reading a book.....tremendously depressed. have you read this?

[bluesway]

has anyone read moses avalon's "million dollar mistakes" about the cesspool that is the music industry? (he wrote another one before it called "confessions of a music producer" or something like that. i didn't read it, but i heard it was good.) it's brilliantly written. and what he's trying to do is steer you clear of the {censored} in the business, but the effect it is having on me is simply instilling fear and maybe a shot of not-so-appreciated-or-needed reality. part of being a musician is continuing and persevering and i'm getting discouraged.

 

here's my deal: i'm pretty much at a crossroads; i'm 29 years old - thirty in the fall. i have a wife and kid, so my professional music goals had to take a bit of a back burner to parenting/husbandry....and that's cool. but now my son's almost 6 and doesn't need the 'babying' that he needed before and i'm just about to release a pretty serious songwriter/jazzy disk in the summer.........but this is a pretty ageist business....and i'm coming up on the age where it's not doing for a guy like me, you know? reading this book is getting really difficult for me. has anyone gone through this? dealt with it?

 

i'd love any help or ideas you have. really.

[gtrbass]

If you desire to make a living solely from music you need to re-adjust your priorities. It is not conducive to a family lifestyle and would introduce significant hardships for your family. Making a 'living' from music has always been a struggle. Just about everyone who ever picked up an instrument and was good at it wants to do nothing else. That's natural.

 

This is just my opinion, but what I think is critical to consider is that there is a predominant mindset where making music (and doing nothing else) is like a form of addiction. In this context, addiction can be defined as the state of being given up to some habit or compulsion. It is feuled by the notion that the risk taker will be rewarded with affirmation, validation, and wealth. The overwhelming reality is that supply and demand applies. Hard work and talent does not guarantee success, critically or financially.

 

Is ageism rampant? Yes, it is. I think the reason is that the young and inexperienced are more apt to be exploited than someone with enough life experience to recognize that the deal isn't very fair.

 

A decent quality of life requires balance. You should balance your music pursuits within the context of your life. There is no need to despair. You can express yourself and have a decent family life.

[daddymack]

but don't quit your day job...

[BlueStrat]

 

but now my son's almost 6 and doesn't need the 'babying' that he needed before

 

 

No, what he's going to need now is a dad. Age 6 to 16 is crucial for fathers with their sons. Everything he will learn about being a man he will learn from you, both good and bad, and this will be 'caught' as much as taught. You cannot pass on to him what you are not there to give.

 

I don't know why so many musicians do this to themselves. ( I include myself here, because I did it too). Why do so many of us have a dream about making it in music, and then drag a wife and kid(s) into it? I was in my 40s before I came to the realizatioin that if you want to be a pro performer doing your own material, traveling is the job, pure and simple. If you have a family, get used to doing weekend gigs. Or get used to losing your family, because successful original bands are playing about 340 nights a year. I don't personally know any full time road musicians whose marriages survived (including my first one). I've heard of it, but I've never seen it.

[stratcool]

Nothing personal, but id take the above advice with a pinch of salt. Ive been reading the above three members posts for quiet some time... and I think just like any industry there will always be unsuccessful people who are bitter about the whole process. I think you want to take advice from someone who has already MADE it(not me ofcourse), rather than people who couldn't make it for whatever reason. They would be in a better position to explain you HOW to make it.. rather than to avoid it.

 

And secondly, I think if you have the talent and if you are smart about it and are a half intelligent person with enough persistence you can do it. Most people cant make it, because either they give up or because they keep trying to the wrong stuff for ages and then become bitter and old. I mean, John Mayer is smart and talented... and being smart.. you know where to compromise and what the strategy should be. Because at the end of the day it is a business and youve got to have that sharpness.

[Scafeets]

 

Nothing personal, but id take the above advice with a pinch of salt. Ive been reading the above three members posts for quiet some time... and I think just like any industry there will always be unsuccessful people who are bitter about the whole process. I think you want to take advice from someone who has already MADE it(not me ofcourse), rather than people who couldn't make it for whatever reason. They would be in a better position to explain you HOW to make it.. rather than to avoid it. And secondly, I think if you have the talent and if you are smart about it and are a half intelligent person with enough persistence you can do it. Most people cant make it, because either they give up or because they keep trying to the wrong stuff for ages and then become bitter and old. I mean, John Mayer is smart and talented... and being smart.. you know where to compromise and what the strategy should be. Because at the end of the day it is a business and youve got to have that sharpness.

