i sometimes sound like some lame posterchild when i talk about my affection for my son, but i really can't help myself. i'd do anything for him.

[GreatDane]

hey GD, i'm in similar boat as you. i do 95% of the work in my band (which i started from scratch in my basement just a little over a year ago). from booking shows, creating setlists, marketing, advertising, making sure our gigs are listed in local papers, facebook updates, etc etc on top of being the guitarist. we havent had time to practice in over 6 months, as we gig about 2x every weekend. the only thing i don't do is our band website updates it is my experience that if you dont take charge and do things nobody else will. musicians especially, arent generally known as the 'go-getter' types and will normally follow path of least resistance. so as much as i hate doing all the work, my persistence and dedication is one of the key factors in our success. that being said, i do still enjoy playing with my band mates and of course the money is real nice (saving gig money up for a gibson R9). if it ever becomes not fun, i will probably just stay home and start writing / recording more. hang in there. you have too much skill to not share it, especially if you still enjoy playing. good luck!

 

 

thank you, Mario! you guys are always playing out, and i love hearing about your shows. i'd say if you can scrape up an R9 out of your cut of band proceeds, then you're doing pretty good in my book. i won't ever stop playing; just need to re-adjust my course and take a different path than the one i'm on currently.