 

 

Nothing personal; but taking a swipe with your first post at long-time H-C regulars who share their experience is not a way to get folks to consider your opinion worth a {censored}.

[gtrbass]

Stratcool,

 

Bitter????? Unsuccessful??? Me??? I'm a realist.

 

I'm not bitter. I've had opportunities and experiences few musicians ever have. I know the good and the bad of the music business. I came up in LA during the golden era of the mid '80's. It was friggin' paradise. I lament that it still isn't that way, but that isn't bitterness.

 

As far as unsuccessful goes, I did 'make it' as a sideman and studio player in LA for a while. This was back when there was still a decent living to make. Since then I have been wildly successful from a business standpoint. Some of these successes have been music related, and some have been in other fields. The concept of wealth is relative, but let's just say that I have the financial freedom to do things most musicians could only dream about.

 

As I said I am a realist. If you have a family, they come first, not your career aspirations. If you have a family, you need to balance things accordingly.

 

Old??? Well that's relative too. I'm 41. I hardly consider that old.

 

If I'm bitter or old, I'll laughingly take that to the bank. I'm sure the same goes for Bluestrat and Daddymack. They have both had more opportunities for success than most musicians ever get.

[BlueStrat]

I'm with gtrbass. I've done more and gone farther in my musical career than the vast majority of people out there playing. No, I never "made it," but I got to play full time on the road, made 4 cds and a vinyl album with a record company, got favorably reviewed by two national magazines, got a song used in a MacWorld CD insert in both the US and Japan, have opened for a lot of national acts and played a lot of high profile festivals and shows. I have sold several thousand CDs, and I've won numerous regional awards. I was rejected by some deals I wanted and turned some down.

 

I walked away from it at age 49 when I realized that the business has changed to where I barely recognize it anymore, and at my age, there's more to do with the rest of my life than travel around the country plying guitar for little to no money for people who could care less if I lived or died. If that makes me "bitter", so be it. And frankly, I don't give a rat's ass how anyone takes my posts. I share my experience and opinion on things the way I see it. Take it or leave it.

[stratcool]

Like I said that its nothing personal, and I never intended to post on this forum, but after reading these three posters over and over and lamenting about the industry just made me put my first reply. It might sound offensive, but I didn't intend it to be.

 

What I really mean to say is that, you can be as much realist as you want to be. At the end of the day if your music isnt pleasing to a million people or so, then youre not going to make a lot of money and you will always be a striving musician. Its creating a brandname first and then exploring what you always wanted to do. The reason why most people dont make it is that very honestly theyre songs arent that catchy and at the end of the day nobody cares about you, unless you have a huge following. Nobodys going to spend money if they dont like what you play. You might play the most technical stuff in the world but it doesnt matter to the ordinary dude who just hears stuff on the radio. Hell only buy what pleases him. Either you make it.. or you Dont.. theres is no middle road.. the middle roaders will always be bitter that they missed their opportunities. If its not working change it.. Work trhough the system, be intelligent about it.

 

Now if your looking for the mainstream success.. then youve got to accept the facts and realities. Most people dont want to compromise. Well you dont have to compromise on the things you dont want to compromise but theres No something for nothing. Youve got to compromise. Then most people cry that they are not paid enough by the industry. But they fail to look at it from the business point of view. Someones investing a dollar in you and they want a return on that dollar. Nobody gives a {censored} about you, and they shouldnt.. thats THE REALITY. Its a monetized world, so youve gotta work around it. I mean sure you might not make a dime on the first album, but it DOES create a bradname for you.. You do achieve some level of success. The next album perhaps you can ask for a higher rate.. and it might be paid because of the brandmae you have created... its a long term thing anyway.

 

And about the dude who was saying to keep a day job. Well if you have a day job and you do music at night, youll be a mediocre at both things at best. Youve got to concentrate on your {censored} as if your life depended on it.. and only then can you have a reasonable chance of being succesful. From Bob dylans to Miles Davis to John Mayers to Bruce Springsteens to the acts... almost 90% of them quit school to focus on what they had to do. Youve got to take the risk.. but then be INtelligent and Savy about it.

 

Sorry if it sounds a bit antagnostic but I just had to vent out my feelings.

[bluesway]

hehehe.

 

daddymack - i actually would like some advice from you. as these guys seem to hint at, you're definitely someone who is worth listening to.....from whom a guy like me could learn a bit more than a tired and somewhat bitter cliché essentially used to say to someone "you're not good enough." if you don't mind, i'll try and take that one with stratcool's pinch of salt.

 

stratcool - thnx, man. i see what you're trying to do and despite your somewhat less than tactful entrance into a forum chock-full of great advice by very truly experienced men, you do make some decent points....but the parallel between catchy and success is a dangerous one, man....and john mayer IS talented, but so am i as well as MANY, MANY others....except i don't have rich parents back in the mansion in connecticut to fund me while i'm 'exploring my options.' (and no, i'm not meaning to sound inappreciative to you; im' not) and to you, i ask: have you read moses avalon yet? you should.....just because it's worth learning about. it's an emotionally difficult read. get ready

 

bluestrat - i appreciate your input. you were one of the guys i had in mind when i posted here. so essentially, i wanted to hear what YOU had to say. although i appreciate you telling me how my son is going to need me in the next ten years, i think your telling me about it is just a result of me not explaining myself enough in my initial post. i already know that i can't travel. my son is my life.....and i spend more time with him every day than any other father i can think of.... and that's never going to change. but as a father (and i'm assuming a pretty good one) yourself, you KNOW that you get some much needed breathing room when your kids are 5, rather than when they are 1-4. you KNOW that.

 

to all - i guess i don't know what the hell i expect out of this. i know i'm good at what i do. (sorry if i sound like an arrogant asshole, especially since i've been having such a hard time with my own level of subsistent self confidence in EVERY other area related to music! but i'm proud of the work....wait until you hear it....i think it's something to be proud of). i guess that plays right into what gtrbass was saying.

Just about everyone who ever picked up an instrument and was good at it wants to do nothing else. That's natural.

bullseye.....not to mention the balance thing. you're right. it's just difficult though, isn't it?

 

thank you to everyone - especially to the guys who are the generation above me. i can't stop being a songwriter.....i'm already putting together my NEXT studio CD.....i'm 'addicted.' if only i could limit my addiction to the creation of music and NOT to any career in music. that would bring peace.

[BlueStrat]

 

At the end of the day if your music isnt pleasing to a million people or so, then youre not going to make a lot of money and you will always be a striving musician.

 

 

Not necessarily. There are lots of guys who make 6 figure incomes as session players, producers, spongwriters, even guys who perform in house gigs that no one will ever hear of. It depends on from what angle you pursue music.

 

 

Either you make it.. or you Dont.. theres is no middle road..

 

 

Utter bull{censored}. There are many thousands of musicians making a living in the middle road.

 

 

the middle roaders will always be bitter that they missed their opportunities.

 

 

Do mindless generalizations on your part pass as facts where you live?

 

And why do you assume disgust at a system that many of us have devoted a lifetime to but has quite recently and rapidly changed for the worse is automatically bitterness?

 

 

If its not working change it..

 

 

What do you think we geezers posting here are trying to do? The status quo has become roughly this: any kid with a guitar, a PC with ProTools and 6 months of guitar lessons and a Myspace page is now a "songwriter" and "recording artist", who has to play 5 band "shows" to 16 people for no money just to get heard. Over the years I've been here, I've seen an increasing attitude among young guys starting out that they just assume they won't be paid anything, but that's okay, they'll keep doing it because they are certain that if you get known, the money will follow, and besides, that's how that one band that maybe 10,000 people have ever heard of 'made it'. Except that even a 6 year old can see the fallacy of that logic. Some of us who have been around for 20 or 30 years or more know better, and know that it used to work differently, and worked better. And we're called dinosaurs, bitter old schleps, etc etc. Of course, a lot of the guys calling us that have never experienced anything but the current {censored} du jour, so it's normal for them. Yes, a lot of the music business needed to be changed, but unfortunately, the baby got tossed out with the bathwater, to use an old cliche.

 

As to the rest of your post, there are some things true and a lot of bull{censored} as well. And since you're big on REALITY, you left out the most crucial reality, and the major element of success...LUCK. Being in the right place, at the right time, with the right songs, the right sound, the right look, in front of the right people. Without luck, it doesn't matter how much you compromise (a truly stupid idea on it's face, BTW) or how much you work at it. We all know lots of players and bands that could be touring the world, but aren't. Why aren't they? They're not in the right place at the right time in front of the right people with the right product, that's why.

 

There was a time when I sounded just like you. I though it was relatively simple: You just do certain things, adapt certain attitudes, tweak this and change that, and you now had a chance of seriosly making it. If you want to know why so many of us old guys have a negative attitude about the business, it's largely because it is this reality that we've come to see: all the years of hard work and (yes) compromise, and sacrificing friends, family, and a career that may have sustained us in our later years, it still all comes down to luck. It's the great cosmic joke, the ultimate shattering of a wheelbarrow full of bull{censored} we were fed from the 1950s on: "Gee, little Timmy, if you just put your mind to it and you work hard, you can become whatever it is you want to!"

 

Some of us were naive enough to believe that, as if practicing guitar for 8 hours a day and working hard at performing was no different than getting a degree in engineering and going to work for Boeing. And some of the guys here are still naive enough to believe it.

 

Granted, you need to be prepared, but doing all the right things is no guarantee of success at all, becaue there are few career fields as entirely subjective as the music business. The success formula is almost non-existent, and there are no measurable qualities of what makes or leads to success in music. It just comes down to what someone with clout likes and believers they can sell. You can have 50 bands all do the same thing, and only one gets picked. THAT's the reality.

[Scafeets]

As BlueStrat points out, there are a lot of ways to measure success. After my own turn as an artist in the major label (and publisher) meat grinder, I was employed at three major labels, working directly with dozens of platinum artists as well as scores of mid-level and upcoming acts.

 

Many of the "successful" artists were miserable, and more than a few were broke even after selling millions of units. There's nothing worse than finding out you're chasing the wrong dream; and life on the road, for many poeople, becomes a supreme drag after the third or fourth year. It doesn't matter if you're playing 200-seat clubs or big arenas. After a while, many musicians decide that they want something else out of life.

 

My guitar teacher in the 70s (the late, great Harry Leahy -- Google him) gave up working as a side man with some of the top names in jazz to settle down, play local clubs and give lessons. Why? Family, lifestyle, stability, peace of mind and creative freedom, among other reasons.

 

Finding a life balance in whatever you do -- performing, day job, etc. is a quest. Most of us who have survived the tours and industry bull{censored} and are willing to share advice aren't bitter as much as "people willing to talk without motives or agenda." That makes our advice pretty damn valuable.

[BlueStrat]

but as a father (and i'm assuming a pretty good one) yourself, you KNOW that you get some much needed breathing room when your kids are 5, rather than when they are 1-4. you KNOW that.

 

No, I don't know that. In fact, my experience was quite the opposite. My wife spent far more time with my kids as babies than when they starfted school, whene they took up T-ball and soccer and fishing and then little league and Junior Tackle football, and then middle school and high school sports, and our episodes with drinking and pot and girls and bla bla bla. The fact is, I was way busier and way more involved with my kids from age 6-16 than any other age.

 

Now that we're nearly empty nesters ( my daughter just graduated last week, the last one) I have all the time in the world to relax. Actually, the last couple of years has been pretty mellow since the boys left home and my daughter was a late teen.

[daddymack]

hehehe. daddymack - i actually would like some advice from you. as these guys seem to hint at, you're definitely someone who is worth listening to.....from whom a guy like me could learn a bit more than a tired and somewhat bitter cliché essentially used to say to someone "you're not good enough." if you don't mind, i'll try and take that one with stratcool's pinch of salt.

Okay, my comment was perhaps a tad flippant, however, you made no reference to your level of experience, and saying you are 'releasing' a disc...well, is it on a label, how are you planning to promote it...and so on. My intent was to point out that it didn't seem like you have a real plan in place. The road life, as many here are more eloquent about, is no place for a man with a family. You need to assess your priorities, and decide if the family comes first (in my case it did) or the gamble (and it is a gamble...you get much better odds in Vegas).

Why everyone thinks that being signed and becoming a superstar is the only measure of musical success is beyond me. As others said, there are other means of making a living in the biz as a musician...and I am getting ready to go back into the session/casual fray shortly, not full time (I have a day job at which I am rather well thought of...I have been interviewed in Fortune magazine, for instance, and as a musician, I am reasonably well thought of in my genre in this town, I just have not been making myself available to other work, just my band), so the statement as to being mediocre at both, well, maybe I am the exception, but I doubt it; I think perhaps stratcool, who's experience and skill level I am unaware of, is perhaps making overly generalized statements due to lack of knowledge.

[stratcool]

Ok rather than argue over here endlessly.. lets use this opportunity to its best use. Given the experience you guys have.. lets have a SOLID step by step method that you guys think if followed will have result in a BEST shot at making it big as a mainstream recording artist. Tell us the real deal.. What is needed to make it big... forget how bad the industry is.. just give us a REAL good outline of what you guys think is the best plan for having a decent shot at the mainstream success.

[Scafeets]

 

Ok rather than argue over here endlessly.. lets use this opportunity to its best use. Given the experience you guys have.. lets have a SOLID step by step method that you guys think if followed will have result in a BEST shot at making it big as a mainstream recording artist. Tell us the real deal.. What is needed to make it big... forget how bad the industry is.. just give us a REAL good outline of what you guys think is the best plan for having a decent shot at the mainstream success.

 

 

Good challenge, since making it big in the mainstream will require a lot of different skills and a good measure of luck.

 

I guess if I wanted to stack the odds in my favor, I would consider all of the following:

 

1. Looks: It doesn't take a marketing genious to realize that a lot of musical acts have an edge because of their looks. If I were trying to "make it" I would work out more and hire a stylist of some sort.

 

2. Sound: You might think that the world is looking for a completely new sound, but you would be wrong. I guess if I needed to be commercial, I would listen to the platinum acts that were somewhat similar in style to my own and then I would try to figure out where my sound -- tone, tempo, timbre, etc. deviated from the commercial norm. Then I'd start morphing.

 

3. Song structure and content: I'm a Steely Dan fan; but if I wanted to write hits, I would analyze the songs that make the top 10 singles chart. If your stuff is too hip for the room and you want to sell millions, do like Jon Mayer and smooth out the edges, reduce the solos to a bare minimum and write about relationships.

 

4. Fail Quickly: I borrow this bit of advice from Guy Kawasaki, who was actually talking about busines startups; but it applies to music, too. If you're struggling, while doing the same {censored}, after a year or two, change your {censored}. Remember: We're not talking about art here - you want to be a star, right?

 

5. Carefully select the People Around You: This is not a time to show loyalty to that semi-talented, but nice-guy bass player you've been carrying for a year. Get the best players and song collaborators you can find. This also applies to agents, managers, lawyers, sound men and anyone else who will have an impact on your career.

 

6. Develop Very Thick Skin: If you can't handle constructive criticism, you have no business jumping in the commercial waters.

 

7. Have an exit strategy: There's a good chance you will find yourself in a bad contractual relationship at some point in your career. Be prepared.

 

8. Have a success strategy: It's amazing how many successful artists did fine until they achieved success, only to find out they couldn't handle it. Figure out NOW how to handle money, people, substances, egos and conflicts, because they'll all get bigger if you're successful.

 

9. No matter how many people get a percentage, you're still the boss. Make sure you understand everythng you sign. Do not delegate the "business" to someone else. They are there for advice, expertise, etc. but you need to know the business end if you don't want to get porked in it.

 

10. Watch out for Yoko. If your girlfirend's advice is different than what you hear from most everyone else, she's wrong.

 

11. This ain't no disco: But danceable songs give you a better than average shot at the bigs.

 

12. Booze and drugs ruined just as many careers on the way up as they did on the way down. If you can't handle them, stay away from them.

 

13. Network: Just like any other job; the more you network the better your connections. The better your connections, the better your chances of making it.

 

14. Integrity increases your chances of success and reduces Karmic Payback. Sure it's a cutthroat business, but there's no reason to act like an asshole. People like to be around nice people. Be a nice person.

 

15. There are many easier ways to make a lot of money. If you're in it for the Benjamins, follow the money. If you have half a brain, that will lead you away from the music industry.

 

16. Have fun, dammit. If you think you will enjoy the ride, go for it. With a 99.9% failure rate, you have to realize that the journey will most likely be the reward. So have fun, and keep your brains, health and integrity.

[BlueStrat]

What he said.

 

I'd add this:

 

17. Have some plan for retirement. No matter what you think at 30, you probably won't still be rocking at 60. At least not at a level that will support your sorry ass.

 

18. Having a backup plan doesn't hurt, either. If mere desire was all it took for someone to 'make it', there'd be 5 million rock stars. Too many young guys who go into music don't ever think they might not make it, though the evidence of the rarity of commercial success is all around them. Learning a trade of having a marketable degree isn't 'selling out', it's smart planning.

[Scafeets]

tenjuberrymud

[gtrbass]

19. Learn something about business Ultimately you must let someone else handle your busines affairs, but be prepared to understand the implications of business decisions being made on your behalf. If you lack the ability to make informed decisions you will be exceeding vulnerable to exploitation.

 

20. Diversify Any strategy for long term success includes diversification. Any tree ripens and bears fruit for a finite period. During the harvest phase you must also prepare other 'trees' for future ripening. If there are enough trees in your orchard in cyclic order, you will never worry about famine. This also lessens the impact of unforseen failure with one tree.

[RobRoy]

Music is like baseball/softball. For 99.9999% of the population, it is what they do for fun. Their money comes from their day job. Your future (and you families) will depend on your day job, not your music.

 

Beyond your day job, your best chance for true financial success as a musician is to buy a lotto ticket.

 

The truth will set you free, but it may depress you a bit at first. Kinda like when you first discovered there is no Santa Claus.

[Scafeets]

 

Music is like baseball/softball. For 99.9999% of the population, it is what they do for fun. Their money comes from their day job. Your future (and you families) will depend on your day job, not your music. Beyond your day job, your best chance for true financial success as a musician is to buy a lotto ticket. The truth will set you free, but it may depress you a bit at first. Kinda like when you first discovered there is no Santa Claus.

 

 

Good analogy. There are 1,200 big leaguers in baseball - way more than the number of musicians who will make the Billboard Hot 100 this year -- plus more than 5,000 pros in the minor leagues.

 

This thread is (was) about "making it" and that leaves a lot of room for interpretation. I consider myself a success because I found a balance between a good day job, a happy family life and a band full of nice people who make good music. The fact that we make 3 or 4 hunnert clams a month doing what we love is mad money instead of subsistance money thanks to our day jobs.

[daddymack]

 

thanks guys, this was real constructive. Should be pinned.

 

I agree...although most musicians can't manage to cover all those points...

Stickied...

21) Get a lawyer you trust implicitly. Same with management.

 

22) Keep you staff as small as possible, and pay your people well. Do not allow yourself to become a gravy train for a pack of hangers-on, sycophants, etc (aka your 'entourage'). They will drain you emotionally and financially.

[bluesway]

so, here i was, checking the forum for my thread; thinking it got deleted and POW! sticky. good stuff.

 

i love the 'entourage' comment. it's true. as a complete 'nobody' in music, i definitely know this to be true. i have a friend who "made it" -- well, more accurately, he is the brother of my sister's best friend...follow that?

 

the guy is the founder/songwriter and guitarist in [a multi-platinum band] and he is now completely inaccesible as a result of every single one of his relations (be them friend or even family) tried to become 'useful' to him the minute he got his deal - essentially tagging along any way they could.

 

people get sucked down by that surrounding group. (look at MC Hammer....extreme example).

[bluesway]

The truth will set you free, but it may depress you a bit at first. Kinda like when you first discovered there is no Santa Claus.

yeah.....i'm right there now. maybe i'll manage my life a bit better knowing what [and what not] to expect.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

there's no santa claus?

[Scafeets]

 

and he is now completely inaccesible as a result of every single one of his relations (be them friend or even family) tried to become 'useful' to him the minute he got his deal - essentially tagging along any way they could. people get sucked down by that surrounding group. (look at MC Hammer....extreme example).

 

 

There's a good reason for inaccessibility for big-time artists. A lot of times, what is construed as an entourage is just the necessary flock of tour and business management, label and publishing personnel that are needed to get the job done.

As part of the industry entourage for several platinum artists (job description: wake their sorry asses up and get them to sound checks, studios and interviews) I can tell you that they need to book hotels under fake names, slip in and out of back doors, etc. or they would waste all their time answering the same 5 lame questions and signing autographs, thus never getting anything productive done. And keeping old girlfriends, bandmates and "friends" at a distance is critical, since they're generally EX-girlfriends, EX-bandmates and EX-friends.

Most of the successful players who bring their homies along for the ride end up in a very bad place. There are exceptions, of course, but they are few and far between.